Those who've had counselling or psychotherapy

[heresto2019]

Did it help to talk about the worst moments or incidents? Maybe a time when you were a victim of a serious crime? I feel like I need to do it, but I don't know what I want to achieve exactly- it's like I'm stuck with it in my head but if I get it out there I'll be so vulnerable and I don't have a way to measure What it might achieve

I'm not sure I'm explaining myself very well

There was stuff that I felt scared or ashamed to share with my therapist. When I did, I always felt better afterwards. She was able to accept whatever I said without judgement and that was incredibly healing

Have just started psychotherapy-well have had three sessions.
It’s very challenging and I have spent a lot of time crying! It’s going to take me quite a while I think to get my sense of self back but it’s got to be better than where I am now.

So I would say to go for it-acknowledgement that you have issues is the first step. Good luck x

I had counselling two years ago , a close family member had died suddenly in tragic circumstances, a couple of years before, because of the unusual circumstances there was a police investigation and court case , for me it really helped because I needed to talk through the events because I couldn't move on, and it helped having someone impartial listening to me .

No, I didn't find going over things very helpful at all, didn't change anything or make me feel any better. Only thing that's worked for me is dealing with my thoughts & feelings using self help Cognitive behavioural therapy

I had therapy because I had intrusive thoughts and memories. One would start up then another ect. I revisited these memories with the therapist. I learnt that revisiting these memories was a form of self harm and also trying to make sense of these events. It helped me make peace with them. If it ever happens now I stop them in there tracks a remind myself it's finished it's there's nothing new or different there. It was really scary sharing these things with someone but the outside input helped. It was hard but worth it

Dealing with a trauma that you can't move past usually needs professional help... because of the way the brain processes traumatic events. It was amazing for me. It wasn't like indulging in woe-is-self-pity, it was like putting it to bed and not being overwhelmed by the memories. I did have a clinical psychologist though.

emdr might be what you’re looking for. apparently it’s really effective

I recommend finding an experienced therapist who specifically deals with trauma, somatic experiencing is very effective. The traditional talking therapies alone can make trauma worse.

I’ve had years of various treatments from a psychiatrist, psychologist, psychiatric nurse and an NHS counsellor.

I’d love to say that one or any of them was helpful.

But no, not really.

There's no one size fits all. If you feel you need to talk about it to help you process it then by all means do that with a counsellor. They will be able to quickly see whether that is helping you to heal or keeping the wound open and will guide you accordingly.

Talking about trauma in a therapeutic relationship is (ime) very different from talking about it in another context. It can be really hard work (because it is!) but if you trust your therapist it can be extraordinarily healing. I would recommend finding someone who specialises in trauma, and someone you trust. Shop around until you find the right person.

I also think that there have been times in my life when I couldn’t have had therapy because it was all still too present.

I agree that counselling or psychotherapy will likely not be helpful for trauma.

Yes, in the long term. I found it made things seem much much worse before they got better (revisiting memories I’d tried to block out).

I went for a 6 week course of psychotherapy and ended up going for 20 weeks. The first few were just awful, and I only saw light at the end of the tunnel by about week 18.

I had CBT for trauma (a specific type of CBT) and it definitely helped. I went from constant flashbacks/nightmares/intrusive thoughts about the trauma to barely even thinking about it these days.

I'm currently receiving psychotherapy for childhood traumas. Some of them I recall as though it happened yesterday, others I buried and didn't even remember them until they were triggered decades later.
I'm the sort of person who wants to sort everything out independently, but no amount of googling or reading up on things can move me on like I need to, this psychotherapy is pointing out (what now seems) the obvious to me but I didn't spot it myself. So its helpful that way.

The only thing I would say is that I think psychotherapy is harder than counselling, which is probably more touchy feely. There a place for that, but you might need something like EMDR as well, but more importantly look for someone who mentioned your particular problem on their list of specialities.

I am pretty persuaded that if a person buries it, it will come and bite them in the butt later on. Unless a trauma is dealt with properly it will affect how you interact with, or react to other people, often without you even being aware of it (bitter voice of experience here). So its worth a go.

@mynameiscalypso can I just ask, following on from what you said, did you have to wait a whole week sitting on the intrusive thoughts and flashbacks you had, or did they give you more frequent appointments to help get you through the acute stage?

@Moominfan how interesting you were stopped in your tracks like that. What sort of therapist did you see, if you don't mind me asking? I don't want to open any of your old wounds, but I've found revisiting old events has revealed a few additional bits of information I had forgotten, which makes it even harder to put down. I think seeing the additional fragments were like pieces of a puzzle and it helped me feel like I wasn't making it all up - something I feared people would assume.

@AwakeTree I just had weekly appointments (although I paid privately so I imagine I could have had more frequent appointments if I wanted). I had to record some of the sessions with me talking about the trauma on my phone and then I had to listen to them a couple of times a day in between sessions.

I had a brief spate of psychotherapy... six weeks. It was amazing and my self esteem was so much higher just after that period. Talking about stuff did help in that I was encouraged to explore other ways of viewing my past that took away a lot of guilt.

Wow, mynameiscalypso that sounds pretty brutal! But I can see how that's a kind of ongoing therapy between sessions, like some sort of adversity therapy to desensitise the memories. I can imagine would be tough to go through but worth it in the end.

*adverse

I had similar 'homework' for trauma therapy. It was fucking awful but she basically got me on board to do it, if you see what I mean. I trusted her totally and was prepared to go through a (very) bad patch to get better. Mine was a bit complex, though, not like I had a lovely family background and then an unfortunate accident.

Been in therapy for 3 months. I had a highly abusive childhood. My therapist says I don't have to talk about my abuse at all. I don't plan to rush it.

I am pretty much back to normal after the therapy btw. I don't enjoy putting myself in situations where I am reminded of the trauma but I don't have flashbacks or anything anymore. I can cope with reminders and everyday life much more normally now. The anniversary doesn't bother me. Etc. It worked.

@AwakeTree It was pretty intense but the priority was to deal with the trauma as quickly as possible because it was having a massive impact on my day to day life. It didn't take as long as I expected though.