Childcare for older child?

[whattodo5]

Just wanted to know wwyd in this situation?

Would you let a just turned 13 year old who is slightly immature for their age and is lacking common sense/doesn't make the right choices sometimes stay home alone for 2.5-3 hours each day? Parent works an hour away without traffic, there are no relatives or friends near by and neighbours are either too elderly or not often home. There is also no after school provisions.

No, I would ask a friend to watch them, as it’s not like asking someone to mind a three year old.

hmmm what, its tricky isnt it? im in a similar situation. ideally a nanny or childminder would be ideal. have a look for a childminder.

Only if they wanted to AND if there was someone very close by to step in in an emergency.
This doesn't sound like you have that safety net.

Dd is 11 and once at secondary school options are non existent here. Luckily school has after school clubs so she will go to those or homework club then only be home for 45 Mins max. 3 hours would be too long but by 13 i would expect it to be okay. Is there any Sen? If not, I'd make really clear rules and message her or call at suitable intervals.

I used to be home alone for that sort of time at that age. Lock away the booze!

Thanks for the replies, I was trying to work out if I was overacting or not.

There is no one around in case of an emergency, I don't know anyone where I live as those I did know moved away and I work in a completely different town. I was talking about the childcare I have in place ending with someone and they said dc would be fine but I'm not so sure.
My main worries are dc going elsewhere instead of straight home, inviting others in to an empty house or attempting to cook alone. They are usually a good kid but at times sense fails them completely and they also like to people please and can follow others ideas (we are working on this). They may have slight processing issues as one of their siblings has SN which includes large processing issues.
If I worked in the same town or if it was only for an hour max then I would be ok with it but as I couldn't get back quickly in an emergency and theres no one close by I am not as comfortable with it.
I will look for childminders but a few locally only take younger ones and it would have to be local to school which limits things unless they would pick up from school but I thought if they already do pick ups for little ones then they might not want to. Nannies usually don't want such small hours term time only.

Is there an after school club or homework club at the school?

Our childminder takes older children if they walk to her home, then she cooks them dinner. Could that be an option?

My main worries are dc going elsewhere instead of straight home, inviting others in to an empty house or attempting to cook alone.

I should think a 13 yo ought to be able to go to a friend's house or to the library or shops on the way home, invite a friend back, and make herself something like scrambled eggs on toast/use a microwave and kettle.

I agree going off to a strange place or inviting half the form would be not on, and if there's only one bus she can get home from school she needs to catch it.

Surely a club on a couple of days a week? Children are staying home alone after school by the last year of primary where I am, and mine will join them next year at secondary. I’m more worried about the journey home than what he does at home.

Use find my phone type app to see where she is.

Will he/she follow clear rules? Eg no cooking and be really specific what this means eg toast ok, microwave not ok. Can you run through scenarios with him/her?

no, not repeatedly for such a substantial period of time.

my 11yo walks home now and occasionally is on his own for 2-2.5 hours (he was this afternoon) but he is fairly sensible and calm, and a natural rule-follower. but i don't think in your situation it's a sensible choice.

if you can find a nearby childminder that might work. alternative would be to try and find a student who would come and babysit at home? (not necessarily totally straightforward but i know a few folk locally who are studying by distance learning).

i would try and let them do one afternoon a week on their own though, to try and build up responsibility/your confidence in them.

We did at that age because there's no holiday childcare over 12 here - I work 3-4 hours per day so dh would go in a bit late to minimise but what can you do?

When I was full time they went to the school library until 4.30 when it shut then went home around an hour before I got home.

I doubt you can find a childminder as they cannot have teens and babies I believe, and babies are there all day so more lucrative! Is there a public library? I'll be honest, kids of 13 being sent to a childminder would be ridiculed in class, half the class will be going home alone by then.

You need a 6th former. My DS does this on occasion for our neighbours who have a couple of boys that age. He does some of his homework, the boys do some of their homework, they all play a bit of X box, he has been known to sort out their tea or at least dole out snacks, sometimes they all take the dog for a walk. It’s just having someone around, light touch, to check all is ok and the boys aren’t stuffing themselves with packs of crisps/raiding the drinks cabinet/watching porn. His rates are very cheap 😊 and it’s a good arrangement for everyone.

they cannot have teens and babies

Incorrect

13? Is she not? It's not clear from your post

Sorry - NT

No after school provision, theres one sports club everyday but not all days are for mixed sexes. Will check school library opening times.
I will look into childminders and students. Ideally it would be great if I had a nanny as it would solve everything but sadly not worth it for the nanny. It would be every day Mon-Fri term time.
We would be building up skills over a year max I hope as I would hope in a years time dc would be more mature. They turn 13 under two weeks before the change. As for simple instructions, there has been an incident where when walking to school I caught them elsewhere in the opposite direction. And general messing about when they know better. Also asking them to do simple jobs or just bringing me something from a different room can be difficult enough. They get confused or don't understand even if i repeat.
When are you meant to feel comfortable leaving your child alone wether it be out with friends mucking around or home alone knowing there will be no one around in an emergency for at least an hour? Dc is my eldest so its all new territory for me. Unfortunately changing my job is not an option for a few reasons either.

Also does anyone happen to know what a student is likely to charge? I usually get help with my childcare so would have to juggle things around as i would no longer get help.

both of mine have walked home alone from school from about age 8/9 if someone would be there to meet them (and took time to build up to that as it's a mile - so would meet them across from lollipop lady, then at the other side of next junction, then another few hundred yards again).

both have been allowed home alone occasionally from age 11 - again built up from 5mins alone up to 3 hours. DD was allowed to go into town with friends from about 11, haven't done it with DS yet but probably would allow if he asked.

only thing is that i have my parents, siblings and friends all living locally (in a small-ish town) and the neighbours next door know DS well so it's not a similar "emergency" situation at all.

Where do your other dc go,? And what happens school hols?

You know your child best so if you think leaving her alone might be risky you need to find someone to look after her.

Friends have a local uni student come and sit with their high school age child after school. They help the child get a snack, sit with them whilst they do their homework and generally keep him out of trouble!!

Tulips other dc are at a different school which has an after school club and I only work term time so holidays are ok thankfully.