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Advice on wether to study and work or remain a sahm?

4 replies

PinkyU · 20/01/2019 18:42

I’ve been a SAHM since my middle lo was born 9 years ago, we now also have a 6 year old who has complex ASN which will likely mean lifelong care and supervision needed.

Last year I decided to return to study when dd3 finally went FT at school, I’m 5 months into a year long course. I am loving learning and being in an adult environment but it is extremely difficult managing appointments, meetings, missed days and early pickups due to dd3’s needs. OH has been accommodated at work to allow family friendly hours to pick up the lo’s after school as dd3 isn’t able to attend after school as there’s none that can meet her needs, but this has meant a reduction in hours/salary.

So I now has options open to me to either continue studying to degree level (4 years), continue studying to HNC level (1 year), leave to apply for jobs or go back to being a SAHM.

I would love to continue studying then enter work afterwards, but I’m feeling less and less hopeful of my ability to balance home and work/study life, as at just this basic level of study for this course, my attendance is currently sitting at around 60% all due to lo’s needs(tutors have been very understanding and thankfully I’m managing to keep up and meet deadlines). Work or future study doesn’t feel sustainable at that level of actual availability.

I want financial independence, the ability to feel I’m doing something worthwhile and to feel proud of myself but how do I achieve this while still meeting all dd3’s needs?

OP posts:
PinkyU · 20/01/2019 20:23

Anyone?

OP posts:
Ribbonsonabox · 20/01/2019 20:27

Thats sounds really hard.. Could you afford to hire in some help with her care each day? It's sad to give up studying when you say you are enjoying it.

je4852 · 20/01/2019 20:35

Hi, Have you thought about looking at doing a degree through the Open University? I have just started mine. I home-school my son who has SEN (we couldn't get the support for him to remain in mainsteam) and work 3 nights a week. It isn't an easy option as you have to be disciplined and self-motivated to do the work on the OU courses but in my situation there is no way I would be able to attend a college/uni course. Good luck x

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PoptartPoptart · 20/01/2019 21:11

I started a degree last September. I work 4 days and go to uni 1 day. All the study/assignments have to be fitted in at the weekends and evenings. I’m finding it bloody hard to get everything done if I’m honest op, even though I’m super organised with time management and my DC are teens. What I’m trying to say is that I haven’t got as much on my plate as you have and still I’m struggling.
I’m not trying to put you off, but do think very carefully about how/when you would find the time needed to study, whilst balancing family, work, running a home, etc.
If I had known just how demanding it was going to be I’m not sure I would have gone ahead tbh.

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