Holidays - If you're single and don't want to go alone, do you just never get to go on holiday?

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Feeling a bit down tonight as everyone I know seems to be planning holidays and I have no plans. Didn't go away at all last year and really missed it but don't have anyone to go with.

When we were both single I used to go with my best friend but she's now married and has a baby, my sister is single but never has any money and all my other friends are married with children and understandably want to use their annual leave to go on holiday with them.

I've looked into the organised trips you can do but they seem much more expensive than putting it together yourself would be and can't really afford the ones I would want to do.

I know a lot of people enjoy solo holidays but i'm just not sure I would, I'm not very socially confident and don't find it easy to strike up conversation with strangers so imagine I could spend an entire week not talking to anyone. I am ok with my own company but spend enough time alone normally anyway I think this may drive me a bit mad.

Not really sure what i'm asking as realise I'm talking myself out of the options available but just feeling a bit grumpy and sorry for myself. Anyone else find themselves in the same situation?

Organised trips are great! I went on my own with Intrepid Travel and thoroughly enjoyed it.

A few of my friends have been on organised trips and had a great time - though they picked destinations where there was plenty to do and see a wide range of group excursions to go on rather than beach destinations.

Travel buddying is another option - there are a few websites dedicated to this as well as some Meetup groups, but you’d really have to be prepared to take the plunge and be prepared to make the best of things if you and your buddy weren’t entirely compatible.

Unfortunately I think that if you’re convinced you won’t enjoy travelling alone and aren’t sure about something organised, your options are pretty limited.

I love travelling alone and I wouldn’t say I’m particularly extroverted. I find it really much easier to strike up conversations with people when I’m away. I often go to a bar for a drink, get chatting to a local and then manage to get myself asked to join their friends at their table. I also like to run and cycle on holiday, which are excellent ways to get chatting to people who share that. It’s not as isolating as you might think, travelling alone.

Have you asked your married and parent friends?
They might be very excited by a few days of adult time without their children?

I go camping 10 miles away from my home😂 and have a really lovely time just me and my dog. I love being out of the house, and if i'm not enjoying it or don't feel safe I can easily pack up and go home. I'm an introvert and have social anxiety and would never go on holiday with someone else, I love the freedom of my own decisions.

What about going on your own and a few organised day trips from your location? I did this last year - went to Poland, Latvia and Lithuania and did a couple of day trips and a walking tour. It was easy to chat to people in a small group and also other people who were travelling on their own.

www.spiceuk.com/?AspxAutoDetectCookieSupport=1

Spice are a social group for single people. My DH was in a similar position to you before we met and went on holiday with them. He went on a boat/ walking holiday where he shared a cabin with and everyone in the group socialised together.

What about an activity holiday where you learn a new skill, painting, drama, photography, a language?

Yep, single, don't go on holiday now. I've tried the holidays on my own thing and just not for me. I want to share going somewhere with someone and have someone I know to talk to over dinner.

And you're right, a lot of those "group solos holidays" are very expensive, often more expensive than doing it solo and paying a single supplement and the last thing I want to do is spend a lot of money to spend a week or two with a load of people I don't know and often have to share a bedroom with.

Spending a lot of money on sharing a bedroom with a stranger!! I'd need a holiday to get over that!
I love my own company Op but yes it can feel odd on your own surrounded by other people on holiday, a sort of detached feeling.

Could you see if your married with children friends might be interested in a shorter city break type trip - they might be delighted to get away for 3 nights to be a grown-up again etc.

I did quite a few of them with friends when dc was smaller

Got to admit I'm not fussed about going away myself. But I think you need to think through what's really the issue. To be honest, you don't need to speak to a soul when you're away, if you don't want to. If you take a book / kindle with you to a bar / restaurant, and sit away from a crowd, most folk will take that as a sign you don't fancy company ..... conversely, I've sat at a bar or at group seating and had plenty conversations.

I've been single more than in relationships, so I've decided that if I want to see the world / relax by a pool under a hot sun / climb a remote mountain then I am going to take the lead in organising that - sometime it'll be alone, others not.

The other half/half option is to travel to somewhere you have friends / family and use that as your base ..... I have one friend who stays in US city which isn't an obvious holiday destination but I'll stay with him for say the weekends over a fortnight then Monday - Friday do road trips or fly to Mexico / Caribbean / Florida for the beach holiday. Best of both worlds in that I see the friend, get a holiday but not myself for too long.

I used to solo travel before I met dh and I loved it. I don’t strike up conversations with strangers either.
It was bliss being able to pay into an attraction and leave if I didn’t like it instead of tagging round waiting on a companion.
Or go back and see the same thing two or three times if I wanted
Or nap in the middle of the day if I wanted and not worry about wasting the holiday.
I could read and read and read as much as I wanted.

The hardest part for me was eating alone. Restaurants keep a special table for loners jammed into corners, or beside the loo, or beside the cutlery storage so they have to keep leaning over you . I learned that it was best to eat off-peak, and even better to eat on park benches.

There’s so much stimulation and entertainment on a holiday that I wouldn’t really miss company.

The one thing I miss in married life is solo traveling, but not enough to give up time with dh and the dc.

Organised group trips are incredible for solo travellers if you can get the money together (G Adventures has a sale on atm, and I've heard good things about Intrepid). Paying for a solo room is a pain but the trips themselves take you to amazing places, and in my experience everyone goes for dinner and evenings out together. Really sociable way to travel and a great way to make new friends all over the world (who you can hopefully go and stay with on your next solo adventure!).

Take the plunge if you can. I'd recommend that over travelling completely alone if you're not one for striking up conversations with strangers – it's easy to feel overwhelmed somewhere new and hide in your hotel/apartment/whatever.

What about asking your married friends? The wife might fancy a weekend away. Ask the ones who you know can afford it.

I am married but go away for weekends/weeks with single friends a couple of times a year.

I just had my first solo holiday to Tunisia. I missed out on my usual summer holiday as I was single so I thought sod it, and just booked it online.
It was great, lovely safe place and I went on day trips, walks and I rode horses every day. It was a little lonely occasionally but I'd just get engrossed in my book or go for a walk when that happened.
I'm not at all social so prefer to be left alone - other solo people tend to drift to you so if you want a chat then I'm sure there'd be plenty of folks around. There was plenty to do in the hotel such as evening entertainment and sporty stuff during the day that didn't require being partnered up.

You should just go for it and enjoy yourself. I definitely don't regret booking it. Just be careful where you book as some places you really shouldn't go alone. Sometimes you just need to be out of your comfort zone and experience something different - I thought I'd be too scared to travel alone. A couple of months ago I travelled alone to Lapland but my partner gatecrashed it two days in! So last week's holiday was my first fully solo trip. Don't bother with the organised tours/singles holidays, they cost a bomb. Keep checking the prices online - mine was with Thomas Cook so didn't have to worry about transfers etc.

I agree that you should just ask your friends, I have a DH & DC but I much prefer my annual holiday with a girlfriend to ‘family holidays’.

Would this kind of thing be of interest?
www.hfholidays.co.uk/activities/walking/solos-walking-holidays/
It’s uk so easier if you’re not a confident traveller. I can vouch for HF being great, but of course not so good if you’re not outdoorsy.

If you're vaguely sporty Neilson and Mark Warner are great for singles. Activities are in groups and there are social tables at mealtimes.

Might not be for everyone but I've known a couple of single friends go on cruises alone. They've felt safe on board, have been able to get out and join the tours/trips when they've wanted to and most ships have a way for solo travellers to meet others for meals if they would like to.

One friend is a keen cyclist and specifically looks for ships/itineraries that include a cycle tour for a few hours at each port. She's met some lovely people but also enjoys having time to herself - all when it suits her.

I guess it depends what you like to do on holiday. I love sightseeing so go on solo trips to cities such as Rome and Athens where there are loads to see and do. I also stay in private rooms within a hostel so I can socialise in the common room but still have my own (basic) room. I know people who have done organised group holidays and enjoyed them but I couldn't keep to someone else's schedule.
I get that beach holidays are a bit different though and I'm lucky enough to still have single friends to go with . However, if you go to an inclusive resort you will get talking to others and there will be plenty activities on offer within the hotel x

I'm married but have travelled many time with single friends or on my own on tours, or with friends on tours.

I yearn for my days of yoga retreats or walking/cycling holidays and would love to do a cookery course in France or photography in somewhere picturesque or learning some kind of creative thing. My best friend has been on yoga trips and learned to weave in thailand and she's also done safari in an organised group.

You should definitely give travelling alone a try.

I always thought I'd hate it, having been in a job where I did a lot of solo travel and spent a lot of time in European cities and ended up just eating and staying in the hotel.

Turns out that travelling for yourself is completely different from travelling for work! Who knew?

Take yourself a weekender citybreak/holiday cottage in some mountains/beachside hotel (depending on preferences), do a little research (google 'top tourist destination') and see how it works out. Even if you end up not enjoying it much, at least you'll have broken the habit of not going and know that you'll have to enlist a buddy somehow.

Options

1. Pay for your sister to go with you
2. Book onto a group type holiday - especially if you like hiking, MTB, road biking, kayaking, cultural tours etc
3. Book to go visit friends who live in nice places
4. Organise group trips with other couples, families or singles
5. Be brave and ask about with friends, acquaintances and work colleges - lots of people are in the same boat! You might find a travel buddy.
6. Book solo and be brave. Can book things like a room in an airbnb quite cheaply to keep costs down (rather than whole apartment)