Pregnant at 19

[pregnantstudent]

Hi! I was hoping to get some others stories and opinions to help me make this very tough decision. I am about to turn 19 and am in my first year of studying economics and politics at university. I found out I was pregnant a couple weeks before Christmas, and am currently just under three months. I was going to have a termination last week, but the scan showed that I was over ten weeks so would have to wait until the end of the month for a surgical termination, at which point I will be 13 and a half weeks. At the clinic I was given a printed picture of my scan and am starting to grow attached to my little one, and feel it is getting to a stage where it is turning into a real baby and isn’t just some cells. I am getting quite set on keeping it and am going home this weekend to tell my mum and see if she supports me. The father of the baby is not happy about me changing my mind but has said he will stay to support the baby but won’t stay for me. Hoping someone can help make this decision a little easier with past experience and expertise. Thankyou!

I don’t think anyone can, it’s likely to be the hardest decision you’ll ever make.

I hope your mum can be supportive for you, whatever you decide

I gave birth at 19 and have never regretted it. I was also at uni, I was between my 2nd and 3rd year and I finished my degree. Went back to my 3rd year in the Sept after my DD was born in Aug, but there are options to defer for a year etc. I never did this because I worried that if I took a break, I'd never go back. One of my proudest moments was my graduation with my DD there.

One thing I would say though is that I had an amazing support network with my parents and the father - my mum took on childcare to allow me to go uni and I had to be quite strict with myself and make good use of my time to get assignments and studying done ie when the baby was sleeping i was straight on the computer! Moved back home with my parents (who luckily had a large home at the time) and just travelled to uni. Worked during all the holidays at a local restaurant. Saved money and then got our own place when my DD was nearly 2. It would have been so much harder without good support though.

I had a baby at 20 after falling pregnant in my first year of uni. She’s 16 this year and her dad and I are still together, married and have another child. However DH (boyfriend of 3 months at the time 🤦🏼‍♀️) was very supportive and tbh was more convinced than I was that we could do it. I took some time out of uni and I actually never went back but that wasn’t because of the baby, more that I wasn’t enjoying it. I subsequently went on to do another degree when she was 3 and I’m now doing a masters in a related subject to that first attempt at university. I wish you lots of luck. It isn’t an easy decision to make but you’ll know what the right decision is for you. Having a termination is a very personal decision and only you know how you’ll feel. Relieved? Or disappointed?

I had a baby between my second and third year, I was older than you. I took a year out and went back when my baby was under a year old. I finished my degree, and honestly I wouldn’t change a thing.

I am still with the baby’s dad, but I think I would have gone ahead anyway even if he wasn’t interested.

Only you can decide what’s best. I wish you luck

It will be hard initially but go for it if you have family support.