Night time anxiety and panic attacks. Well, they suck. Help!

[Bastardanxiety]

Hi,

So a bit of background- always struggled with anxiety and depression. Depression waxes and wanes, but the anxiety is pretty much a constant and recently it's becoming a real issue at night time too.

My DP thinks it's a form of OCD, as I have a tendency of having repetitive thoughts and usually very negative in nature. I can cope in the day, but at night time I can feel so incredibly sad and scared actually. I hate myself for it and feel incredibly weak and almost child like, as I can lie there in the fetal position, my heart pounding so hard, crying, shaking and hyperventilating sometimes, to the point my DP will wake and try and comfort me. Sometimes they're obviously pissed off and will be cross that I can't just relax and go to sleep. I do understand their frustration with me, but honestly, I don't know how to fix it. I feel like a child, as I say. I'm embarrassed and tbh, I feel pathetic.

I've had lots of therapy and CBT, but this has never been really tackled.

The thoughts that go round in my head are utterly hideous, at times. I can't even repeat it on really bad nights, because it's too upsetting. It almost feels like I'm challenging myself to think the worst things possible and once I'm in that zone, that's it. It just spirals out of control.

Was just wondering if anyone can relate. How common is this? Is there anything I can do?

TIA

Hopeful bump. Anyone around?

Medication sorted this for me

first citalopram, then I switched to fluoxetine on account of weight gain on the citalopram.

I really feel for you, but must admit I was just saying on another thread, I wish my mum would try medication as she is doing this. She is having anxiety attacks partly because of my father's death, so she's reluctant to try any meds because she feels she will recover.

but being the person trying to look after the one with those full on attacks is making me worse! I lived alone when I had anxiety attacks - well I still do live alone - so at least no one else was upset by them. I did occasionally phone friends but I stopped them from coming by.

Thank you, Grace.

I do feel guilty about the effect it has on my DP. I try not to disturb them and will sometimes leave the room, but then they come and find me.

I'm really reluctant to go on medication, but given I've tried so many things now, it might be my last option.

ah, I had a feeling you were going to say you didn't want meds, but really it's amazing to be free of that awful anxiety. It's not just awful but physically exhausting as well.

while dad was in the hospice, I read some Buddhist thing that talked about sitting with your feelings of panic for 90 seconds and it would ebb away. It's not something I would ever have tried if not already on medication, but just thought I'd post the info here in case it's something you want to look at.

generally I didn't find mindfulness or anything like that helpful at all, but horses for courses etc.

you could also try Kalms or Stressless herbal pills if you haven't already.

Grace, you're right, it is physically exhausting too. I never feel quite 'right' in the day. Like I'm a bit delayed and foggy.

I have tried meditation, but I found being in the moment, virtually impossible. If anything, it stressed me out more, because I feel too exposed iyswim.

I haven't tried Kalms, but I have tried herbal sleeping tablets, which sometimes help a little bit.

By the way, I'm not sure if your dad's passing was recent, but I'm very sorry for your loss