I scared of my new house

[HouseyMcHouseFace]

Please talk some sense into me. I’m normally a very rational, non-woo person.

I recently moved into my dream house. I’ve always dreamed of living in a period property and I now live in an absolutely gorgeous medieval farm house. It’s even got a secret passageway!

But dh works away Monday-Friday and I’ve so far spent the evenings sitting in my dc’s bedroom after they fall asleep. The first night I was on my own I lit a fire and snuggled up and watched a film which turned out to be quite scary. Then a branch banged into the window, I complete crapped myself and ran up to dc’s bedroom and didn’t come out until morning.

This week I’ve even felt on edge during the day when I’m in the house. There’s lots of creaks and odd noises and I just can’t relax.

I know there’s no such thing as ghosts. So why am I being such a tit? I can’t possibly tell dh - I spent years convincing him how happy I’d be living in an old house 🤦‍♀️.

Has anyone else managed to overcome their fear of living in the house they’d always alwanted to live in.

I live in a very old farm house (300 years plus in oldest part according to local historians who did a survey on it). I absolutely love living with the history and am never afraid despite the creaks and groans. The previous owners told me that when they bought the house 20 years ago the lady they bought from handed them the keys and said "I hope you like ghosts" before zooming off in her car without a backward glance . I have no problem being here alone at night but my partner hates it and has been known to sleep downstairs with the light on if I'm away .

Talk to the spirits of the house. Explain who you are and why you are there. Say you won’t trouble them and trust they won’t trouble you. Say a prayer if that’s your thing. I usually do this before buying to give them chance to object, but have done it on moving in. I wedge the doors open first, in case anything really creepy happens.

It's just the new noises of the house that you aren't used to.

We've lived in our house since March 2018 and I will still say to DH "what's that noise?" When the heating is coming on and radiators click.

I was also once in the house alone as DH had gone out for the night and (a good 3 hours after he'd left) heard a clatter. We have cats, but they looked as confused as me, so I checked every room, phone in 1 hand, hairspray in the other...
Turns out he'd opened the window in the downstairs loo and hadn't told me - it was the blinds moving with the wind.
I was more concerned that I could have gone to bed without knowing it was open (and text him telling him he was a dick!)

Just try to relax and get used to the noises of your dream home

The secret passageway goes from the front room to halfway down the garden. It’s a trap door that I’ve already had to put a sofa over it as dc we’re taking turns locking each other in there.

Thank you for talking some sense into me. I was stupid watching scary stuff on tv. It was the new Sabrina series, which I thought would be sort of lighthearted Buffy style stuff, but I actually found terrifying.

Luckily dh will be home in a few hours which will hopefully make it less scary. As far as he’s concerned I love this house and it’s the best decision we’ve ever made because he told me he thought I’d find it creepy and never be able to relax here.

Is it in the country, OP? If so I'd be scared too. Which is ridiculous, as I live happily in a stabbing infested zone of East London, but if you're used to having neighbours it can be odd to suddenly just have the dark outside.

grandmajane what if the spirits answer back? 🙀

Although there isn't any such thing as a ghost, that's difficult to believe if you are feeling spooked.

Have you tried turning it around. Think about the spirit of the house as something warm and protective. Think of the branch knocking on the window after you were scared by the film as that being the house's way of reminding you that it's there to protect you.

Try walking round the house when it 's getting late and running your hands over the wall and saying "I love you" to the house, and feeling the love back from it. You're now a part of house's history and protected by it.

(it all sounds terribly woo :D , but that's why I've never been afraid of walking around my house when it's dark. I always imagine places and "ghosts" are on my side.)

You'll get used to it.

My house is full of creaks, knocks and the wind whistles though the windows. It's one of the quirks of an old house.

Try to relax and enjoy your new home.

You have more to fear from the living. Wonder what the secret passage way was for? Can you get out into the garden at the other end?

I live in a very old farmhouse that's full of creaks and noises. Especially when the house 'settles' at night.

But we do 'have' a ghost, if you believe in that sort of thing. He's the original owner and completely harmless. We've lived here over 20 years now with nary a 'malevolent' event.

You'll get used to this, my normally very sensible friend developed the same issue, she decided her house was haunted because the unknown noises freaked her out.

Really it was just the house settling, wood expands and contracts, the heating system makes noises as it heats up or cools down. She's fine now but took her a few months.

I live in a four hundred year old listed building, but I've never felt this way, even though I hear noises like the stairs creaking when I'm in bed, it's just the wood contracting.

You'll be fine, you just need to stop thinking about thr woo stuff and logically tell yourself what it is.

I'd make sure there are no animals lodging in your home for free.

housey - they haven’t as yet (40yrs+). But that’s why the doors are wedged. One peep out of they buggers and I’m out of there!

You need a dog.

Your alternative to giving me your lovely farmhouse is to say hello, give them names and a back story.

That tapping on the window is Sidney, an 11 year old boy from 1916 who used to do that to make his sister Phyllis jump.

That cold patch you've walked through or has settled over you? Kitty, the maid from 1595 who adored the children and couldn't get over her boyfriend's betrayal to the authorities when she worked for a secretly Catholic family.

The secret passageway was for the family to hide in to hold their masses, singing a mass written by William Byrd that was so dangerous, he published it without disclosing his name or the publisher - and was the first time that a mass had been written with females singing the top two parts in mind.

The family survived persecution and the scratching noise is George, the pet squirrel one of the children's great grandchildren kept when it fell out of its nest, still looking for the acorns it was sure were just under there.

And that warm patch? That's Silas, the pigman. He would nip in to the kitchen for a chat and to warm his toes by the range whilst the boss was at market. And flirt with the Missus. He always liked sitting in that corner.

I grew up in a Tudor farmhouse. Shit the life out of me as a child, I spent most of my childhood life convinced I was living with ghosts. (Maybe I was, I will never know) but as I got older it got better

In reality, it really was just an old, creaky house, that moved in the wind!

Be so careful what you say around your kids. I heard strange noises when I first moved into my house. I phoned my best friend and she just laughed and said "At least if you have a ghost, you're not drinking alone".
Unfortunately, my kids overheard and ever since then they've "heard strange noises" and had to sleep in my bed 🤔

Do not get a cat. They randomly stare into space with big eyes and then randomly run.

It's because your house is old it will expand and contract with temperature.

Ghosts don't just happen in old houses.
Our house is 1960's. For a long time I have heard footsteps on the landing to the point my dog looked scared the other day and looked with sad eyes.
I have also seen an old lady walk from the bathroom, to my dd's bedroom I obviously haven't mentioned this to dd but it was flipping scary just out of the blue.

Little boy ghosts scare the absolute bejesus out of me. Closely followed by little girl ghosts then old man ghosts.

Technically I've never seen a ghost so I shouldn't really believe in them but I just do!!

There's not a chance I'd ever live in a really old house.

Sorry OP, I've been the opposite of helpful!

Lovely stories @MitziK

You will get used to it! That’s my mantra for most things, and I’ve hated everywhere I’ve lived for the first few months because I’m not good with change, and have always loved the place more each time than the one before.

I agree with those that have said get a dog. Don't get a cat they will freak you out.

@DragginBallsEEEE

Just give them the 'Mum Look' - 'yes, that's enough now, it's time for bed' [creeeeeaaaakkkkk] 'Now stop being silly, we're going to sleep now and we'll see you in the morning. And no playing with the cat, he needs his sleep , thank you very much'.

Completely woo-free zone here.

[ignores OH pointing out that I always flick any salt left on my fingers from cooking over my left shoulder without thinking about it and will swear on oath that he's seen me silently ask trees and bushes whether it's OK to take some fruit - and wait for an answer]

just as well he hasn't heard me say hello to the ghost cat. I'd have been burned at the stake by his ancestors, what with them being from the arse end of civilisation; Dartmoor

This is pretty funny sorry!

You need to put your non-woo pants on and remember ghosts don't exist and old houses creak.

And you are very lucky to have your house. Watch a comedy instead