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Original poster

DD wanting to walk home from school alone. Any help?

35 replies

Notgotajarofglue · 20/01/2019 14:36

Daughter is in year 6, will be 11 in March so high school in september. Mithering to walk home from school alone!
She thinks she's about 15 but I don't think she's as sensible and streetwise as she likes to think but then again maybe she is very pampered.

We live by the town centre of a small town 0.8 miles away from school. 16 minute walk according to Google maps, we only ever go in the car, never walked. No other kids from her class live in this direction so she would be walking alone although there are lots of schools in the area so many people around iyswim

90% of the journey is along a busy A road with many side roads to cross.

School finishes at 3.30. DH usually home by 4.20, followed by me half an hour later although I'm usually first home on a Friday.

Where do I start? I thought about collecting her from ASC on foot twice a week until the feb holidays to point out potential dangers, safest places to cross roads etc.
Then, letting her walk home only on a Friday alone after Feb hols as one of us guaranteed home by 4.20. Then get her to phone me at work when she gets in the house and I'll remind her to check the door is locked egg.
Then after Easter, let her walk alone every night but I'll still take her in.

Does this sound ok? Anybody have any tips? I grew up abroad where we took ourselves from about 8 so don't know where to start. Thought about a phone with gps in her bag so I can track her journey but she'd probably play on it walking along and walk into the road or something.
Thanks

OP posts:

Jackshouse · 20/01/2019 14:38

Sounds sensible to me. In September she will be going to secondary school I assume and will need to travel by herself. Is the secondary school further away? Walking now is good prep.

Upthepong · 20/01/2019 14:41

11 years old and not walking to school yet? Blimey!

WorraLiberty · 20/01/2019 14:43

If Google is saying a 16 minute walk, that'll make it about 10 minutes.

How have none of you ever taken her on such a short walk to school? Is it because you have to drive to work?

Either way I think you'd be right to start walking her back from ASC if you can. Also, start walking with her to the local shops etc.

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Whatsnewpussyhat · 20/01/2019 14:44

Even though no one from her class lives in your direction, surely there must be lots of other parent/kids walking the same way?

WorraLiberty · 20/01/2019 14:45

Oh and get her a basic, cheap PAYG phone.

Tesco sell them for less than a tenner.

There's no need to think about any kind of tracking device. She's walking home from school, going on a day out.

Original poster

Notgotajarofglue · 20/01/2019 14:46

Yes high school almost 2 miles away, will need to get the bus.

I have a younger dd also at the same school and they have always gone to breakfast and after school club so that's probably why I've never considered it before. I don't think anyone in her class does the journey alone yet. Not even those who live on the estate where the school is

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 20/01/2019 14:51

I don't think anyone in her class does the journey alone yet. Not even those who live on the estate where the school is

That's really bad.

Walking alone, navigating roads and learning to be alert are basic life skills.

I can't understand why parents won't let their kids learn them, but will no doubt expect them to suddenly be able to travel to and from senior school all of a sudden.

ineedtostopbeingsolazy · 20/01/2019 14:53

Ds is is 11 and is in secondary school first year, he gets the bus and then walks home.
I didn't let him walk home from primary school, there wasn't a bus and it would have been a 25 minute walk and I wasn't happy with the roads he'd have had to walk along.

PristineCondition · 20/01/2019 14:57

Less than a mile and never walked, that’s sad really.

Ikeameatballs · 20/01/2019 15:00

Let her walk! Really, if you haven’t taught her how to cross a road safely by 11 you need to have a look at yourself!

katykins85 · 20/01/2019 15:00

She absolutely should be doing this, you are hampering her development and independence by not letting her. She is more than capable at this age.

foxyfemke · 20/01/2019 15:01

When I was 11 I cycled or took the bus by myself to my school which was the other side of town, a 30 minute cycle/hour on the bus, with changing.

Let her walk, she'll be fine.

Soontobe60 · 20/01/2019 15:03

Good god, this is ridiculous! A child in Y6 should be more than capable of walking home alone if it's a reasonable distance! Now is the time to get it sorted. On Fridays, she should walk home straight from school and let herself in. She will be in the house for maybe 30 mins before DH gets in. Then increase this after half term. By the end of Y6 she should be coming home by herself every night.
I worked at a primary school in a Spanish city a while ago, and the children from KS2 upwards walked to school and home again twice a day as they all went home for lunch. Younger children went with o,Deb siblings, or with an adult if they were the oldest. This was in a city, busy roads, longish distances, sometimes using public transport. It was what was expected. We hardly ever saw parents!
A ten year old is more than capable of getting themselves home and spending a short time alone.

sunshineandshowers21 · 20/01/2019 15:03

my son is currently in year six and has walked home alone since year five - as have the majority of other children in his year. i have to pick my four year old up now anyway and my eldest won’t even entertain the idea of us waiting for him so we can all walk home together.

JaiNotJay · 20/01/2019 15:08

A sixteen minute walk?! Go and tell her that not only can she walk home from school, she can also walk to school, starting tomorrow.

AJPTaylor · 20/01/2019 15:08

You already know, it's not about her being ready to do it. It's about you being ready. DD is 11 and walks home, let's herself in via the key in the key Safe . I get home at 5.30. Once a week she takes herself off to dancing and gets back after me.
She is my 3rd. I haven't bothered with a mobile phone or tracker as I know certainly in the case of a mobile it gives a false sense of security. We live in a small town with lots of people around at going home time. No one in her class lived in our part of town but she has met others that walk the same way at the same time. She is off to secondary next year.

GalacticChickenShit · 20/01/2019 15:09

I'm really not sure how this type of mollycoddling and failure to teach independence isn't seen as some sort of parental neglect.

staydazzling · 20/01/2019 15:12

😂😂 I live 1.2 miles from my kids school my 9 yr old asks to walk hes not allowed until 10 years & signed permission, by our school policy anyway, but yeah. thats a scary distance, not 10 minutes!

PotteringAlong · 20/01/2019 15:14

I cannot believe you drive that short distance! Start walking!

Original poster

Notgotajarofglue · 20/01/2019 15:24

I drive as breakfast club opens at 8am and I start work at 8 30 half an hour away. ASC finishes at 5.30 so it's just easier to collect them on my way back rather than pass the school to get home to walk back on myself to school then home again especially while it's dark/rainy(we're in NW) Yes I'm lazy. I admit I could make the effort after school, i will do next week, going to walk on Wednesday and Thursday and might let her do it alone next Friday. We go straight to dancing with my younger dd on Monday and Tuesday so can't do it then but I'm sure she will be pleased she doesn't have to tag along with us soon.

Thanks everyone for your help. As I said, I grew up abroad where we were totally free range so I've been waiting to take the lead from the rest of the parents here really but nothing has happened.

OP posts:

Starlight90 · 20/01/2019 15:28

Let her walk. Does she not go out to play?

I wish my lot could walk to/from school. Id love that! (Not possible due to where we live/no pavement for the whole journey)

RedSkyLastNight · 20/01/2019 15:32

And as an aside, if high school is less than 2 miles away, she really can walk that! I'm sensing you are not a family that walks in general, that might be why you are so unsure about letting her do something perfectly normal!

restingbitchfarce · 20/01/2019 15:34

Give her some freedom but get her a phone. There's an app called Life360. You can set it to text you when she leaves or arrives in certain designated places. My son (Yr 8) has this so I get a message when he leaves and arrives at home and school

I allowed him to get 2 buses to school in year 6 and because he had an iPhone I always knew exactly where he was

Racecardriver · 20/01/2019 15:39

Sounds like a good plan. Don’t take the criticism on board OP, very British and completely untrue. She’ll be fine. It’s not difficult for a child that age to figure out how to make that kind of journey even without practice. But do make sure she has a phone just in case she misses the bus or something else happens. It will make both of you feel better.

Original poster

Notgotajarofglue · 20/01/2019 15:41

2.5 miles, 50 minutes away the high school. Starts at 8.30am tbh with the traffic at that time she would be better off walking. Her friends all live around the primary school or on a new estate nearer the high school so there would be company the majority of the way. I'll get her a key cut this week. She's going to be pleased

OP posts:

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