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Moving from a big busy area to a little village - anyone else? I need reality check please

25 replies

DitzyPrints · 25/01/2019 09:44

We moved to our current village couple years it’s huge over 10000 on the census now so not really a ‘village’ at all.
Dd year 1 at school she loves it but school results are terrible.
We could afford to move in a years time and looking at villages much further out - with little village schools in the countryside.
I crave a little community feel but not sure if we’d be isolated- we do have lots of friends where we are not plus disrupting dd?
Has anyone done it what were the pros and cons?

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HollyBollyBooBoo · 25/01/2019 09:51

Lived in villages all my life until 7 years ago.

Very pretty, good dog walking.

No shops, had to drive 7 miles to get anything which dove me mad after a while.

Strangely no sense of community, after 8 years of living in last village we were still considered newbies!

School too small. Mixed years, few facilities, had to walk to village hall to have PE.

Much prefer a small town. Much better community spirit, made some great friends, bigger school so more opportunities for DD. Can pop into small local town and get everything I need easily.

dangermouseisace · 25/01/2019 09:53

I moved city- village- small town.

I found the village very isolating. Having to go on a 5 mile round trip to get an onion or some milk was a PITA. Beautiful though.

We moved to a small town and this has been much better especially as the children have got older. I don’t have to drive them everywhere as most things are walking distance and there is also transport. The children have some independence, which is great. I’d dread to think how much driving around I’d have to do if we still lived in the village.

poundoflard · 25/01/2019 09:58

I moved from a town to a rural area.

Like HOLLY had to drive over 10 mile round trip to get anything as no local shops.
Good local school tho kids had friends who lived miles away. ended up being a taxi. And for secondary the whole year 6 ended up being dispersed and all went to different schools in the area.

All clubs like swimming, sports, cubs, ballet were all in the local town. So the kids spent most of the time too-ing and fro-ing in a car.

Also I was a SAHM and the isolation and loneliness was mind numbing.

I left :)

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Seniorschoolmum · 25/01/2019 10:02

I’m in a little hamlet with about 70 houses.

The down sides are there are fewer people for you and your dcs to choose friends from. And everyone gets to know a lot more about you. 5 miles to nearest takeaway, gym, supermarket, doctor, vet. Hardly any taxis or public transport. You need to drive teenagers everywhere unless they cycle. Potholes. No gas. Poor internet.

The upsides here are lovely primary school -in next village - has 120 children across 7 years. Not much traffic. Peaceful, Friends and family like visiting for Sunday lunch. Open fields, woods, walks, bigger garden.

I love it. My ds grumbles about the WiFi.

DitzyPrints · 25/01/2019 10:09

Mixed years yes just been reading the ofsted reports for a couple of villages and hadn’t anticipated that- the school’s seem tiny! There’s 64 kids over 2 classes where dd is now whereas the villages are on average 80 kids in the whole school!
That’s a plus and minus I suppose!

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anxiousmumma2 · 25/01/2019 10:18

Not so much a little village or a big town really. But I moved from Derby to a smaller town outside of Derby. I would never move back now. I absolutely love it here, I love it being peaceful.

Seniorschoolmum · 25/01/2019 10:38

On the school size, it’s harder to hide bullying in a very small school so, at least here, it gets dealt with sooner.
But by year 6, dcs are definitely ready to meet more people and have a wider friend group

Dowser · 25/01/2019 10:55

My friend is very rural. You can’t even call it a village. Just big houses and farms scattered along the narrow road that is their main road.
It’s beautiful. You can see for miles across the countryside but would drive me bonkers.
So no pub, no shop, there is a church. Five miles to the nearest market town which is lovely.
45 minutes to the nearest hospital..45 minutes along windy roads to cinema.
I love to visit but I do like the facilities of my home town.

DitzyPrints · 25/01/2019 14:36

We would be 5-10 drive to a market town centre with supermarkets, gym etc and 25 mins to city centre.
I just feel it would be nicer for the kids to grow up in a village setting but I may be naive. I think the crime activity is lot lower, and antisocial behaviour.
We have no space around us all the houses are tightly packed in where I am to be able to look out onto you garden and nothing at the back of you is a dream!

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DitzyPrints · 25/01/2019 17:52

Bump

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PenguinPandas · 25/01/2019 17:57

Moved from city to a village and love it. About 4,000 population I think. School rated outstanding. Supermarket is about 4 doors down. Very friendly been invited to 3 parties this month by new people. Kids love it. Very safe. Would only do if shop and school walking distance. Downside is employment opportunities.

MeetOnTheledge · 25/01/2019 18:01

We moved to a village with a tiny school when I was about 8 (50 pupil primary). It was really hard fitting in, friendships were already firmly established, most of the children had known each other all their lives, their parents all knew each other. The school had no facilities, dinners were bussed in, and eaten in classrooms, we had to use the village hall 1/2 a mile away for PE. It was a huge relief to leave and go to secondary school.

mustdrinkwaternotwine · 25/01/2019 18:04

I haven't done it but have a couple of friends who live in such places and I hate the sound of it. Her DC are the same age as mine.
My two are at a 2 form entry primary with (and I appreciate this is chance) pretty even boy/girl split. Classes mixed up every other year so even now 9yo DD is making new friends with people she hasn't been in a class with whilst having the security of those she has known for years. She's bright but not an outlier as there are two or three other equally bright D.C. in the year group. She loves sport and loves games sessions as there are plenty for team games. You don't get that if there are 60 across the school!
School is within a ten minute walk along pavements with streetlights. Brownies, gymnastics, ballet & other activities take place at school in the evening. A small school/village won't support those activities. You may have to walk down a muddy footpath in the dark to get there. You're less likely to take it in turns to do lift (or walk) shares as there are fewer children of the same age so won't be doing the same activities. If taking DD to/from an activity, I just about always have at least one other child with me but, on the flip side, very rarely have to do drop off and pick up as someone will return the favour.
DD is just beginning to walk to friends houses around the corner as I feel she will be safe on a pavement and there are plenty of neighbours to see/hear her if there is a problem. Friend lives on a quiet road but when a car does go along they can race along and you just get to stand by the hedge.
And I love the village shop being a two min drive or ten min walk away.

bigbluebus · 25/01/2019 18:04

I live in a village with around 2000 people (spread over quite a wide area though). Village primary has circa 170 on role (was 230 when my DS went there 12 years ago) with single form entry. Village has 2 shops, post office, small swing park, village hall, sport club with a bar (no pubs in the village now) an hourly bus service in the daytime and a railway station if you want to walk the 1 mile out of the village. There are multiple children's football teams, rainbows, brownies, guides, cubs and scouts and a youth club run by one of the churches. It is 5 miles from the nearest towns (one in each direction) and these towns are where the secondary schools and supermarkets are. I think those facilities would be my bare minimum to be honest. DH has lived much more rurally whereas I've previously lived on the edge of towns/cities.

DS was fine when living here as he could walk to friends locally or catch the bus/train when older. However, since living in a city at Uni he thinks it is boring in a village and isn't keen to come back.

3out · 25/01/2019 18:05

We’re in a small village, at a guess there’s under 500 people. There’s a shop, hairdressers, post office, pub, church, community hall and school. The ‘big’ shop is 7 miles away, so, 7 and a half minutes in the car. The kids like going to a small school.
If you are self employed and work from home, make sure to look into broadband speeds before you move.

FaFoutis · 25/01/2019 18:08

I moved from a city to a very small town. Pros are that the town has all the schools for the surrounding villages, pubs, shops, cafes etc. It's safe for the children to wander about.
Cons are that the people are all very much the same and I don't fit in with most of them. They are mainly wealthy right-wing types, not many women work.
I'm here for the children. When they are grown I will move.

DeathyMcDeathStarFace · 25/01/2019 18:17

We went from a town of over 20,000 to a village of about 80 houses. Talking to a resident who had lived there for over twenty years and she said she still felt like an outsider! We got to know a lot of people because of dh's job and were welcomed, but still outsiders after 4 years.

We found the countryside rather insular, if you weren't a native you were treated differently/with suspicion etc. Where we were there is still now a bit more racism than other places and even the town we are in in the same area can be racist.

Apart from a part-time shop in a nearby village our closest shops were 6 miles away, so if you forget something it's an extra trip to town or you wait until next on-line delivery or next scheduled visit to shops.

Our local school was in a village in the opposite direction so couldn't combine village shop visit with school drop off. School had about 56 children when we moved, over three classes with mixed classes. Only qualified for PP for one pupil an relied heavily on parents, locals, benefactors etc for extra funding. There was a lot of meddling from donators and parents and the heads job was more politician than head teacher/teacher.

Our village had no street lights or footpaths, and many drivers weren't careful. A friend with a new baby in a pram was nearly knocked over by someone going too fast, not far from the entrance to her own home. There can be a 'take it or leave it' attitude to legal matters too, it's unlikely you'll be found out so let's be relaxed about the law, depending on which area you're in.

Despite all this i loved where we lived, gorgeous place. You adapt to how you need to live. Massive freezer full of bread, milk, meat, veg, etc. Plan shopping trips around children going to friends etc (there is a lot if driving).

If you go to a tiny village you need to really want to go, research well and be prepared to fill your petrol tank up regularly. (And avoid the SW!)

Skyejuly · 25/01/2019 18:22

Tiny village here.

30ish in the primary and the teens get a free bus 30min away to a larger town secondary.

No gas is annoying and awful pothole roads. WiFi is slow and my car gets filthy.

Pheasants and tractors on the roads all the time!

I love it though. So pretty and a real community.

PenguinPandas · 25/01/2019 18:25

We are lucky here and have primary and secondary schools, doctors, supermarket, cafes, bakers, Chinese, fish and chips, pubs, tennis courts, jewellers, hairdressers, river with ducks, green, playground, gym and even a zoo. School has after school activities every night plus army and air cadets in village and youth club. Evening classes for adults. Having everything in village makes a difference. Quite a few village events. Also very beautiful.

Lucisky · 25/01/2019 19:08

We moved from a small market town to a small village, population about 1000. I love it here, but then I like peace and quiet. If you didn't drive though you'd be stuffed because there is virtually no public transport. 20 mile round trip to big supermarket, so we have 2 freezers kept well stocked. Loads to do if you like outside stuff, like tennis, sailing, riding, etc.lots of village stuff going on, like fairs, fetes and things, and a very active and social community. Best thing is a decent pub within walking distance, an essential in my view!

Lampshadylady · 25/01/2019 19:58

Cons are that the people are all very much the same and I don't fit in with most of them. They are mainly wealthy right-wing types, not many women work.
I'm here for the children. When they are grown I will move.

@fafoutis I wouldn’t find that kind of atmosphere beneficial for my children though - they’ll grow up absorbing those views. It’s why I’m always refusing to move to near my mum and dad where it’s cheaper and greener than here. But so right wing and small minded

PurpleAndTurquoise · 25/01/2019 20:08

Beware of small schools. It's often difficult for kids to find a friend as there just aren't many to choose from. Small schools are ok for very outgoing kids but shy ones struggle. If there is a troublemaker in the class they can't really be diluted by sheer numbers so any bad behaviour can adversely affect the other children.
They often keep the same teacher for 2 years if they combine year groups do you have to hope the teachers are good.
My children have had horrible experiences at a small school - as you can perhaps tell! It has done a lot of damage to their self esteem.
Bigger is definitely better when it comes to schools.

DitzyPrints · 25/01/2019 20:14

My ds would be starting in foundation he’s quite quiet so starting with everyone else would be good for him.
Dd is very outgoing and will play with anyone she doesn’t have a set friends where she is now, although a lot of her peers seem to have a ‘best’ friend she’s happy to play different people. So she might find it a bit boring less variety but hopefully she’ll make stronger friendships?

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CherryPavlova · 25/01/2019 20:16

43 people in our village. About 110 in next village across where most facilities are - primary school, shop and pub.

Far from having nothing to do there is probably more going on and it’s more sociable. Our children grew up locally from when youngest was 4. They love it and many village peers are like cousins. We don’t necessarily separate by generations and if youngsters are home they are included in activities too.
We have book clubs, film club, tennis league, lunch club, wine tasting twice a year, Safari supper, picnics, bonfire night, Spanish evening and Octoberfest. A few other social events too. There’s cubs and a sort of youth club plus tennis for youngsters and swimming.
Lots of supper and drinks parties. We do go into town for cinema, theatre etc but no shortage of local things to do. Isolation isn’t the problem - lack of privacy might be more of an issue.

FaFoutis · 26/01/2019 19:44

@fafoutis I wouldn’t find that kind of atmosphere beneficial for my children though - they’ll grow up absorbing those views
I agree Lampshady, and worry about it. I probably overdo it with the left-wing feminism they get at home, but it's working so far.
I think any choice you make - city / town/ village - is a compromise in some way.

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