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Original poster

Social services

20 replies

LaydeeJx · 18/01/2019 20:45

Hi everyone basically had a domestic with my partner on Saturday, police called out now social services are now involved, basically they think my partner headbutted me when he just grabbed my head and put it to his neither of us have marks on us at all how would I got about telling the social services? Should I just tell her it wasn't a headbutt. I'm so scared of what is going to happen. This is the first time they have been involved. I even showed the police how he did it and it wasn't a headbutt at all. Any advice would be great thanks she said she can clearly see our daughter is looked after.

OP posts:

Jackshouse · 18/01/2019 20:47

Is this your third thread on this? When you give more details the answers will be the same. Your partner is abusive and the only way you can keep your child safe is to leave.

Original poster

LaydeeJx · 18/01/2019 20:50

No this is my first

OP posts:

HJWT · 18/01/2019 20:51

Bombardier25966 · 18/01/2019 20:56

Who called the police?

Is this the first "domestic" and do they normally become violent? Grabbing someone's head is violent, it's not acceptable at all.

m0therofdragons · 18/01/2019 20:57

Police aren't usually present when people argue with the one they love. If it was serious enough for the police to be called and for them to come then that isn't a normal relationship op, whether there was a head butt involved or not, social services seem entirely appropriate in this instance. Just be honest with them and listen to them.

Original poster

LaydeeJx · 18/01/2019 21:00

Yes first domestic and it was my sister that rang the police and I know it's still violent but not as bad as a headbutt. I know it's not right what he did.

OP posts:

Bombardier25966 · 18/01/2019 21:03

Violence is violence. If it is a headbutt next time will you be saying "well it's not as bad as being stabbed?".

Work with social services to provide a healthy home life for your children. This is not it.

Bluntness100 · 18/01/2019 21:04

Why did she call the police and why do they think he head butted you?

freezinguplands · 18/01/2019 21:17

My key point would be not to minimise the violence in your house, social workers aren't going to be impressed with the explanation that it wasn't a head butt just a head grab.
You need to focus on listening to what is said to you and the advice or support given.

Dogsmellssobadbob · 18/01/2019 21:20

You should be less concerned about avoiding SS and more about your violent partner and the effect living in the house will have on you and your kids

Stop minimising it. Accept what he did and the seriousness

Original poster

LaydeeJx · 18/01/2019 21:58

The police was called because my partner andy dad were arguing on the street not because of what happened between me and my partner. When they came out I explained that we had a argument and he grabbed my head 'like' he was going to headbutt me but he didn't I even showed the police how he did it. He didn't get charged and was no further action towards him. This was a stupid silly argument that should never have went the way it did. It has never happened before, my daughter is my main priority but I don't want to.lose my partner he is a great father to our daughter. I'm just scared of what will happen next. She wants to speak to both of us on Monday.

OP posts:

Sarahandduck18 · 18/01/2019 22:06

It doesn’t sound like a nice environment for dcs to be living in. Having police called at all isn’t good yet you don’t seem bothered about that.

Original poster

LaydeeJx · 18/01/2019 22:08

If I wasn't bothered I wouldn't be writing this post.

OP posts:

Jackshouse · 19/01/2019 08:27

Apologies for asking if you posted before it sadly is very similar to another lady.

You need to stop saying it’s not so bad and start putting your daughter first. The only acceptable level of violence in a child’s home is none. If you want to stay with him then I suggest he moves out and seeks help for his behaviour.

Sarahandduck18 · 19/01/2019 09:09

You did specifically minimise the altercation between your dp and df which necessitated a police presence.

PixieDust92 · 20/01/2019 09:33

The fact that social services were called suggests they think your child could be in potential danger around your partner. SS will most than likely tell you that he needs to leave

LovingLola · 20/01/2019 09:41

The environment you are living in is not good for your daughter.
In one evening your partner and father are having a row on the street, he then puts his hands on you and your sister calls the police. You then try to pretend it was not as bad as it was. Your family can see exactly what this abusing violent man is like. You need to open your eyes and see it too. You risk having your child removed from you.

Queenofthedrivensnow · 20/01/2019 10:00

Police automatically refer incidents of dv when children are present.

You will need to evidence that your children arnt at risk

Jackshouse · 20/01/2019 10:14

If your child is school ages then the school with also be informed.

Smellbellina · 20/01/2019 10:21

As possible said it’s quite normal for police to refer to SS in these circs.
I have been in this situation before, what happened was a SW came out and saw us at home, he spoke to me and DP and we were honest about what happened. He also spoke with the DC who showed him their bedroom, my mum was there at the time too which was a fluke but nice.
He wrote a report saying the children were clean and well cared for, food was available (I was cooking tea at the time), we were having some issues but seeking help with them, he spoke to the children’s nursery who had no concerns, all immunisations were up to date etc, no further action.
My advice would be not to panic, be open and honest, they aren’t there to remove your child but ensure you are all safe and well.

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