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Missed miscarriage

5 replies

GabrielleSkyeBraith · 17/01/2019 05:33

Sadly I got the news yesterday at my 12+3 week scan my baby stopped developing at 4 weeks. I have had no bleeding, no cramps and no sign of miscarriage. I am going back in 1 week to confirm at another scan and have a medically induced miscarriage. I had a feeling if dread going to the scan as I felt something was not right and I remember seeing the empty screen as she scanned me. I did not cry as something deep inside me already knew. I am more sad because my mum is sick and I don’t get the joy of making her a grandma. I was trapped in an emotionally abusivd relationship. He walked out just before I found the baby was gone and didn’t come back to check on me he just left me at the hospital. We did not live together and he’s blocked me and not messaged me since. After weeks of hell I almost feel relieved it is over and it’s as if baby knew they would be safer in heavens arms. I came and had a slight bleed that stopped it’s as if my body wanted to hear there was nothing there before it let go. But I am just confused why my body has not miscarried naturally. The baby passed away 8 weeks ago and they are still inside me is this not dangerous? I have been told this will likely never happen again but it has put the fear of god in to me that when I meet someone good this will happen again. Flowers

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CandyPuff · 17/01/2019 07:17

I am really sorry for your loss gabrielle. Have you got someone in RL to support you?

I was offered a DC or medication to induce the actual miscarriage. Have they not done that?

It only happened the once for me, but yes I don't think you can avoid the fear that it will happen again Flowers

GabrielleSkyeBraith · 17/01/2019 08:15

My terminally ill mum discharged herself from hospital to be with me and my family have been wonderful. They said I can’t take anything for another week because of the lack of bleeding they need to air on the side of caution that it’s not still growing. I know it’s such a horrible feeling Bear

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DaisysStew · 17/01/2019 08:22

Oh love, that’s so awful for you, I’m really sorry. Flowers

The same happened to me a few years ago. I wasn’t offered any intervention either and it did take a while before anything happened naturally. After the next scan if the outcome is the same I would insist on some medical assistance with it. Not just for the physical side but also because the wait itself can be traumatic.

Like the PP it only happened to me the once, no medical explanation just one of those things unfortunately.

CandyPuff · 17/01/2019 08:30

Oh lovely, that's a horrible situation. I really feel for you. It's good you have supportive people with you. It's a very dark time.
Its the worst feeling. I don't know what to advise. I just muddled through but there are probably support groups/counselling available? What do you feel like you want/need?

GabrielleSkyeBraith · 17/01/2019 08:48

Thank you for your kind words everyone Flowers
I will ask for help to bring on the miscarriage next week I need to somehow move on from this. I was trapped in a very toxic relationship and the baby’s family were vile to me even after I lost the baby. He was a narcissist and played himself a victim so I got the backlash for being cruel and evil for stopping him from being involved and stopping them from seeing their grandchild. Despite me not once saying to him I would stop access. He was jealous of the close bond I have with my ill mother and talked about wanting to put her in a hospice when I fell pregnant. He was just cruel and evil but his jealous side only showed when I found out I was pregnant. He was trying to control and isolate me from everyone I loved. He already threatened me with court if I did not stay with you and told me I would be the one visiting my child. It may sound cruel but I feel as though both me and baby have had a lucky escape from him. I think even baby knew heaven was the safest place Flowers

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