Positive stories of you splitting up involving kids

[SoConfused2019]

Ive been with my dp for 18 years but I think we've come to the end of us. He has suffered mental health problems for the past 3 years and refuses to take medication for it, Ive put up with an awful lot in that time and in the past 3 months have now been accused of having an affair - a particular low point was him walking in on me after a shower - I had removed my very itchy bra and scratched my own back, he saw these marks and jumped to the conclusion id had someone else in the house.

he refuses to believe he is sick and thinks meditation will help with everything. We have a 6 year old son who is a bright confident child and when ive brought up the topic of splitting up with dp he goes straight back to our child, saying how it will destroy him, knock his confidence cmpletely and ill be responsible. Those 2 are always at loggerheads and I think dp jumps to angry mode far too often.

I have this vision of me and ds in our own little rented house somewhere living in peace, playing together and generally just have a stress free life. right now when dp walks in the room my anxiety levels flare ups nd hes making me slightly ill with his random thoughts.

Im doubting myself constantly thinking am I doing the right thing? so any positive stories would really help me out right now. thanks

Not so much me but my mum and dad....
Although they weren’t married they were together for 18 years (since they were 13) they split when I was 11 just starting high school. They still stayed friends and my dad even moved back in (stayed on the sofa) for a period of time a few y3ars later. He eventually got with someone else (his now wife) and they have 3 kids together and he’s raised her eldest boy from age 7. My mum even got on with her but she is really nice and I have no issues. I think it depends on each person, mentality and what you both want out of life. I’m 30 now, I live with my mum but see my dad 4 times a year but that’s only because he lives 200 miles away.

I think my kids seem to have survived the first year since ex and I split relatively ok. Totally wish it would have worked out differently and It hasn't been easy for them. It was a fairly amicable split and we agreed 50:50 from the outset. We also did something called bird nesting- so kids stay in the family home and we move in and out ie he is in the house with the kids half the week and then leaves and I am in the house. Was never intended to be a long term solution and we are now looking to have 2 separate households with the kids moving between but I really believe that this arrangement, whilst certainly not the easiest for us, has totally helped them have less to deal with. We also do still occasionally do things all together and we still discuss and agree rules together so there is consistency. I know this wouldn't work for many but both kids (6 & 10 when we split), I think, have managed better than they would have otherwise.

I could have written something very similar.
We have been living in our rental for 6
Months now, and I can honestly say it’s been the best 6 months for years.
Love my house, love my healty mind, love the no stress no drama.
Dc’s find it hard, can mess me about a bit, however I can deal with this and have a positive outlook. They were angry with me at one point although they wouldn’t admit that.
My only regret is I should have done it years ago

But they seem on the surface to be ok

My parents and stepparents split up loads - i wasnt a fan, but i'm not 'destroyed' either!

Mine were very young when we splits (almost 4) and dd2 wasn't even born yet. My eldest has coped very well though which I think is mainly down to the fact we have both put the kids above everything else .
If a child is living in an environment like you describe I can imagine that being away from it would be better for them.

My parents split when I was a kid and to be honest, it was almost a relief for me. No more atmosphere in the house, no more arguing, stress or crying.