Do teenage boy moles dry hump my carrots?

[Mysterian]

I'm partly trying to get the best ever thread title, but have you ever wondered what happens to the veg you eat when it's in the ground?
I was eating a jacket potato and thought about all the worms that must have wormed over it when it was underground. And then I thought about a mole whose tunnel might have the bottoms of a few carrots dangling from the ceiling and wondered what might they might do. Maybe a mole has an itchy bum and wants to rub it against something?

Do mole bum germs come off veg when they wash it?

Anybody else thought about this issue?

How will Brexit affect it?

There are no moles in Ireland? Wow! Every day is a school day on MN!

And there was me thinking of doing a vegetarian meal for dinner tonight.

Must be why it's the emerald isle- no lawns get dug-up!

Hardly vegetarian if it's full of mole sperms, lumps.