What random shit did you find yourself at work today?

[LEMtheoriginal]

Today i rolled up my trousers to chase an injured goose into the sea. Sadly unsucsessfull - the sea is a big place and i wasnt about to swim in after it. It was so cold i couldt feel my feet.

What random crap did you have to deal with at work today?

eeyore she was fine, just sound asleep

@eyeoresancerre I'm ok it's quite a regular thing but some days I do feel like I'm not paid enough for it. I work in a special school so it's not like they do it on purpose well not most of the time at least. The massive budget cuts don't help though as we don't have enough staff half the time to help each other out.

Strange GuiltyPleasures, I've never had to discuss the contents of a prisoners letter, regardless of how pornographic it is, and I've seen some mind bogglers. Makeshift dildo from a deo bottle anyone? We've barely got time to read any letters when dicked to work in the post room, unless the prisoner is on the security list.

I asked a potential employee what was his favourite product we sell and he couldn't name one. I could ask any person around the world and he could name it, but not him.

shadypines

I would say we work in the same office, but my boss doesn’t work Fridays.
Always on their fucking phone and then complains they have sooooo much to do!!!

Made non-committal and neutral sympathetic mmmmhhmm noises at the local crazy psycho man court-bothering character, while he told me in greater detail that I needed about taking his neighbours to court for attempted murder. He's also started court proceedings - unsuccesfully - against the Army, the merchant navy, the local police, our local MP, the local council and the private housing company that he rents from.
I only wanted 20p off him for his photocopying.

Diagnosed a sheep with salmonella and watched my colleague do naff all while i did all the Friday cleaning

I've made an Elizabethan style headdress.
I've also argued with a man about his tummy. He wanted to look Victorian but wears his trousers under his waistline.
He refused to accept his waist is bigger than he thinks and that he needs high waisted trousers and braces to look authentic.

This argument happens with someone at least once a week. Men and their tummies. Every time.

Mawkishtwaddle - Ah brilliant news. Cuteness though at a sleeping hedgehog.

Hedswigradio - hope you're ok after last week. sent you some virtual staffroom cake and lukewarm coffee. Hope next week is a bit better for you

Eeyore her cuteness is off the scale. A little albino hedgie.

Diagnosed a dog with a pyometra, admitted and operated. Not bad for a day on call.

@Ifangyow sorry just picked up on this. Yes an OSG picked it up on random mail monitoring for a different reason, but I'm a Probation OS & it was offence paralleling/related behaviour & raised loads of safeguarding issues, hence why it needed discussion