Toddler hitting baby-tips needed

[Iceinthecider]

My 2.7 year old little girl is lashing out at her baby brother 15 weeks old. She's done it a few times, usually slapping his head and usually when he's being held by me or another family member or is being pushed in pram.
It has ramped up the last few days, she's scratched his face with her nails twice as well as slapped. I literally have to push her and keep her away from him as she goes for him again and again. When she does it and mostly out of panic I do shout and put her on the naughty step. Tbh it is a waste of time, she laughs in my face. She can be loving, kisses his head, strokes him etc but the next minute she lashes out.
I've do try to give her as much of my attention as I can, cuddles etc as I know the root of it all is jealousy but with a ebf baby who is crap at daytime napping and wants to be held all the time it is not easy.
There have also been some changes to routine in last few weeks including dh starting new job so out of the house more (she's a massive daddy's girl). I know people say that 'oh they all get jealous and act up' when a new baby comes along but this feels extreme. I don't leave her alone with him for a second.
Any tips on how I should react when she does this? Anyone dealt with similar?

I think keep doing what you are with the naughty step when she does it with clear explanation of why she's on the step and that she must not hurt baby. But along side this can you bring her into your feeding routine? Is there something she really likes doing that you could do at the same time as feeding? With DS1 when DS2 came along feeding time meant story time for him which he loved and clearly felt like he was being included in the new baby's routine.

Thanks for the reply. I have read to her whilst feeding a few times but will try to make this a more regular thing. I'm going to try and do her bedtime a bit more too (if I can work it around the velcro baby). As for the naughty step it feels increasingly pointless. She takes herself off to the naughty step,sits there laughing saying 'I've been naughty Mummy, hahaha'. Bloody infuriating. She knows hitting is wrong but does it anyway.

It is exhausting but every time she takes herself off put her back on and start her time again. Don't engage with her, blank face and leave her there. In the end she'll become bored of it and it will start to sink in.

My ds1 did this with newborn Ds2. I never left them alone for a second.
I realised it was attention seeking behavior. So I kept modelling good behavior with the baby. How to use gentle hands and to tickle his feet or tummy.
Also try not to compare them at all, treat them as seperate children. A good book to read is 'siblings without rivalry'.
Also if baby needs feeding/ changing make it your responsibility. So say Mummy needs to feed baby X now. Not Baby X needs a feed.
To be honest naughty step doesn't really work for any age children, let alone toddlers. It never resolves the root of the problem, which in this case is attention seeking and jealous behavior. It's understandable. Try some love bombing if Velcro baby can be put down. I sometimes do use a time-out or a sit and think to calm down but always accompanied with a chat/ lecture. Also read 'how to talk so little kids will listen'.
The other thing to remember is your daughter is still just a baby herself really. Although she may be able to talk really well, she still won't have the reasoning and understanding. Easy to forget when they are so much bigger than the newborn.
It took a while and lots of work (ongoing) but they're best buddies now (mostly).

I don’t think her behaviour is too extreme, most of my group of friends went through similar when second babies came along.

Things that helped with jealousy in our house

• Genuine one on one time with oldest - get your OH to take the baby for a walk in the sling/pram for an hour or something at the weekend so it can really be just you and your daughter, and let her choose a special activity.
• Getting the toddler to play with the baby. Limited at 15 weeks but eg making edible finger paints and painting baby then a bath together to wash it all off - this helps build a strong bond between them
• Lots of catching her being good - making a fuss about how kind she is when she is being kind!
• Lots of empathy “It’s so hard having a new baby in the house sometimes, I bet it feels like Mummy doesn’t have much time for you any more. Let’s plan to [bake/go swimming/whatever] on Saturday”

It’s hard but you will get through it and they’ll be wonderful friends before long.

Lots of good advice, many thanks. Have already told dh he needs to take ds for a long walk at weekend so she and I can spend some time together. I do praise her a lot when she helps me by bringing the nappies etc and she gets told all the time what a good big sister she is. The ideas of them playing together I like the sound of. I think I'm in danger of acting like a bodyguard to ds and keeping her away from him because I'm scared of her hurting him which is the very worst thing to do isn't it.

Oh but it’s impossible not to do the bodyguard thing. He’s your newborn and your whole biology is wired to defend him. Honestly, you’ll get there. It sounds like you’re doing brilliantly. It’s such a hard adjustment for everyone.