Anyone with 2 DC, do you ever worry....

[CakeBeTheFoodOfLove]

....... About what would happen if one of them were to die and the other would be left on their own growing up? Would this be a stupid reason to have a 3rd?!

No I don’t feel like this but it hadn’t crossed my mind as I’m too busy worrying about other reasons not to have a 3rd

I would like another but I worry they’d be too much to cope with if something happened to me and they’d be split up. I also think about how lucky I am to have 2 healthy kids and normal births already and I feel like I’d be pushing my luck having another. Silly I know but that’s my reasons for stopping at 2

You cannot plan for all scenarios. You could have a third child and that child could be disabled and not provide the same type of sibling relationship, would you then have a fourth?

Well this has made me feel even worse about only having the one! 😢

In my experience. Have 3 kids like my parents. Only 1 will actually be of any use. One will piss off to the other side of the world, the other will declare 1000 reasons why nothing can be done.
So I would say to those who only have 1, don't feel guilty.

Thoughts like this (and other much darker ones) run through my head and make me almost want to cry with fear. It took me 20 odd years to accept the paranoia of having 'anxiety' on my medical records (another irrational over inflated anxiety induced fear) went reluctantly on anti anxiety meds for when my mind starts going really obsessive with these fears. Funnily enough when the anxiety was treated the obsessive worry warting halted too. Don't have a third child for this reason. Instead seek help for your anxiety

I don't necessarily think only children are hard done by but they do miss out on a type of support network that only siblings can offer I think

i grew up as an only until 18. You can't guarentee siblings will get on but if one exists, then there is someone else alive who shares a history and remembers yours and their childhood. I've two cousins and an Aunt but she's on her way out and we only saw them three times a year anyway. There's no one else alive / interested now who has shared memories with me and it's bloody lonely.

I wanted two for exactly this reason. People think that nothing awful will happen (hence why so few people have wills) but it can and does.

Wow, no I don’t tend to think about any of my DC ever dying .

I have four but had I only really wanted two I wouldn’t have had a third to keep the other company in case one died! Jesus.

You really need to work on your anxiety. And on your assumptions about only children. It's really nice that you get on with all your siblings, but that's not the rule for everyone. For many of us, they're just people we shared a childhood with who now live on the other side of the world and make occasional contact, certainly not some kind of support network.

I do! But then watched a family member struggle when her sister died.

I really wanted 3 not for that reason but dh wouldn't agree

I too had the worries about who to save in a disaster and at least by only having two I was spared the stress of worrying about to save 3!

I'd forgotten about this until reading your ok. Mine are a little older now so its not so much of an issue but I have also received treatment for anxiety which maybe helped. You should get help for the anxiety and then address the decision of a 3rd child as a separate decision.

I wasn't worried until I opened this thread...I think you're being a bit dramatic sorry. If you want 3 dc just have them.

Yes. I still do worry about this. Although I'm a decade past having kids now.

My cousin died as a teen leaving his brother on his own. Having just two dc's felt like a big risk based on what my cousin went through.

Sorry but I think that's a daft reason to have another child. I have a brother who grew up to cause a lot of problems and I can honestly say that although we played together quite well as children, I would rather have been an only child than have him. I know that sounds harsh. The thing is that you never know how the relationship between siblings will develop in the future. Even without the problems there have been in my family siblings may become very different people as adults, you can't assume they'll always be close. I do sometimes feel a bit wistful that I don't have a nice sympathetic sister or brother around but it is what it is.

DD grew up as an only child, she tells me that she is very happy with that. I always made sure she had an active social life as a child and she has plenty of friends now.

This happened to me, it scares me so so much and yes, it's one of the reasons I am having a third.

This actually happened to relatives of mine.......their dd became ill in her teens and died leaving their ds who is disabled.

They got drunk one night when we were on holiday and I remember them saying they felt their future had ended with the loss of their dd. They'd never have grandchildren etc. They were still very young (( 34 )) and the biggest regret was the dad had a vasectomy and they'd always just be 3 and that was it. No way out. No future children, no grandchildren, nothing.

It brought it home to me how final sterilisation is, I'm happy with my 2 dc but opted to have a coil fitted over anything final. Their experience and mourning their choices being taken away is the main reason.