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assertive phrases needed for work situation

20 replies

Waytooearly · 16/01/2019 08:28

Hiya, I know the right thing to do here but need some assertive non-negotiable phrases to knock something on the head.

Without outing myself too much, I'm a lawyer and I've just started at a nice new firm which is national, and which will soon be opening a branch near me. The main headquarters are about a three hour drive away. The new branch near me will open in a couple of weeks (a little behind schedule, just one of those things). In the meantime I am doing some local court work for them, and a few other bits of contracting work. I don't have access to the main client database but they are posting court bundles to me as needed. I'm working at court and at home.

Okay, so here's the issue: last week I drove down to their headquarters for two days (stopping over). I said hi to everyone, did paperwork, got a laptop, and then shadowed some appointments. I can access their client database when I'm in their office (plugged into ether net) but not elsewhere.

On Friday afternoon one of the sols handed me three files with urgent issues that needed addressing right away and asked me if I could help. I reviewed the cases, took instruction, wrote to the other parties, made detailed attendance notes with recommended next steps. All notes were uploaded on the client database and printed for the file too.

I couldn't find the solicitor before I left on Friday afternoon, but I left the files on her desk and emailed her and her PA, saying what I'd done and referring her to the file notes.

There are no plans for me to go back to main headquarters office. They know I can't access the client database at home.

You know where this is going, I bet. Last night I got an email from another solicitor at the same firm, saying to me in essence, 'I need an update on these cases, the clients are contacting me, it's urgent!' cc'ing a bunch of senior people.

I've responded to her and to the person who asked me for help on Friday (cc'ing all the other randoms she's copied), saying in essence, 'Of course I don't have the files or access to your database, but off the top of my head here's what I remember doing on Friday [...]. You'll see my full notes in the files and on the database. Unfortunately that's the extent of the update I can give. Check with [main headquarters] office, as there have likely been developments since last week.'

It is a no-brainer: I don't have conduct of these cases. I can't be responsible for a file I don't have access to. It's not my fault that their local branch isn't up and running yet and that I have no database access. I helped out for a few hours to be collegial.

However knowing myself as a people - pleaser, I have a danger of getting into 'no good deed goes unpunished' territory sometimes. Sometimes I fear CFs can sense this.

I trust my response this morning made everything clear, however in case there is some cheekiness in reply, can you help me with some swift, pleasant, unequivocal responses to essentially say, 'Nothing to do with me, sort yourself out.'

OP posts:
Seeline · 16/01/2019 08:33

Unfortunately, as I cannot access the system from home, and my office is not yet operational, I am unable to assist in this instance.

Luglio · 16/01/2019 08:33

I don't have conduct of these cases. I can't be responsible for a file I don't have access to. It's not my fault that your local branch isn't up and running yet and that I have no database access. I helped out for a few hours to be collegial.

You already have the answer. And for goodness sake, stop thinking of yourself as a 'people pleaser'. Labelling yourself will cause you no end of grief.

Waytooearly · 16/01/2019 08:38

Yes, maybe just a broken record technique. 'Unfortunately I don't have access to the database so I can't assist. Check with x.'

I need to resist the temptation to excuse and justify at length.

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Sicario · 16/01/2019 08:40

One tip - try to stay away from negative language and stick to positive language. Us women have a habit of apologising for things that are nothing to do with us. So words in your sample paragraph like 'unfortunately' and 'of course (before) I don't have' could be deleted.

Perhaps in this case you could have forwarded a copy of the email you had sent to the sol and the PA on Friday, which would have given them a full status report without you having to explain yourself.

Try taking a moment before sending any email to scan it through and remove any negatives. You will sound a lot more assertive and sure-footed. Good luck in your new job!

Waytooearly · 16/01/2019 08:47

Yes, that's very helpful.

'Unfortunately I haven't got access to the database. I'm afraid I can't give you any more updates at the moment. Maybe x can help.'

As opposed to:

'I dont have access to the database or the file. You'll find my notes from last week on the database. X will have updates.'

Both are perfectly pleasant and clear, but the second one gives off a 'not my problem' vibe.

OP posts:
SaturdayNext · 16/01/2019 08:49

Keep saying "As I said, these are not my files, they are X's, you need to contact X about them". Make sure you cc in the same people.

Grace212 · 16/01/2019 09:14

I think you need to use the second one.

DelphiniumBlue · 16/01/2019 09:21

Absolutely the second one, you're staying facts, not making excuses. Don't use any emotive or descriptive language of you want to be seen as assertive.

Waytooearly · 16/01/2019 09:31

Yes, thank you so much. That's just what I needed. I'm really grateful.

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Sicario · 16/01/2019 09:38

Yes - second one sounds much better! You'll get the hang of it in no time!

SaturdayNext · 18/01/2019 07:38

Did it work out OK, OP?

Waytooearly · 18/01/2019 12:55

Thanks for asking. No one's responded about the 'urgent' cases so I suppose that's been sorted.

Just got a call from a clerk at the main branch and in the course of talking about something else I found out they'd double-booked me for hearings on one day next week. I said, 'Oh dear I think you might have it wrong,' and the clerk said, 'No, your initials are right here in the diary.'

Also found out that they'd booked me into a hearing on a day I'd already rented office space to see some clients (which they knew about). Okay.

I reminded her that I don't have access to 'the diary' and that I only knew about the hearings they emailed me about.

We ended with her agreeing to talk to seniors and both of us saying we'd work it out.

I've emailed the two senior guys saying hi and checking in about the hearing dates I've got planned, making sure we're on the same page.

They've been great in other ways so far and they are working hard to get me an actual office. Just needing to stay patient and assertive during this awkward period.

OP posts:
Waytooearly · 18/01/2019 13:26

I hope we're not into 'red flag' territory here. It's a little shambolic (and discourteous).

I'm thinking now would be a good time to have a chat with boss (or maybe his Very Nice PA) to say something like, 'Hey could you let everyone know I'm off the grid? They seem to think I have access to databases, etc., but I don't yet.'

OP posts:
SaturdayNext · 18/01/2019 17:26

Sounds like a good idea, Waytooearly.

Waytooearly · 19/01/2019 13:07

What's a good assertive way to handle the following?

I'll start by explaining that in my last job there was a real blame culture and a lot of manufactured chaos, so there was a real risk of getting scapegoted if things fell through. I've got some leftover anxiety from that.

Just setting scene, again I have no access to database/company diary of my new firm so various lawyers have been emailing me asking me to do hearings for them at local tribunal. Then they post bundle to me.

I got a panicked call from a clerk on Friday afternoon asking for my address so she can send me a court bundle via urgent post for `Tuesday's hearing'.

I said I hadn't been told of a hearing for Tuesday, and in fact I'd rented some office suites in town for Tuesday and booked a bunch of new clients in that day. (I had told director about same and cleared that.)

I said I was happy to do hearing and shift things about, just hadn't known about it.

She seemed flustered, said, 'Well I don't know, I just see your initials here for Tuesday. Let me check with (Senior Guys) and get back to you.'

After we spoke I emailed (senior guys) saying 'Checking in about next week's hearings, I've got xyz in my diary. (Not Tuesday' s). Let me know if I have missed any. ' No response.

I am trying to be collegial and helpful but I have a tendency to take responsibility and apologise for things I haven't done wrong, so I need to make sure I'm assertive and clear here.

I am thinking an email first thing Monday morning to Senior Guys, saying:

'For this week, as I've mentioned, I've rented that office suite you suggested to see new clients on Tuesday. Right now I have got three families booked in.

I had a brief chat with [clerk] on Friday and she mentioned a possibility of me being needed for a hearing on Tuesday. I don't know whose case it is, or the clients name. However she wasn't sure and said she'd look into it.

I haven't heard back and haven't received a bundle so I'll just proceed to see those new clients tomorrow. If you do need me for a hearing tomorrow after all, I'm happy to do it, just drop me a line so I can shuffle diary.'

What do you think?

OP posts:
Waytooearly · 19/01/2019 13:09

The other possibility is to just note that no one has actually asked me to do a hearing for Tuesday, and so just merrily carry on with my plans and not give it any headspace.

OP posts:
afrikat · 19/01/2019 13:12

Personally I wouldn't offer to shuffle things around. They haven't contacted you, never asked if you could do the Tuesday and aren't replying to your reasonable prompts. I would just say 'as I have heard from you I will assume I am not needed for the case on Tuesday and proceed with the previously agreed plan' or something similar

PearsandWine · 19/01/2019 13:15

Agreed but you should also email the clerk first thing on Monday referring to your previous call and saying "As I mentioned, I don't have access to the systems or the diary until X date and I do have meetings booked in for Tuesday, but I just wanted to touch base and check you had everything sorted for your hearing on Tuesday."

That way you get your side on record and have something to forward to others if there is any query.

I'd also ask senior guys PA to arrange for your diary to be blocked to others inputting anything into it until you are fully on the system. It's only common sense!

Waytooearly · 19/01/2019 13:20

Thanks you guys. That's helpful. You totally get it.

OP posts:
Waytooearly · 19/01/2019 13:57

I think it can actually over-complicate things if you sort of involve yourself in potential problems.

OP posts:
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