Lost confidence on return from mat leave

[sunlighthouse]

I've been back two years and it's literally just dawned on me today. I've doubted myself constantly and second guessed everything I've done. I have not invested in my own development. I've shied away from anything I wasn't 100% confident doing even if it was a good opportunity. I've considered asking for demotion and considered resigning entirely.

I didn't even realise I was doing it! It's like a fog has lifted.

Did this happen to anyone else?

Yes yes yes !
I felt each maternity leave I has been a step backwards in my career and now 4 years later I have moved on, but still lack confidence at work which is ridiculous

I remember when I went back to work after mat leave it was like my brain just went “meh, this isn’t important to you anymore, bugger fish to fry” and I stopped caring. This was good as I worked in complaints so it stopped me getting wound up by it, but I probably missed lots of opportunities.

However, after about three years I applied for a much better job and have progressed so much since. I’m the sole earner though so this definitely had an impact!

Yes I definitely have had that "bigger fish to fry" feeling and I'm sure an element of it was just feeling it wasn't important anymore. But I also think part of that was me not really being honest about how I felt and giving excuses for why I didn't want to progress when actually I had lost confidence.

I had a wake up when DH was made redundant very unexpectedly and suddenly my P/T job was important and may have needed to become full time - certainly the 'bigger fish to fry' feeling receeded. I made much more effort to network & step up.

It reinvigorated my interest and made work more enjoyable, BUT having DH at home to do all the house dross & child organising made that SO much easier.

Eek I am so worried that this will be me when I return to work in 2 weeks! I think I’m going to have to practice faking enthusiasm!