Not at all sure how to handle uni situation

[Friendupset]

I’ve got myself in a complete mess and I’m so embarrassed . I’ve had a bit of a nervous breakdown .

I’ve had a fair bit of time off - two days last week and last week was first back after Christmas , partly because I had recently changed anti depressant and facing horrendous side effects and also because I was struggling with a very heavy period (ie 10-15 pads a day).

I’ve ended up now coming down with a UTI (not usual for me) and I’m passing blood and can’t stop shivering this morning . I know I need to see a GP bit I’m reluctant ro rake yet another day off .

Im also supposed to be handing an essay today that had an extension but I was physically unable to do it .

Uni offered me six months out and I declined but I’m now half wishing I just said yes , as much as my family would be so angry and disappointed in me . I don’t know what to do for the best .

Just deal with the immediate sitiation first, if you're passing blood then you need to see a doctor.

As the pp said, deal with your immediate health needs first. Then take time to work out what you want and what works best for you- it sounds like you are burdened with the expectations of your uni and your family. Think about your own needs and go from there. Good luck.

YY, see a doctor.

If you're able to email someone to explain you have an acute medical problem, do that asap.

Your family shouldn't be angry with you! You may still be able to take some time out, so once you've sorted the immediate medical issue, maybe see if you can arrange a meeting with your tutor to discuss it.

Please, please see your GP. Untreated UTIs have serious implications.

I managed to see a GP at OOH on Monday night - no obvious infection , gave me augmentin which just made me incredibly sick . Still not quite right but haven’t managed to see a GP since .

In terms of uni , I saw my tutor last night for a good 45 mins or so , that did help a lot and we have agreed to taking a year out - so I restart from January 2020 . Relieved but gutted at the same time .

Oh, you poor love.

I am so glad you've got a concrete decision from the university. I can see it would be gutting but also think it sounds like the right thing. I do hope you soon feel better - and if you don't, go back to the GP!

Oap I had a year out from uni and it was the best thing I could have done. Please don’t feel ashamed or worried.

OP not Oap!

It does feel like the right thing ... I was right re family they are furious with me - my mum and dad understand (divorced) but other family don’t get it at all . There’s a lot of other issues but they’re very unhappy . I tried to explain that I was/am suicidal and they didn’t really understand that either .

I was right re family they are furious with me - my mum and dad understand (divorced) but other family don’t get it at all . There’s a lot of other issues but they’re very unhappy.

Those that mind don't matter, those that matter don't mind. Really, who are these other relatives? Nobodies. Look after yourself, and do the right thing for you.

Hey OP. I've been in a very similar situation to you, ie going to uni/not coping/taking time out and not having family understand. If you want to talk to someone who's been/is there about anything feel free to PM me or message here.

Take it from one who was in the same position many years ago...you're absolutely doing the wisest thing possible.

You need to take time out, retrench, forget about other people's expectations.

Use the chance to think about what you really want to do, find some work, enjoy life away from the exam/essay assembly line.

Twelve months is nothing in the great scheme of things but it will help you get your head together.

January always reminds me of my attempt to go back to uni having had a MH crisis in the Autumn term (can still remember the exact date I left) I couldn't settle that soon after bailing but I did go back the next October and started Second Year all over.
Don't regret my year out one little bit..it helped me mature and when I returned I knew I really did want to be there and make a go of it.

A year really isn't that long...make the most of it...use it well...and get well!
all the best

Like PPs, I took a year out after struggling at uni and it was the best decision. Not only academically (I came away in the end with a first class degree) but also socially, emotionally and everything. I was so much more confident the second time. Really put myself out there and met both my best friend and my husband.

My family weren’t happy and they didn’t understand but I proved them wrong and they got over it

It really sounds like this is the best decision for you. Well done on taking that step because I know it’s a difficult decision. Trust that you’ve made the right choice and everything will work out in the end