Does anyone else hate this?

[retainertrainer]

When you get a message off a friend/ relative saying ‘are you free tomorrow?’ with no more information about why. I’ve just received one and I’m reluctant to say yes because I don’t know what I’m getting myself into but I don’t know how to answer whilst leaving myself an escape route!

Reply with 'got loads of admin to catch up on, what about you', then if it's something good you can generously defer the admin and if they want you to move house for them, you're too busy.

'Depends, why?'

Just reply with:

"Why?"

I'm the same OP so I'd reply back with "what did you have in mind?" then depending on answer I can indicate what time I could be available. I find this works especially well with flakey friends who I need to use time boundaries with

Ooooh Crazy I like that one. Will steal it!

Ooosh you lot are brutal! I could never just reply ‘why?’ It’d certainly solve the problem though!x

Tellme- I like that,not as blunt but still allows for excuses!

Always answer with 'Depends on what you want'.

How about

"What time"?

You coukd be free at some point during the day/evening but not necessarily all of it.

If what they ask feels you with horror

"Ah sorry. Free in the morning but not later on"

I usually say I've got an appointment then when they tell me why and it's something I want to do I 'remember' my appointment is actually on a different day

I'm in and out all day, were you thinking of something in particular?

My DM is the queen of this. I have to play her odd passive guessing game about what she wants because if I say 'No sorry I'm at work' or similar she'll say 'oh. It's just I'm having a triple heart bypass that day and hoped you could come and hold my hand ' or similar, whereas if I say I am free it'll turn out she'd like me to spend the day helping her to inventory and clean her collection of china rabbits or something similar.

Or a variant on the theme, 'can you call me when convenient', sods law if I wait until genuinely convenient it'll turn out there's been a crisis or someone's died and I'll feel dreadful, if I call straight away she'll want to spend an hour talking about next-door's dog's constipation!

I love her dearly but she doesn't really 'get' that I am generally busy most of the time but can always drop everything and come/speak to her if it's a genuine reason so she just needs to communicate properly rather than trying to trick me! I generally always text back 'why' in answer to everything now!

Years ago,in the days before everyone had a mobile phone,I had a friend who would say to my face 'Are you free tomorrow?'. After falling for it a couple of times,I grew wise to it as she was inevitably asking me to look after her 2 young children. After that,I just replied vaguely 'Im not sure yet,I think my husband might have something planned for us but I won't know until later'. This always got me off the hook.

I’d reply-‘not sure, why?’.

I hate that too .
It's quite a rude thing to ask I think

I’d reply with, ‘I might have a bit of time, depends on what you have in mind?’