Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

ADHD or Spoilt

40 replies

Dextrodependant · 15/01/2019 18:43

I have 3 dc, the eldest 2 have their moments but no real behaviour issues. Not perfect of course no child is but generally well behaved.

DC 3 (6 and a half) is a whole other kettle of fish. He gets really angry, I have not known a child like it, worse if he is frustrated.

He can go into a sulk and refuse to speak for ages even with his teachers in school. He can't be brought out of it until he is ready. This has improved as he has gotten older but it still an issue sometimes.
When he talks to you he has to stroke your arm or hop up and down or twiddle your clothes.
He cries if he is bored, proper upset cries not just whinging.
When he is engrossed in something he is really engrossed but only certain things that take his interest.
He is behind his peers at school (other 2 dc top of the class) but he is summer born.
He is a bad sleeper and struggles to go to sleep.
He says I love you a lot. Like it's a tic or something. He can literally say it every 2 mins at times.
He has issues with clothes, he complains about things touching the back of his legs or his arm creases to the extent he prefers to wear shorts even in winter.
He gets leg pains a lot especially at night.

I am wondering if he has ADHD but people around me say he is spoilt because he is the baby. I admit I have been a bit softer on him that the other two, I breastfed him and coslept with him for ages and he never had the push of a younger sibling to force him to grow up.

Does that sound like ADHD or more like I need to toughen up.

OP posts:

Original poster

Dextrodependant · 15/01/2019 20:24

Bed time is a particular struggle and at the moment letting him lie in my bed seems to help and then transferring him. Of I try to be firm and do the two stories then bed on your own it just erupts into chaos if I am firm, and endless night of I can't sleep, I need this that the other if I am lenient.

Dealing with the tantrums isn't the issue, more how quick he is to anger. He can switch to rage in am instant and my other children never displayed that.

Today he got sent out of the dinner hall to the head teacher because he got really mad. He wanted to talk to his friend bit someone else was talking over him and he got mad. He sort of gets this really angry fave and goes into a rant. He was rude to the dinner lady and teacher and when they sent him to the library he was coming up with ways to escape.

He isn't having tantrums to get his own way because that doesn't happen. It's like he has this anger and can't deal with it.

Oh another slightly off thing which on its own is probably not concerning but with everything else.... He wrote a book and was obsessed with me photocopying at work so he could sell it. He had all these plans about how he was going to make money out of his book sales, what he needs to set up a shop, how much to sell them for.
Now he wants to make a business selling orange juice.

OP posts:

bootygirl · 15/01/2019 20:27

I would just like to say that it can be both. My Ds has ADHD and ASD. What we found is that his ADHD made him seem less autistic in that his impulsivety masked his Autistic characteristics.

So don't rule out a combination. He was never a 'problem' at school which is why it was 'ignored' till he was 11yr and we finally went outside the state system (not in uk).
I think you go with your gut. Do not let anyone tell you your child is spoilt or the classic 'cut sugar'.... BS...
best of luck.

gamerchick · 15/01/2019 20:28

He needs assessing OP and the sooner you get that ball rolling the better. Speak to the school on how to start or speak to your GP. In the meantime keep a diary.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families

breakthepattern · 15/01/2019 20:29

@Dextrodependant oh gosh I can relate to the book thing!!
Mine doesn't know the existence of photocopiers, but he makes us staple paper into books he then writes prolifically (often illegibly) and insists on giving them to people. They're repetitive and mostly focus on him and his sibling and how much he loves everyone

breakthepattern · 15/01/2019 20:31

@Dextrodependant also, did you see the names of the two books other posters just recommended on my other thread?
They sound good I'm going to check them out.

bootygirl · 15/01/2019 20:32

One of the things I found was that it's the change to the plan DS could nt deal with. So if he thought he was going to shop A to get sweets but it was closed and went to Shop B got the same sweets he would have meltdown. It was nt about the sweets but teaching him how to deal with change...

MissMarplesKnitting · 15/01/2019 20:33

See the GP.

Recent research on ADHD found out that in about 40% of cases the children didn't have the syndrome and were in fact, chronically sleep deprived.

From what you've said you may have a sleep problem that's causing the behaviour candidate other symptoms. Worth getting this addressed.

MissMarplesKnitting · 15/01/2019 20:33

Behaviour and the other symptoms

Original poster

Dextrodependant · 15/01/2019 20:44

I still feel a bit like he will grow out of it but it's becoming more apparent that actually there is something.

Would you recommend taking him to the doctor with me or making an appointment on my own initially?

I don't even know what to say to the doctor.

A diary is a good start. Will do that.

I did see the book reccomendations, I will give those a read. Thanks

OP posts:

MissMarplesKnitting · 15/01/2019 20:58

Record his sleep and the behaviour etc in a diary and take it to the GP. I'd go solo so you can actually talk to them.

Original poster

Dextrodependant · 15/01/2019 21:05

I will keep the diary and see what the GP thinks.

Reading up a bit on autism I keep thinking well he isn't That Bad. Does that makes sense?

He talks and his vocabulary is great. He interacts with other children and he plays with his toys in the usual way.

OP posts:

breakthepattern · 15/01/2019 22:42

@Dextrodependant does your DS talk a lot? Mine is constant. Relentless. Shouts over people, will not be interrupted. Is sort of a bit possessed and if you try to derail completely loses his shit.

anniehm · 15/01/2019 23:04

Keep a diary/notebook of concerns. It could be developmental and he's simply behind his peers (as you said August birthday) and different to his siblings - there's a huge normal range or development and these in isolation are all normal. But there's enough that would concern me to consider autism spectrum - was speech delayed at all? My dd has autism (now adult and at university - please try not to worry is what I always say) -and I'm an advocate for newly diagnosed and struggling families with kids with asd so I do get "is this normal questions a lot, but actually it's so broad and overlaps with other conditions eg adhd, bipolar as well as neurotypical plus neglect even. Consequently many doctors are reluctant to diagnose prior to compulsory school age.

Please please try not to worry, concentrate on meeting his needs and parenting appropriately and talk to nursery about your concerns - make an appointment with your gp and take the notebook with you, plus a report from nursery if applicable.

Ilovecrumpets · 15/01/2019 23:11

Hi @Dextrodependant just found this thread and wanted to post to say your DS sounds very like my DS ( also year 2 but an early summer born). Huge temper tantrums and gets very angry when things are ‘unfair’. Is getting into trouble at school and interrupts the teacher. Seems to get bored very easily but then again can be obsessively absorbed in doing something that takes his interest. So can do Lego for hours. Weirdly also has the money making ideas!

I’ve always had this background feeling that something with him just doesn’t fit - my youngest is not like this at all. But against that he is very creative, writes long stories, can appear very emotionally articulate although finds friendships difficult.

I’ve spoken to the school but not really got anywhere. Like you don’t want to be seen to be making excuses for his ‘naughtiness’. I’ve been thinking about going to the GP too - but then he will have a week or so where it seems better or more under control and I just don’t know. And wonder if he will grow into himself.

TwinkleToes101 · 16/01/2019 07:50

I recognise my DS in much of OP's description and llovecrumpets's son. I personally have no worries with my son's behaviour. The only concerning thing in OP's description is the anger. I would be thinking where is this coming from. If you like, get the school or GP to advise. The sleep/anger/tantrums could all be related. The book thing is quirky and fun. The 'I love you' tic shows a possible slight anxiety? The bedtime separation also speaks to me of anxiety. The rest of the description is that of a sensitive child imo. Not all kids are robust, rough and tumble. They're all made different.

Having had a nephew diagnosed with aspergers recently, I can say if there is a real problem the school would be picking up on that (nephew has multiple behavioural problems flagged up consistently and regularly since he started school).

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread