DD going on residential next week and has cold feet. Don't know whether to be bright and breezy or more sympathetic?

[FlyMeOverBarrysTea]

She can take things very seriously and is a bit of a worrier.

She's stayed over night before with friends and grandparents. She's rooming with three lovely girls and has never had any social issues beyond the usual.

I've been very bright and breezy and 'you'll like it when you get there'... am I doing the right thing here? She's 10.

Bright and breezy, definitely.

Find out what the worries are. What does she think will go wrong? How likely is that to happen? What is the evidence for or against that? What else might happen? Just get her to entertain the possibility that her worries might not happen.

Yes bright and breezy seems the right way forward. Maybe slip a couple of treats in her bag - new pyjamas and wash bag with fun toiletries illicit bag of sweets

She will have a brilliant time

Definitely bright and breezy but also subtly ask what her concerns are.

I mean, bright and breezy, but still listening to what she's saying, so

"I can see this is worrying you"

Is a happy middle ground between

"Don't be silly, there's nothing to worry about"

And

"Yes, it is really scary, isn't it."

BTW, if worrying is a problem that's getting in the way of your dd doing things, it may be worth a visit to your GP.

I was going to suggest some thermal socks but have massively mis-read this. (slopes off).

Maybe slip a couple of treats in her bag - new pyjamas and wash bag with fun toiletries

Oh I will do this, that's a nice idea. I think it's the preparations which are making her feel a bit antsy and all of the chat in school about it. Thank you.

I was going to suggest some thermal socks

We've got them! Forecast is bloody freezing!

Yes bright and breezy! We had this with dd on all 3 of her residential and she LOVED them all.

Things that helped:

Looking on the website of the centre she is going to. There is usually lots of info, photos and videos.

Talk about what she can do if she feels homesick. She can talk to friends, teachers etc. Teachers are very used to it and will help her through it.

Reassure her that most of her friends will be feeling the same and they can all help each other have a fab time.

Pack her own pillowcase so bedtime smells of home.

Write a letter to each other. Letters can't be read until the first night of the trip. It's something from home to look forward to.

Plan something special for the night she comes home. Pizza delivery in our case

Will she open up about her worries? My 10 year old DD went on a residential in November, all fine until the week before then she got teary. We googled the centre and they had 360 images of the rooms and the hall, they had typical menus so she could see there would be plenty of food (and i added a bag of wrapped sweets to her suitcase that she could share with her chalet mates).

Important not to dismiss her fears by being too bright and breezy. Empathise "i can see why you're worried. What would help?"

I don't think she has a particular worry, it's just a bit of nervousness about being away so long (M-F). I think it's the only topic of conversation at school and we're getting her case ready at home too.

The centre has a website, I'm going to casually mention it when she comes downstairs again.

I also second the idea of having something to look forward to on her return. One of my favourite memories is returning after my residential when I was 10 and my mum was waiting for me at the train station. She gave me the biggest hug and then we went home and she had put on fresh bedding and given me lovely warm pjs and we had a takeaway. I definitely appreciated my home comforts after 5 days of mud and rain and sleeping in a dorm

@IncomingCannonFire

Same! 😂😂

My dd was totally the same. She's a real homebody. I remember staying in her room with her the night before. I wouldn't let her be in the doldrums about it.
The teachers are totally aware of this and dd had an absolute blast. It was one of her top life experiences. She's in Y7 now and still talks about it.
I put tiny presents in envelopes for her for each day.

Incoming 😁😁😁