Is anyone's DH a firefighter?

[LorelaiGilmore1]

My DH has always wanted to join the fire service & they are opening up recruitment in March for whole time firefighters in our area. He really wants to apply but it'll be a big lifestyle change for us as he currently has a 9-5 job so working shifts etc will be all new for us.

I just wondered if anyone could tell me their experiences of their DH being in the fire service, what shifts are like etc? How do you manage family life around it? We have a 9 week old DD and i am currently on maternity leave but returning to work part time at the end of the year.

We have one in the family. Essentially he can't be called out of work so the mum has to do all pick ups if ill etc. The shifts can work really well, resulting in a couple of weeks off at a time.
They manage because the mum is a 9-5 worker (FT) so could make sure she's the 'reliable' one as such doing pick ups, drop offs. They don't seem to struggle,obviously there are times he misses out on stuff but that can't be helped. They aren't crazily busy people either, only 1 child who does only a couple of clubs outside of school

I know a family where he is a fire fighter and she is a police officer and they have 2 primary age DC. Fuck knows how they make that work.

My brother is a firefighter and the shifts have worked really well for them. He does 2 days day shift then 2 nights then is off 4 days so he's basically around 6 days at a time. They needed minimal child care when their children were young. My SIL works part time so he's always been there a large part of the time looking after them.

The shifts are a lot more family friendly than the Police ones i do

My DF was a firefighter for 30 years before he retired.

Day shifts were 9am-6pm, nights were 6pm-9am. 2 nights on, 2 days on, four off.

As a child, my dad was v involved in childcare, picked us up from school etc. Annual holidays were decided a year in advance as was Christmas Day etc. My DM did care work that fitted in with his hours. The firefighter community was very close, especially when there was a big (national news big) shout etc, lots of fun days, Christmas parties etc for the families. I am going back about 15 years since he retired, but a friend of mines husband is a retained firefighter and it sounds a similar set-up.

The shifts mentioned above are becoming a thing of the past unfortunately. DH is a firefighter and our county now do self rostering. So they work a random shift pattern. This week DH is only working Tuesday and Thursday. But then other weeks he might work Tuesday right through to Friday. It's done fairly so they all do the same amount of week days and weekends.

DH has been a ff as long as I've known him, so in terms of how does it affect us... we know no different. His station is 9am -7pm on station then 7pm - 9am at home on a pager. He has done shift before which we found harder as it wasn't local.

I find it frustrating sometimes because even if DH is around, I can't necessarily leave Dd with him and go out in case he gets called out. He loves it though and wouldn't have any other job. Feel free to pm me if you have any questions.

It fits pretty well with family life. DH was around for a lot of my maternity leave. I'm lucky I have a understanding boss though. As mentioned above, if DH is at work (barring a family emergency) he can't leave work to pick Dd up if she's ill etc. So that all falls to me. He sometimes has to cover shifts at short notice which can ruin plans. A long or a big job can prevent him from getting home as planned.

Thanks all, not sounding as bad as I expected so far! I think it’ll be him missing special occasions etc that’ll be harder.

My brother has missed very few special occassions tbh. If its a birthday hes either home til almost 6pm or back just after 6. His station help each other out so someone will maybe come in an hour or so early or work an extra hour etc & they can ask people on other watches to cover a whole shift and they just owe them one

Its really not impacted on things at all

Yes, mine is and I also work in the Service. If you want to know anything you are welcome to PM me. It works very well for us because we don't work on the same shift so we don't require much in the way of childcare and certainly none we have to pay for.

One thing to point out - literally hundreds sometimes thousands apply for wholetime roles and it often takes a number of attempts to get in, if at all. But good luck to him, it is a vocation not a job.

For you and your DH from West Mid Fire Service
mobile.twitter.com/WestMidsFire/status/1086274823850909696

Mine is. He has just had his 20 year service award and loves the job

Mine is.

He has been on both the original 2 days (9.30-8.30), 2 nights (8.30-9.30) & 4 days off rota but is currently on the 15 random shifts a month (8.30-8.30) rota plus nights after his days on call at home.

I work mon-wed very locally (a nessecity as I have to do all drop offs/pick ups etc when he is on shift) and we have a DS4 and a DD nearly 2.

It has its good and bad points.

Pros
Great that he is around more than most dad’s and we can do things on a whim on a Thursday for example if we are both off.
On his current shift pattern he can usually get the days off he needs for weddings, events etc.
He does love the job and the people he works with(not the bosses, my god do not get him started on the politics of the fire service, you will never escape!)

Bad points
I have no hobbies as I am on call when he is as he needs to leave as soon as he gets a shout which I find really annoying so no clubs, exercise classes etc.
Also his rota doesn’t get finalised until about a week before the month starts so we can’t make any long term plans to meet friends & family for weekends away which is also crap!
I spend a lot of weekends, Bank holidays & so I’m alone with two kids which is hard as I feel like we’re both missing out on ‘special times’
I’m pretty limited career wise as I need to be close to the kids childcare for all pick ups/drop offs and we live in a village that doesn’t have much opportunity for me.
The money is pretty pants considering how utterly exhausted my DH is most of the time and the fact he can be risking his life.

TBH, I wouldn’t be devasted if he left (a future possible option for us) and just had a 9-5 like everyone else. Maybe that isn’t what you want to hear.

Please feel free to message me for more info.

Also, my DH got into London on his first application, so it can happen if he is the right candidate. We live up north now hence the change in shift pattern. I much preferred 2 days, 2 nights, 4 off if he can get that your life will be much more organised. DH has been trying to get back on that up here since he moved 2 years ago, much better!

I think the above posts cover a lot of it, advantages is that they are around a lot for childcare and family (compared to a 9 to 5) but at the same time may not be at the times you wish they were (birthdays and Christmasses)...

It is difficult to have a 'regular' routine (DH does 2 days, 2 nights, 4 off) but personally, i enjoy having my own time to see friends etc without having to consider anyone else (plus it makes us make the most of our time together... i work 9 to 5 so some weeks we literally do a changeover in the evening / morning when he is on shift or if i work late, may not see him for a day or two).

I would also add in that the fire brigade is like an extended family. Marry one, you marry the watch 😁. Generally they also help each other out (moving house, car repairs, covering shifts to make that special occassion etc) and the watch (and partners) are close.

I think it is worth mentioning that this isn't the life for everyone. It can be an incredibly stressful, upsetting and not to mention dangerous job which can impact relationships (like any emergency service). My MIL was horrified when i said i didn't worry about DH going off to work (she clearly did worry and lots of partners do!!!). And although it doesn't happen very often, there are days where you will have to provide emotional (and sometimes physical) support after a bad day (physical injuries although are not an everyday thing, do happen). DH is fairly good at opening up and sharing his feelings, but not always. Shifts also play havoc with bodyclocks and moods 😂 .... and appetite (not suggesting anything here but 'some' people are a sodding nightmare on no sleep and refuse to go to bed!!!). You also get used to cooking dinners that can be kept warm (and checking the news when you know you need to be somewhere at a certain time!). You will need to accept that a 7pm shift finish does not mean that is when they skip off station if they are on a job (typically when you have plans!).

On a serious note... My DH has been in 10 years and loves it. If your DH is serious about joining, get him to look out for open days to get a taster and meet existing firefighters that can give some insight into the recruitment process. It is normally highly competitive (and our local service -
East Mids- has a 'positive discrimination' policy...read into that what you will) so any insight will stand him in good stead.

Good luck !