Most Ridiculous Injury you have ever had in your life?

[DionneB]

as we have had serious injury , what are some ridiculous injuries you have had in your life before?

i would say slipping on some ice outside Bargin Booze and not being able to walk properly for 3 days afterwards , not fun times.

My mum, on her first date with my dad. Went to the fair and decided to have a go on the helter-skelter. They got to the top and she managed to drop her mat and it slid down on its own. Feeling a bit silly and not wanting to draw her new beau’s attention to her clumsiness she said nothing and went down said helter-skelter on her bottom. She spent the remainder of their date trying to unstick her clothes from her weeping and raw rear end.

I grazed my ear and face by walking into a concrete lamppost when I was walking down the road reading a book. My pride was injured more though

The back of my leg somehow managed to stick to the varnished wooden chair I was sitting on and when I pulled it away I ripped a layer of skin off and it was red raw and bruised for weeks!
Oooh @ProfessorCustard, that must have hurt!

@thenightsky Tue 22-Jan-19 00:12:46

I once tore all the ligaments in my neck and across my shoulders just zipping up a tight pair of jeans.
What the heck! And I thought I was fragile! Zebra by chance?

Stuck the corner of a plastic document wallet into my eye and scratched the cornea, staggered about cursing, banged my head on the cab door, then fell over. I believe the CCTV is on YouTube.

Badly burnt my face with cup a soup. I had left the spoon in for the croutons, took a drink with the spoon still in and flipped almost boiling soup up my face.

Managed to wrench my neck quite badly struggling into a Lycra top. I was nearly sick from the pain. My mother had a neck brace and I had to use that at night to support it. I was only getting dressed ffs! I also used to suffer from terrible heavy periods and my mum bought those awful cheap sanitary pads that had no wings and were like mistresses. I leaked slightly at school on the inside leg of my knickers. As it dried in it made the material hard as knife, the scalloped fake lace became like a serrated blade. I walked home for 30 minutes in blazing sunshine with a ‘knife’ slicing my thigh. I still have a scar.

*likr mattresses

when I had 2 children under 2 and was basically a zombie I was making something with a handheld blender (I am completely ambidextrous)

the doorbell rang and I remember thinking I needed to taste the mixture, pick up the baby (who was randomly crawling on the floor), make sure the toddler wasn't toddling anywhere she shouldn't and then answer the door

The banging on the door got more intense so I put into action my list and stuck my finger in the mixture but without letting go of the handheld blender in the other hand and immediately blended my finger

needless to say the door never got answered

Today I got my hand trapped in the dashboard of my partner's car whilst attempting to close it. My hand still hurts seven hours later.

This is incredibly outing (as everyone and their dog now knows the story) but I managed to dislocate my knee at uni getting some broccoli out of the freezer while wearing very tight skinny jeans. I crouched down and when I tried to stand back up it just popped out!

Unfortunately for me I have a very pun-able name so I was stuck with some v embarrassing nicknames for the rest of my time there

I once twisted my ankle & told everyone I'd done it on a kerb but that's not even remotely true... DH & I fell off the bed.

Probably very outting but I fell over at the mums race at sports day was the most embarrassing thing ever. I hurt myself pretty badly, had the biggest gash on my elbow and knee. There is also video evidence of the incident which my dh likes to play every now and then.

2 good oones:

1. Staying in a remote cottage with some pinewood logs for fuel. I found a tool with a sharp triangular blade at one end of a 5' pole, and decided to use the butt end to bash to break a log up. Hit the back of my head with sharp end, nearly blacked outI was several miles from the nearest road, no visitors to the place for weeks nor electricity etc., so could have been badcouldn't brush hair for a while as scalp gashed.

1. Digging a hole in the garden to put a plant in, got my face in the way of the handle as I was pulling the spade up. Big black eye, which I was surprised no-one asked about.

In a frantic attempt to escape a killer moth.. I still don’t like the buggers.. I managed to skid dodging the cat and in the process break my tailbone and pinky toe while knocking a raiditor off the wall onto my leg and knocking myself out on the kitchen door.
Never again shall I live in a house with small windy halls or leave a window open at night. Also I was a 5ft tall 7stone girl... I’m not exactly built like a brick house but apparently I’m part bulldozer and that houses walls were mostly dust.

I tripped while walking into the work canteen. I reached out to steady myself on the doorframe, but the momentum meant that I swung, with my hand and arm acting as the fulcrum, through 90 degrees, and I slammed into the wall face first on the other side of the door. It was so painful, and I ended up with two black eyes, but, a canteen full of highly amused hairy arsed blokes meant that I made light of it at the time, although I just wanted to cry.

Does supergluing your tongue count?

I was caramalising sugar. Decided to give it a taste (I have a sweet tooth). Thank christ I didn't actually swallow any.

Why am I reading this thread?!!! Sitting here wincing at everyone’s pain!

Stepped off a curb wrong and broke my ankle.
Also went out in heels in the snow, fell over and smashed my face off the flore and broke my front teeth. That was an expensive night out!

I once got a swollen jaw joint on one side from giving DH a blowjob. It was very early on in the relationship so I was extremely keen
I couldn’t figure out what it was and thought maybe I was getting mumps again, even though I had had it when I was a teen.
Went to the GP and had a very awkward conversation when he said you don’t usually get mumps twice and asked if I had strained my jaw in any way, like by eating an apple... I went “yeaaaahhhh” and we sat in awkward silence for a few seconds with my face red as a beacon and his not much better. I can laugh about it now!

I broke two toes once when vacuuming my living room.

I climbed up onto the kitchen counter to get something down, misjudged my footing and crashed to the floor. Managed to get up and drove myself to the hospital (I always end up doing stuff alone, I drove to hospital in very active labour once!) and id badly hurt my knee. I had it strapped and had crutches for about 3 weeks, it was utter agony. I do not put things on top of cupboards anymore.

outs self
I was on a stage in a nightclub (on my way to the loo, not dancing) and managed to stand on a bottle of beer that had fallen over, slipped off the stage and landed badly in ridiculous shoes. Hobbled to the loo, then went back to meet dh and carried on dancing. Left shortly afterwards. Couldn't get a cab outside so walked (probably 1/4 mile) to the cab rank and went home.

Around 4am I woke up (sober..) and it hurt like buggery. Fractured.

(I always end up doing stuff alone, I drove to hospital in very active labour once!)

You self-sufficient types always impress me. My neighbour drove himself to hospital knowing full well he was having a heart attack! The maniac.