I love drinking wine and I can't stop - help!

[ThisCoolBean]

I'd got into a bad habit of drinking wine every night to relax. It was creeping up to a bottle a night which is obviously ridiculous. So I started Dry January and did really well, managed up to Day 20, but then had some prosecco at a friend's birthday lunch (not a lot at all as I was going to be driving in the evening) and it's like the flood gates have opened. Since then I've been drinking cava and g and ts that have been sitting in the drinks cabinet left over from Christmas.

I'm so annoyed at myself. I was doing so well on the Dry January, went out to dinner with a friend and didn't drink, I was starting to have loads more energy and I'd started to sleep better (had insomnia at first), was losing weight. But now I've gone and ruined it and I've realised that I just love drinking wine. I never get too drunk, or argumentative or fall down or make a tit of myself, I just feel nice and relaxed.

It's so hard to balance the positives of not drinking when I don't really see the negatives (though I know they can't be seen, e.g. the damage to my liver and increased cancer risk etc).

How do I get back on the wagon and stop drinking when i love wine so much? I feel like I've done my stint of dry jan, it wasn't all that and i'll take the wine thanks. But I need to stop as it's obviously not great to drink every day. which is where I end up.

Does anyone have any advice?

I think one or two glasses is okay of a night time is it not? I think as long as you can stop when you want too without getting down about it then I think it's okay if you feel you can't stop or break the habit then I don't know what to suggest, but from what I've read of your original post it seems fine

OP, it's great that you've recognised your alcohol consumption was starting to get out of control and that you reached day 20 of January alcohol free!

Please don't beat yourself up about falling off the wagon - it happens to the best of us. Look at it this way - you've still had 20 days alcohol free this year already, and it's only 25th Jan!

The key thing is that you take back control again now and continue on with your good habits. Do you have a specific target that you'd like to achieve - a certain amount of alcohol-free days per week for example, or a certain number of units you'd be happy drinking per week?

In recent years my drinking habits escalated to around a bottle of wine a night - in other words, 70 units per week. It's quite frightening when you consider the government's recommended units is just 14 per week.

This year I've decided I really do need to make a drastic change, as my drinking was completely out of control. I'm now doing four nights a week alcohol free, but am struggling to drink a sensible amount on the other three nights and I'm still on about 35 units a week. It's a work in progress.

Ah Ok maybe I'm just worrying myself for nothing then. I was going to have a dry day today (having a Becks Blue at the moment), but I've got to start my tax return once the kids are in bed and it's a Friday so I'm thinking a glass or two of wine sounds like the way forward.

I'm so scared of thinking I don't have a problem when I actually do, but maybe I'm fine. DH is on board to cut down as well, we've both been saying we should be dry during the week and only drink at weekends which is sensible.

Is there no other way you can relax? Drinking every night, even a glass or two, is not good for you, however much you might want it to be ok. It increases your risk of liver disease and breast cancer (and others), as well as adding non nutritious calories into your diet.

Have you seen the Adrian Chiles BBC documentary on drinking? Maybe worth a watch.

Maybe use an app which counts your units so you know you’re not under estimating things.

If this is an issue, please don’t kid yourself it isn’t.

I’m going to disagree with anita and I say that as someone in a very similar situation.

Drinking a bottle a night is too much- you know it, (I know it) hence why you tried dry January and you felt noticeable benefits from not drinking.

It’s difficult sometimes to see that there is an issue when there is still an element of control and it’s a treat that makes the day a bit nicer- but the fact that you felt better from not drinking shows that there are effects and at the moment you are justifying the feel better now feeling by having excuses (ie. doing the taxes, or it’s friday etc).

I’ve downloaded the drinkless app that I saw someone mention on here and I’m having a really good go at setting goals and having dry days more often than drinking days consistently and not falling back to my old friend cava at the first sign of needing a pick me up.

Here to talk if you want, or pm me if you want to chat with someone in the same boat!

I'd got to that stage a few years ago. Could easily drink a bottle a night. Crept up to 1.5 at weekends. I saw an imagine comparing an alcohol free brain with one from a person who drank 100 units a week. Shocked me. I cut back to 2 bottles a week to start. Half a bottle 4 nights. Then to 1 bottle, so half a bottle Friday and Saturday. Bought on the day as I've no willpower.

Well you did a bit of Dry January and it was all that, becuase you were sleeping well and losing weight and full of energy.

Alcohol is a poison. I drink, and I have a battle with it too (same thing, lovely glass or two of wine after a long day) but we have to face facts that alcohol is a poison which makes every single disease going more likely. Cancer, stroke, all the big ones. It also messes up our concentration and mood and weight - well, you know all that.

I have cut down to drinking a couple of drinks twice a week and am thinking about it a lot in terms of questioning my relationship to it and our society’s toxic bullshit money-grubbing relationship to it, and am moving towards drinking even less. The fact is we don’t need it. The best bit of it lasts ten minutes - the anticipation and then the first few gulps. It’s not worth it just for that.

I use moderation apps to account for how much I’m drinking and it’s really helped.

I think it’s really wise to start asking questions about alcohol. There’s a great online site called The Temper about sobriety, and I like the Home podcasts.

place marking

i tried to do dry jan but failed miserably. that said, i am diabetic and just awaiting confirmation and a gp appt.
im also awaiting the blood sugar diet book which will be 8 weeks at 800 calories so my alcohol will HAVE to be significantly reduced.

it is however my one and only vice. i dont spend money. i dont buy expensive clothes or shoes. i dont smoke. i dont eat sweets or cakes or biscuits or much food at all really.
its the one thing i look forward to - a couple of glasses of wine but it can creep up and i can if i allow myself drink a bottle.

i watched drinkers like me recently with adrian chiles. i suffer the same dilemma as him. cut back or give up totally? i really appreciated the honesty of that programme.

I managed to stop using the book Jason Vale kick the drink easily. Life really is better without alcohol but its so bloody hard to quit. I'd thoroughly recommend it. Even after all this time I still get tempted but the thought of feeling like crap in the morning stops me.

I do need to cut back. If anything I need to lose weight. Im so good at convincing myself that the risks are low (e.g. low incidence of cancer in my family - but everyone else is teetotal hmmm). I’m going to watch the Adrian Chiles programme (once I’ve made a start on the taxes!)

Atrocious that’s what’s so annoying. I was doing so well on the dry jan, could go out socially for a meal and not drink, it didn’t bother me when DH drank of an evening. But one shifter of Prosecco at a birthday lunch and I’m back for being a booze hound. Despite seeing benefits, I’m back loving the wine.

Maybe I can’t do moderation. But that idea makes me sad.

I mean a snifter not shifter.

my problem is i can put a bottle down my neck and no hangover in the morning.

i dont get hangovers.

i do however have diabetes and reflux which should be enough to stop me really. oh and the other halfs disapproving stare if i go for that third glass. (on third glass now.... exited living room to avoid row)

A glass or two of wine every night is too much - @anitagreen probably meant well with her post, but it's not true, it's badly minimising.

You sound like you have a problem with alcohol. You can't stop drinking it once you start. You're gaining enough of a tolerance that you don't get drunk, but feel relaxed and happy. Which means you will soon start looking forward to your next drink more often, and that's not a good path to be on.

I like wine too. If it was healthy to drink it every night, I'd probably enjoy it a lot. But it's not, and you know it's affecting you because you felt better when you were doing dry January.

It could be worth seeing your GP for help? Or there are good books and hypnotherapies, I believe. But the thing that might help the post is throwing away the alcohol in your house, and purposefully not buying it. You can't be tempted by something you don't have.

Goggle 'Grey Area Drinking'...it's the kind of drinking that isn't 'rock bottom' or obviously life ruinous, but teetering on the brink of danger. If you are drinking a bottle of wine a night, you know that's too much. If it's they only way you can relax...if withdrawal gave you insomnia at the beginning etc.

I was EXACTLY the same kind of drinker as you until 9 months ago (not preg!) I had done dry Jan and come back swinging as soon as I picked up again. But at the start of May I just decided to stop completely. I haven't had a drink since. And here are the ways in which my life is the better for it:

• Sleep is amazing
• I'm a more 'present' parent
• I look ten years younger
• I've lost nearly two stone without any concerted effort or change in diet/exercise
• rosacea all but gone
• depression and anxiety barely noticeable
• No more period pain
• No more joint pain
• Long and strong nails for the first time ever
• Long and short term memory/focus and attention amazing for the first time since I left school

Books that helped me in the early days

• The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober- Catherine Grey

-This Naked Mind - Annie Grace

• The Sober Revolution

I had to cut it out completely as I cannot moderate. If there is alcohol in my system then I will crave more. I never drank in the morning, never drank cheap booze, didn't drink and drive/get arrested/hospitalised etc but I did have a serious problem with alcohol.
A bottle of wine a night IS a serious problem.
It is progressive as your tolerance grows.

If you can't moderate, it's hard - you either only buy a small amount on the day you're going to drink it, or you just don't drink.

I used to drink like you, but I'm one of those lucky people who can moderate. Life is much better with only a little booze.

Could you try having certain nights each week that you don't drink at all, and moderate drinking on the others?

This works for me as otherwise I would have a glass or two every night, which is too much. Having 3 or 4 nights week with no booze helps keep a lid on the total amount.

FWIW I once gave up completely for Lent and I didn't feel any different at all. Wasn't sure whether to be relieved or disappointed.

I’m so glad I started this thread. Lots to think about. I decided that I’m going to start dry jan until the end. Have had two Becks Blues tonight, had a nice dinner and am in bed. Tax return will be started tomorrow with a clear head.

I definitely need to change my habits and thinking around alcohol.

People who don't have a problem with alcohol don't spend their time thinking about whether they have a problem with alcohol.

my approach is a bit different, for me it tomorrow. At this moment I think I'll pop over to Lidl tomorrow and buy a couple of coke can sized cider cans. For a little relaxing drink after 9pm.

Now today I could have gone and done it, or I could pop out to one of the skanky 24hr offfies right now, but na I'm too beat up after a week at work.

So tomorrow I might just it go fuck it,I'm too tired and the 30 mini walk to Lidl, meh! too much. And another dry evening.

For me I see it as too much sodding effort. Carrying a couple of bottles or an 8 pack from the carpark in the shopping, fuck that too much like hard work.

I suppose I could wander over to the boozer, but it's full of cocky little tosspots being to noisy and bullshitting one another. Alternatively, I could arrange to meet a Nate for a pint during our dog walks, but he's too unreliable and it's not my usual route.

So there you have it sobriety, through fucking laziness, plus I'm zombied after two points anyway - total lightweight.

You could try that OP , it's a different take on the way people do it There are asking a couple of other reasons too but I won't bother you with them