Birthday and decree nisi same day this week

[SnookerIsBoring]

Feeling a bit 😢.
STBXH & I have been separated for 3 years. Decree is in court this week- the same day as my birthday.
Neither my STBXH or myself really want to get divorced. We are both living with new partners but we are both just existing.
We were married for 27 years & I’m just really sad we couldn’t (more me) have just said ‘ I love you, I love us, let’s make it work ‘

Do you want to be with your ex or with your new partner?
You don't have to get the decree nisi - they can be cancelled if you are the one who applied for the divorce but having a decree nisi doesn't mean you will get a decree absolute if you cancel it (again, you have to be the one who applied for it).

How does your ex feel?

I’m so confused.
My Ex is the one who applied for the divorce because I wasn’t doing anything about it & I was adamant I didn’t want us to get back together. He felt, rightly so, that he needed to move on.
He sent me a message saying ‘I hope everything works out for you & I hope one day I will sleep through the night without dreaming of you’

I think you need to consider what you really want to do and see if he wants to meet up to discuss it.

One of my friends and her husband got to this point and realised they still
loved each other and were making a huge mistake. They called the whole thing off and got back together. 15 years later they're still going strong.

It really depends on the reasons for the divorce though. If there was any abuse, addiction, cheating, then don't go back.

When did you actually split? Must have been a while ago if you're both living with new people? I kind of think that if nothing made you want to get back together in all that time then this might just be cold feet, not a sign you should be together.

With my divorce, I was absolutely certain I wanted to split and have never had a moments regret or doubt. I was still unsettled and emotional though, when the certificate came through (Scotland so different process). I think that's normal.

Do you love the ex? That's the bottom line.