Parents of 3 children. Tips please.

[user1466690252]

Hello! I am (surprise) pregnant with dc3 dc 1 and 2 are 7 and 3. I have a few months to get organised and I’m wondering what I need and what helped the most.
Financially and space wise we are fine. We have a qashqaui so will I need a bigger car?
I still use a pram for dc2 if we go out for the day as he bolts and gets tired walking far, do I need a double?
What things are really helpful? What was the hardest parts?
Thanks in advance

I wouldn't bother with a double pushchair but a sling would be good so when older dc is in the pushchair baby can go in the sling.

At first we made do with the 5 seater car. All car seats fit fine but we did eventually change to a 7 seater because it helped to be able to separate them when they were squabbling.

Hotel rooms were the one thing that I found a pain going from 2-3 as most family rooms are only for 2 adults and 2 kids but I found you can add a cot to a family room. Even when ds was bigger we still just asked for the cot and then folded it down and had one of the dc in with us or they shared a bed.

Wean number 2 onto a wrist strap or little life back pack. Invest in a buggy board (2nd hand, pick up on local selling pages).

No idea re changing cars. Maybe a trip to Halfords or similar to measure up/get advice?

I’m only 2 weeks into having three (older 2 are 5 and 3) so can only be limited help.
I’m pretty sure a qashqai doesn’t fit 3 car seats across the back, unless you bought a multimac system. We spent hours and hours researching cars that would fit our 3 in!
My 3 year old hasn’t used a pushchair for a long time so we haven’t got a double, but have bought a buggy board for when she inevitably whinges about being tired on the last monster hill to pre school!
So far the hardest part for me is getting us all ready and out the house for the school/pre school run at 8.20am every morning. I can manage the children (both dress themselves etc) but getting myself ready is the tricky bit!

Thank you. What sling would you recommend? I had one of those cloth wrap around things on my second and I didn’t get on with it as I have to get it on myself and struggled with that, it never felt secure enough to be hands free, I think a clippy one would be better? He is ok on the reins just sooo bloody slow so a buggy board could help speed things up a bit. Thank you everyone

@soydora what car do you have? Dc1, 7, could go I the front in his high back couldn’t he? It’s not ideal I know but initially and when its just me doing the school run and clubs etc? Or is this against the law?

Congratulations Soy aswell, sorry a bit overwhelmed still

I'd say get a bigger car if you can afford it. It's not just fitting the kids in - it's all their stuff too like the buggy and any scooters etc or more bags. Travel cot and luggage too for trips away. Also if you need space for any other children it's always handy to have more seats.

I have a 7 seater and whilst it seemed extravagant at the time I've never looked back!!

P.s. congrats. I love my busy life with the chaos of 3 children....it's exhausting but really wonderful!!

We are looking to get a bigger car next year if we can manage it. We have just started a. Extension on the house then this little surprise 😂 but it’s bit beyond the realms of possibility if it’s essential. What cars do you recommend?

Yes dc7 in the front on school run, can still swish on the back weekends and when husband is in car. I only have 3 bedrooms and so my two eldest shared while baby was in a cot in the box room. One problem for me was the two eldest staying still while I got baby out of car and into pram so they petrol cap (back lights on my new car) became a “touchy spot” and I say “touch the touchy spot” every time we get out of the car and I know they won’t be messing about near roads x

We went for a Ford S Max in the end. Not the most attractive car but very spacious!
Yes legally he can go in the front in a HBB.
We’ve got an Ergobaby sling, haven’t used it too much yet but it’s easy to put on and baby seems comfy in it (with the newborn insert).
Ps thank you, and congratulations on your pregnancy!

Your car is fine, wouldn’t bother with a double pram because to make one work with a newborn and toddler you need an expensive bugaboo/I candy type and it isn’t worth it if your toddler mostly walks fine. I would just invest in some reins.

Routine will become your best friend. Once you find a solid routine, life feels much easier. I had my fourth 12 weeks ago and now we’re into the swing of things it’s much easier.

Thank you eveyone. The eldest is pretty reliable to be fair and we are already working on getting them more independent in preparation. I’m planning on filling the chest freezer with batch cooking and working on the 3yr old staying in their bed, coz they are a hideous sleeper.
I’ll look into buggy boards and a good sling for now. Start researching the car for next year and see how we go. Thank you

Your 2yo will be 3yo or nearly 3yo by the time the baby arrives, I wouldn't bother with a double pushchair as you won't get the use out of it before he/she is off to nursery/preschool. Get a single pushchair suitable for a newborn and buy a buggy board and some reins for your 2yo. Reins when they're walking then buggy board when they're tired or you're somewhere where you need them contained (keep a caribiner clip on the buggy frame so you can fasten the reins to the pushchair for when you need to be hands free).

Try get up earlier than the DC, even just 20 minutes earlier. It gives you time to get dressed or have some breakfast or a cup of tea or a shower in peace before the day starts.

For week days get uniforms ready the night before, pack up the changing bag, and put the schoolbags on the bottom of the pushchair. Ten minutes on an evening is ten minutes saved the following morning.

Get the DC to read their school reading books to you when you're feeding the baby.

Stagger bedtimes so that you're only dealing with one at a time and everyone gets some one to one attention. I have half hour intervals between each DC's bedtime, starting with the youngest I put one child at a time to bed, read a story, have a chat and a giggle. While I'm putting one to bed, the next is putting on their PJs and brushing their teeth.

Work on some skills now with your older two before the baby arrives, if you haven't already. Simple things like being able to get dressed and put their shoes on, even with verbal help (e.g., "okay, socks next") will be a big help when you've got the baby to see to on a morning. Don't bother washing and dressing the baby before school, just do a fresh nappy and then wash and dress properly once you get home after drop off.

Ford SMax I love it.
I used to keep some books in my fave feeding spot so every time I sat down to feed the baby the toddler got a story, took away some of the jealousy about wanting mummies time. Train baby to nap on school run (no joke). Let go on some standards! Try and be relaxed, have a plan, make lists. Get a big fuck off notice board for the gazillion letters from nursery etc
Divide and conquer! ie no matter how much your husband does of childcare now, he will need to do more. Especially with the older one!

A close caboo is a good first sling. It's similar to a stretchy but it's already made up for you.

Car wise we have a Volvo XC90 (did loads of research) - because it was designed as a 7 seater (as opposed to 5 seater chassis with seats added as an extra in some models) it has loads of boot space even with all 7 seats in use. Highly recommend!

Yeah reins and buggy board for the toddler - at three, closer to four when baby arrives they won’t want to be in a buggy and should be a bit more biddable!

We got a zafira for our brood, the extra space is great.

Sorry those ages if my children will be the ages they are when this one is born. So just 3 and 7 and a bit. But I hear what your saying about a double and won’t bother

That Volvo looks amazing!! I’ll show dh when the shock of the loss of the sporty saloon he was getting this year wears off

Oh I see.

My twins turned three about two months after my third baby was born. I did still use a double buggy for them as they recently started pre-school and still napped in the afternoons - but as you’ll only have one it should be fine. Get a single buggy suitable for the toddler and baby (I had a convertible one that could be made flat into a carry cot or into a seat - can’t remember the name but it was about £250) and a sling for the baby if toddler gets tired. Defo get a buggy board they’re great.

If you are looking for a cheap buggy that can suit both I like the McLaren techno xt. Can do from birth. It's very light which is good when you are pushing one, carrying the other and have stuff.

I liked my stretchy tie on sling (Hana bamboo) as I could tie it on and leave it on. I have a clippy sling for when they are bigger that does the same, but they don't make it anymore - beko butterfly 2. I also loved my coat that could go round baby in a sling. Great for the school run. No faffing with snow suits!

Re cars, when we had our third it was time for us to get a new car anyway. We thought about how long we expected it to last and how big the kids would be then. So we went massive and got the SEAT Alhambra. I don't regret it. I love the space. Not as attractive externally as others we looked at but great car.

Yy to routine. Helps everyone know where they stand. I prefer a joint bedtime to staggered, so they bath pretty much together or one in bath, one getting dressed sort of thing, then stories together in one big bed, then everyone off to bed. Same in the morning really, we seem to do everything en masse as a rabble. As far as possible I have a system for everything, e.g. dry laundry sorted into individual baskets so can find things easily, plus older one can put away own laundry.

I find DH and I have to tag team a lot more. This is how I manage to get a shower and get dressed.

It is busy and messy and chaotic but I love the energy when we are all together. It's a mission getting out of the house though.

Also have the Ford SMax. Has 3 equal size seats in the back (rather than the slightly smaller middle one) plus the 2 in the boot or a really huge boot that fits scooters, buggies, school bags etc! My 3 are 8, 6 and 2. Congratulations OP and good luck!!!

The middle seat of a qashqai doesn't hold a car seat so you will definitely need a bigger car (or have one person travel by other means). We swapped to a vw sharan.
The exact 7 seater you need will vary based on how often you use your car. For more occasional use or short journeys a smaller 7 seater with citroen grand Picasso might work.
If you use the car a lot and/or need lots of boot space then maybe a bigger one like volvo xc90 or audi q7.
Middle options are Ford smax or seat alhambra.
They all vary in terms of comfort/size of the seats in the boot and total car size which impacts parking etc.

I have 3. Routine is everything!

I also agree with getting up/showered/face on before they get up. Everything seems so much more manageable if you are ready and presentable.

Do a little bit of cleaning everyday and a load of washing a day. If you don't it piles up to an overwhelming state.

If you can afford it, have a takeaway one night a week or eat out. The rest of the week just do simple dinners and get a slow cooker if you haven't already got one.

Honestly it isn't as bad as people will tell you - I found the 1-2 transition far worse!!

Hardest parts would be getting a baby sitter, my kids have "special requirements" so tend to get two babysitters and split the kids up on the rare occasion we go out.

My husband works away a lot so when the toddler has been sick through the night the cosleeping baby hasn't been keen and there is still school/nursery runs always needing done regardless of the baby has slept well or not.

You've don't it twice before so the baby stage will be a doddle, you really just need to be prepared with stuff for your other kids.

Routines help me so not just the breakfast by 9, lunch at 11:30, snack after school and dinner at 6 and everyone ready for bed 7:30/8

But also when I'm about to feed ds3, DS2 has playdoh, pens, I pad or something that he enjoys. Cartoons for ds3, he's tube fed and I need him distracted. Ds1 keeps himself entertained.

Cooking (I don't know how hygienic this is) but while the kids are eating snacks at half three I set out all my ingredients, marinate, chop so when I come to cook when DH has finished work it's so quick and easy. Or slow cook in the mornings.

Looking clothes out the night before, meal planning and online food shopping always seemed like things ultra prepared people did unnecessarily to me but actual lifesavers now. As are slings (Hana for a tiny one and Tula for when they are bigger) reigns for the toddler and fresh air every day.