Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Do teens still get bullied for being swots/boffins?

27 replies

CharlieBrowns1987 · 21/01/2019 10:05

I went to a state secondary school in the late 90s/early 2000s and the attitude was that being clever, or a “boffin”, was the worst thing you could be and was a reason for bullying.

I was seen as a swot and bullied for it. I certainly wasn’t a Hermione Granger, throwing my hand up and doing the “pick me!” Every time the teacher asked a question. I was just quiet and got on with my work rather than pissing about.

MNers who have teens in state schools or who left school more recently than me, is this still a thing? Is the culture still that it’s shameful to be clever or interested in schoolwork?

OP posts:
Eve · 21/01/2019 10:07

Not in either of mine's experience.

Both at state schools who streamed for all classes and reward hard work and achievement at all levels.

Haworthia · 21/01/2019 10:10

I received the same treatment in the early to mid 90s. I used to be accused of being “boring” as well as a “boffin” by people who didn’t even know me. One highlight was someone telling me they assumed I was boring but they were surprised to find that I was actually alright to spend time with. No exaggeration, that kind of thing gave me an inferiority complex for years.

I went to a shitty school though, where not many of the kids cared about doing well. The A-C pass rate was about 24%.

It wouldn’t surprised me if this still happened in similar schools. I’d like to think that better schools just don’t have that culture.

TheWomanin12B · 21/01/2019 10:12

My son has recently moved schools and was put in a lower stream than he should have been. His experience was that the other kids were really impressed and supportive. It was a bit of a shock!

He's since moved to high streams and still found it to be OK. I guess it depends on the school ethos?

IHeartKingThistle · 21/01/2019 10:14

I started teaching in 2002 and it was terrible then. Happy to report, not so much now.

Titsywoo · 21/01/2019 10:18

DD never mentions it. Kids don't seem to get bullied for being overweight either which is good. Lots of bullying for being gay/transgender etc though.

Beechview · 21/01/2019 10:22

It depends on the school.
My niece left her school because she was always being called out for being a swot. She was actually really upset that no one wanted to learn and she was expected to join in with them. Thankfully, she’s happier at her new school.
My ds goes to a state school where it’s cool to be clever.

Gumbo · 21/01/2019 10:27

DS is freakishly intelligent; he's in high school and often says that even the 'cool kids' want to sit near him in class possibly because they think that he can help them with their answers .

He's certainly not bullied... although I'm not sure if the fact that he's also quite sporty has anything to do with that, as it might make him more 'accepted/acceptable'?

treaclesoda · 21/01/2019 10:34

I never experienced this at school because at my school being a high achiever was the holy grail. If you could be a straight A student, the captain of a sports team and the head girl/boy, and reasonably attractive, you were treated like a celebrity. Bullying was reserved for the people who were crap at sport.

My daughter is now at secondary school and it seems to be much the same.

PowerhouseOfTheCell · 21/01/2019 10:37

Left school in 2011, very rough area with a pass rate averaging about 30%. It was a mixed bag, but did once get threatened to have my head kicked in because I knew there were two Koreas Confused

RagingWhoreBag · 21/01/2019 10:43

My DCs are all very bright and have never been bullied for it.

DS1 has been intimidated and shouted at in the street and at school when he went through his Emo phase.

DS2 was bullied at primary school by some of the sporty kids (came home having peed himself more than once Sad and been held in a head lock etc) but not specifically for being brainy, just being ‘soft’, nice and a little overweight most likely. Since he’s grown taller he’s grown in confidence and not had any issues at secondary school. Bully has now moved on to shop lifting and will no doubt follow in his dads footsteps and end up in prison Sad

DD has had the kind of excluding behaviour from cliques that has resulted in her not wanting to go to school, but not outright bullying, sadly just something all girls seem to go through at some point. She made new friends and is now much happier not being part of the A team.

steppemum · 21/01/2019 10:45

I think this depends enormously on the school, and also on the families who go there.

We deliberately sent ds to a grammar school which is a train ride away. Out local school has a massive cohort of familes for whom education is not a top priority. I know because he was at primary school with them, and it was NOT cool to be clever, despite the best efforts of the school to combat that attitude.

At his grammar it is very cool to be clever and as the PP said, it was the holy grail.

But I also think that when I first went into (primary) teaching, in 1991, the ethos of education was very different. Then it was NOT considered good to praise the high acdemic achievers. The ethos was one of leveling the playing field. No child should be made to feel bad because they couldn't do well, by praising a child who does do well. The positive side of this was a very child centred and more creative education, which, at its best, was great.
The ethos of education now is one of results first, and right through schools at all levels, it is drilled into kids that they need to strive for high results. This has raised expectations and achievements of many, and it is now not such an issue to be clever (but see what I said about my ds' class) but it is at the cost of the more creative and child centred education

BertrandRussell · 21/01/2019 10:49

Possibly. Some kids are bullies. But sure as hell not as much as you get bullied if you’re considered “thick” or a “retard”

Glotalstopple · 21/01/2019 10:56

It depends entirely on the ethos of the school and the standards set by the head teacher ( as these things usually work from top down) and of course the general educational ethos of the country you are living in.

Not v helpful probably as my teen DD is in a state school abroad (continental Europe) . The state education system here is very rigorous, not very creative and one size fits all. Like most educational systems in W.Europe there are both good and bad things about it. One of the main differences though is that pupils do not automatically progress from one class to the next in September, you have to pass the end of year exams in order to do so! And in some of the more academic state schools (yes there are variations within the same system) perhaps only as many as 60% of the students get through which leaves 40% to re-sit the entire year or switch to a less academic school.

The result of the system above is that those who make it through to fourth/fifth and equiv of sixth form (sorry I am showing my age identifying the years with that outdated terminology) are looked up to, revered etc by all the other students and academic accomplishment is really valued. There is absolutely no bullying in the school - according to my DD anyway - and the older students are really liked and respected and tend to police and mentor the younger ones a bit.

Schmoobarb · 21/01/2019 10:58

I didn’t get bullied for it and neither does my son

RaskolnikovsGarret · 21/01/2019 11:15

I was teased. My children are not - it’s fortunately cool to be clever. Not uncool not to be clever though.

Lycanthropology · 21/01/2019 11:25

Cleverness was deemed OK at my large, quite good high school in the 80’s, but no problem at all in my older DCs very good Comp. My two DDs were very high achieving and had no problems; DS less so, but was teased for being “posh” (he’s really not!)

Punxsutawney · 21/01/2019 11:36

My Ds is at grammar school and unfortunately has been picked on because of academic achievements. We have had some serious issues with the school though so this doesn't surprise me.

Original poster
CharlieBrowns1987 · 21/01/2019 18:13

It sounds like it very much depends on the type of school then.

Haworthia it sounds like we went to very similar schools!

OP posts:
Idontmeanto · 21/01/2019 18:27

No, the swotty kids have loads of friends who want their help! (Result of dwindling numbers of TAs.) The ones who do get bullied are often the ones with poor social skills, (often asd.)

LikeACowsOpinion · 21/01/2019 18:30

Exactly the same when I was younger OP.

Funnily enough, my niece was commenting just the other day how in her school the brighter students are 'popular' and the ones that struggle are picked on (unless they're good at a sport; in that case? Worthy of worship.)

She attends a standard state school.

BertrandRussell · 21/01/2019 18:34

At my dd’s high achieving girl’s school, being clever was fine- being seen to work wasn’t. You had to convey the impression that it all came easily. The hard workers tended to be the bottom of the pile....

NotUmbongoUnchained · 21/01/2019 18:41

I was an Asian mathlete so you can guess 😂

These days, the new generation seem to be all vegany, feminist, slightly soft and woke. I like it, it’s all peace and harmony among the teens I know.

RomaineCalm · 22/01/2019 20:49

I was picked on/bullied for being a swot. This was the 80's and being clever in a Northern comprehensive was not at all cool. Looking back, being different in any way was a problem and most kids tried very hard not to stand out.

It's the opposite in DC's school. It definitely seen as a positive if you're bright, there is healthy competition to do well and hard work is recognised.

BobbinThreadbare123 · 22/01/2019 20:55

I was also at school in the 90s/v early 2000s and I was picked on relentlessly for being a swot. It was extremely tiresome and it ruined school for me. But, rough-ish comp in Liverpool so the cool kids were those who did the nicking, drugs or had a direct line to Elizabeth Duke of Argos!

Lostmychristmasspirit · 22/01/2019 20:58

I went to high school in the mid 90s and yes it was certainly not cool to be clever. I was bullied from the age of 4 for being clever, chubby and non sporty and it carried on into high school.

I see the bitches who bullied me now praising their own children for being clever etc on social media.