Someone else's childminder- wwyd?

[OwThatsGottaHurt]

Wondering what the MN consensus is here. A lovely new family has moved into our town and their 7yo ds is in my 7yo ds’s class- they’ve become v good friends and my ds had a play date over there Christmas holidays. That’s for background to show the extent of my relationship with the new mum.

She works full time as do I, so rarely see her at the school gates. However I am working from home this week so doing all the drop offs and pick ups for a change. My issue is this: their childminder is absolutely screaming at her son and the 2 little brothers in a horrible way. I was watching them yesterday and the boys were playing close by quietly and she was absolutely screeching at them in a vicious tone that stopped me in my tracks. If she is like that in public what is she like at home with those boys. The boys looked terrified and walked over to her heads hung low.

I haven’t been able to shake it. I would hate for anyone to ever speak to my kids like that. Should I say it to the mum who I barely know? I feel uncomfortable as it is an awful thing to tell someone. Or should I mind my own business?

I always mind my own business but this really shook me up to see the way she treated those boys. And she is a childminder!! This is supposed to be her job... wwyd?

I would tell her the mum exactly what toy have said here. Then it is down to her to decide what she wants to do with the information

Please do. I would want to know and if she is doing that in public who knows what she does in private. There must also be a way to report to the care commission?

Hi Op

I had something similar, but it was m children. Slightly different scenario as I wasn’t new to the town, it was our new au pair (not child minder) but I was told of concerns by another school mum and also by an au pair of another family (this au pair did Saturday morning baby sitting for me while I went to the gym).

I then spoke to my children and they confirmed what was going on. Of course, we paid our au pair notice (plus her air fare home) and she had to go right away.

Do let the mum know of your concerns.

I’m not sure technology today as compared to when this happened with us, but maybe film this on your mobile and show the mum, then tell her this has concerned you and you wanted to make her aware.

We were very thankful to be told,

Definitely tell.

Tell her. She would want to know. And if she doesn't want to know, you wouldn't my want to be friends with someone who is happy to leave her children with that sort of a CM.

Thank you so much for responding. I wasn't sure if I would be doing the right thing. That's what I felt too- if it was happening to my children I would absolutely want to know!! And if I later found out that other school mums had concerns I would be upset they hadn't told me.
Thank you all for your feedback. I really appreciate it.

Tell. I’d want to know if it were my children

Ehlana- I think she will definitely make the change when she finds out but you are right- if she doesn't then that will also be telling.

Honestly it was the most awful hate filled screeching at them. I was still thinking about it last night at 11pm and it turned my stomach to remember it. And I am not a sensitive type.

Definitely tell her. I'd have ripped into her then and there to be honest - but yes, any parent would want to know

Tell her. Please please tell her. I would even consider putting a complaint into ofsted. And I say that as a childminder.

Sometimes my dc has told me his cm shouted at him. From speaking to his older sibling I’ve learned it was much less cross than he made it sound (eg telling him to put his shoes on quickly). If I had a witness to actual nasty shouting I would really want to know that.