4am starts are killing me

[Anderson2103]

Hi. I have an almost 3yr old Son who is has always been an early riser waking generally between 5- 5.40am daily from birth. However, for the last 2 months he has woken between 4-4.20am and refuses to go back to sleep.
This makes for a very long day. He's tired, I'm tired and we end up shouting and crying....not healthy for either of us. I've tried earlier and later to bed, food before bed, no nap during day, waking after 45mins nap, disturbing in night to give him some milk to try and make him go longer but nothing works.

Help

Sympatheties. Do you get up for the day at 4.20?

The problem is exposing his body to light, having breakfast etc will all keep his body clock at that time. You have to treat it like a night waking. So whatever you would do at 1am do at 4,30/5 etc. So keep lights off and do not get him up. Keep putting him back to bed if he does get up. It will be exhausting for you but you need to reset the body clock.

Delatron.....we never allow him to get out of bed, all lights remain off and we try not to talk to him but still he persists. We have his grow clock set to 5.05am as anything past that is just too un realistic here at the mo.

Sounds tricky. I would definitely just set the gro clock to a later/ more acceptable time. Or keep putting it back by 10 mins a day. You are still starting the day with lights on etc at 5.05 so his body is just anticipating that and waking up a bit earlier. Even if he is awake lying in the dark that is better than getting up at 5am every day.

I know every child is different and some are early risers but I do believe we can shift our body clocks (like we do when travelling to different time zones, eventually the body adjusts). This is your aim, to reset his body clock not to reinforce it by getting up at 5am every day.

Try lavender essential oil on radiator or under pillow

I’d persist with no naps. How long did you try for? My ds was in nursery and none of them napped when they turned 3.

What time is he going to sleep? Napping? How long did you try a later bedtime for? It takes a week or so to make a difference, ime

Get a gro clock and be firm with him.

I agree to treat it like a night waking. You need to set a more realistic time for getting up (not 5am-that’s the middle of the night still)!

If you’ve got up at 5am with him from birth though his body will be used to that and it will probably take a long time so you’ll need to be quite persistent but if you carry on treating it like a night waking, you should be able to reset his body clock.

Set the grow clock for the time he usually wakes up. Do this for a few days.
Then set the time for 5 mins later and explain he must stay quietly in bed until the clock shows it is time to get up - loads of praise/small reward for staying in bed until the clock says it’s time to get up. Carry on with this time for another few days.
Gradually, and very slowly, set the time 5 mins later - again lots of praise etc.
Do this until you manage to get to a time you feel is acceptable to rise for the day.
It’s a slow process - It may take weeks to achieve this because the key is to only move the time forward by 5 mins every 5-6 days.

You ever got to cut out the naps and aim for an early bedtume. Up till about 4 ish my dd would go to sleep at 6 pm on the dot and wake at 6 the next day. It’s horrible cutting the nap and it messes both of you up but it’s worth it.