Apologies to you OP, for this, as it's a bit of a derail, but too important not to address:
It really doesn't take much digging to find out how common sexual abuse by women is and why it gets overlooked.
Trigger warning for discussion of sexual violence.
"We also pooled four years of the National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS) data and found that 35 percent of male victims who experienced rape or sexual assault reported at least one female perpetrator. Among those who were raped or sexually assaulted by a woman, 58 percent of male victims and 41 percent of female victims reported that the incident involved a violent attack, meaning the female perpetrator hit, knocked down or otherwise attacked the victim, many of whom reported injuries."
"Stephanie Trilling, manager of community awareness and prevention services at the Boston Area Rape Crisis (BARCC), observes that for her queer female clients who have been assaulted by women, the first hurdle is simply understanding the assault as rape. Since this scenario is rarely portrayed in the media or in educational programming, 'it can be especially challenging to identify their experience as violence,' she says. 'Many people have a difficult time believing that a woman could be capable of inflicting violence on another person.' [...] Survivors are trapped in a cycle that delegitimizes their experience: first by downplaying the likelihood that it could happen at all, then by not validating it once it happens, and finally by not analyzing the data—and therefore creating awareness—after it does."
"One report found that women were responsible in 20% of US abuse cases between 1973 and 1987, but states report their data differently, and not all divide abusers by gender. And Philby's research indicates that people may not want hard data on female sexual abusers. Anonymous sources in the British justice system told her, 'they just aren't being given the tools they need to address this issue, or even being made aware that it is an issue at all.' And Zoe Hilton, a policy advisor at the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, said, 'Professionals in all areas of the system tend to be disbelieving of cases of female sexual abuse.'"
And they're not the best sources, only what less than a minute's searching turned up.
I'm always stunned by how quick people are to use percentages to dismiss concerns about children being abused by women, too. "Only 5%", and other such statements. Firstly, the contemptible implication is that those victims can therefore be written off, as if everything they've been through simply matters less, if it matters at all. And secondly, given the number of abusers out there, even if 5% or less were female, that's still a hell of a lot of abusive women.
I'm glad you're giving this so much thought, OP. I'm very sorry that this has come up for you, and I hope you find more peace with every day that passes.