Are temper tantrums normal?

[username58483]

DD 20 months has started having 'temper tantrums'. I decide to discuss it with a couple of mum friends hoping for some constructive advise. Only to be told their children didn't have these tantrums.
They didn't say it as bluntly as this and were trying to say it in a nice way. But I felt like they were implying the tantrums were my fault they said maybe DD is too use to getting what she wants.
They also gave an example of a recent incident where at soft play I went to the toilet and they watched DD for me. I was only gone a couple of minutes but DD had noticed and gone hysterical. They told me that wasn't normal.
Is this correct? I always thought temper tantrums where a normal part of being a toddler. Really questioning myself right now. Would also love some advice on dealing with them.

It really depends on the child but it is completly normal for most children. Dd1 only had about 5 tantrums but would scream for an hour, dd2 has more but they are very short lived and over in about 30 seconds.

Not all children tantrum but most do. If you give in they tantrum more so it’s worth holding firm.

Not being able to see your Mum at 20 months old is pretty distressing and normal. Didn’t they pick her up and say “Mums in the loo let’s go find her”?

Did you tell your DD you were mopping to the loo and who to go to? If not worth doing that next time

“mummy’s going for a wee, Jane will look after you”

Mopping? popping!

Nah, they are normal. DS1 and DS2 didn’t tantrum. DD3, parented exactly the same way could go from cute to screaming stamping thrashing thing from another planet in moments. And she had stamina- could go for hours.

She was and is completely normal, and is now a “model pupil” at school lol. It’s great your mates don’t have tantrumming kids. Yet.

Ds1 didn't have them and I considered myself the exception to the rule rather than assuming I was an epic parent . My ds2 has them.

DD1 didn’t tantrum. DD2 did. Same upbringing; different personalities.

They also gave an example of a recent incident where at soft play I went to the toilet and they watched DD for me. I was only gone a couple of minutes but DD had noticed and gone hysterical. They told me that wasn't normal.
Is this correct? I always thought temper tantrums where a normal part of being a toddler.

That’s not a tantrum. That sounds like separation anxiety which is completely normal and expected in a toddler.

My ds didn't temper tantrum but my god can he sulk! No crying and screaming but lots of dramatically throwing himself to the ground in a right strop, lying face down and refusing to get back up, and generally being difficult.

Often in public.

His friends little sister can temper tantrum with the best of them. Their mum came to mine the other day and I took a toy of ds's off her that would have been dangerous.

Tried the whole distract with something else thing, but no. She was doing the banana and wailing at the top of her lungs because I wouldn't let her chew the mecano. She got over it pretty quickly though and was happily playing with the my little pony a few minutes later.

She's two.

Tantrums are perfectly normal. If they can be consoled it's a tantrum. If they can't it could be a meltdown which is not normal.

The example you give is seperation anxiety and perfectly normal at that age.

Your friends are dicks. They believe that it's all down to their superior parenting.

I'm firm - always have been. My 4 yr old has always been hard work.

They are either lying or have been lucky so far... rare is the child that doesn't present some kind of challenging phase at some point...

Separation anxiety is normal in young children. Talking them through what will happen can help. It's a phase. Some children can struggle with the transition point of going into school.

Tantrums are normal too and most children will mature out of them around 2-3 as their communication skills improve.

their kids dont have tantrums? LIES. My LO is 18months, they arent awful and Im able to distract her when I sense one starting- that wont last forever Im under no illusions.

Toddlers kick off, not down to parenting, but the frustration of being unable to communicate at such a young age

Absolutely normal. DS2 has his first a week after his first birthday. He stopped having them when he was about 8.