Are we really all doomed, or is it just me?

[dangermouseisace]

I’m trying to get a realistic handle on things.

I worry, a lot, about most things. A lot of it is about the state of the planet, and feeling guilty that I brought my children into this world, when it’s all going to pot. Worrying about climate change, pollution, plastic, overconsumption, terrorism, wars, unemployment, homelessness...the list goes on.

I’m on a ton of medication for depression, and I’m able to do daily tasks, get kids organised etc. I do all the things I’m meant to do to be happy. See other people, exercise etc. I’m volunteering, doing a vocational course and looking for paid work.

But I can’t get rid of that awful feeling of dread. If I wasn’t on meds that knock me out at night I wouldn’t sleep at all, due to the thinking. Is it just me, or is this normal? Life wasn’t always like this- I wouldn’t have had children otherwise. Is this just how things are now, for everyone?

This sounds like it might be generalised anxiety disorder.

I’m able to do daily tasks, get kids organised etc. I do all the things I’m meant to do to be happy. See other people, exercise etc. I’m volunteering, doing a vocational course and looking for paid work.

This all sounds positive.

With the worries, I would divide them into two groups:
-Things I have some control over.
-Things I have no control over.

The second group, you are going to have to learn to live with. It helps not to let yourself become too obsessed with these issues. For example, if you find yourself reading lots of worrying news articles, put your phone away.

I say this gently, no it's not normal. Have you had any talking therapy or just meds? My experience is that for most people with any kind of issue (I worked in a field where we could often find ourselves facing horrific scenes and if people got knocked off course then meds alone wouldn't cut it as they dont address the root cause) counselling is needed, not just meds to manage symptoms.

Can you pinpoint anything that correlates with this dread and depression starting?

OP, my list of worries is almost the same as yours and I do feel that I spend more and more time worrying about it. I too have wondered if it's like this for others or it's just me. I have always been a worrier and sometimes I think that this happens to all worriers - that as we get older and have children, it gets a bit worse and this is just how it is. I envy people who tend to not worry too much about stuff.

thefirstohnthat sounds like a tactic, I’ll try that.

sophialovessummer yes I’ve had therapy. I’ve had problems with depression at various times, but a few years ago I had a stress induced breakdown and never really recovered.

doublevodka sorry you have it too!

Go for a walk. Seriously - nature's a great healer.

I'm not saying it'll get rid of all your worries but it's a start.

Endorphins (I think) kick in after 20 minutes. That, deep breaths and repeating an 'it's all going to be alright' mantra works for me x

My dread and depression started when trump got elected into office, Putin got reelected fixed the polls and climate change started destroying communities wholesale!

I agree with you OP, we have [many of us] brought dc into a world that is potentislly unsurvivable within their lifetime. You can't feel guilty about that though, we are working with what we are aware of and all collectively try to shoulder our own bit of responsibility for doing something about.

Thankfully the world is generally very aware and some radical measures are being proposed to make a difference. I have to hope trump won't be reelected and someone sorts Putin out, but having said that, we are not living through WWs like our DGGPs did, with bombing raids over London and the like.

Do you talk to others, like RL support to challenge your sense overwhelm about it all? Have you spoken with Samaritans? I imagine they will be getting more calls about exactly the worries you describe and might be helpful for some perspective to find?

I think its brave of you to start your thread and ask so openly, I hope you keep talking and work through anxieties and find some peace within and happiness.

I wish you all the best

Exercise, yes! Absolutely, there's nothing better than the god feelings from endorphins, and the oxytocin of being close to loved ones, having connections with animals, and so on. You need to OD on them! sending you peace and happiness, make tomorrow a good day, be thankful for each and every good thing in the moment.

Have you tried mediating to still your mind?

I used to be the most relaxed laid back person ever. Very little worried me. I'm totally at the opposite and of the spectrum now.
I'm looking at ways to reduce this and have found that looking at news is one of my triggers. I have given up being informed in favour of a simpler and less anxiety prone life. It has made a difference. I ended up subconsciously feeling like I was partly responsible for things entirely out of my control whilst also trying to control them IYSWIM.
Key news gets filtered down to me via Facebook comments or links anyway but I don't actively search for news now. I don't need to know about another traumatic event, concerns for the environment or political.upheaval. It will go on despite what I think/attempt to achieve anyway. Why subject myself to.more misery?

Another one who has had to step back from news and current affairs for self protection.
When I’m anxious I’ve found it very helpful to focus on my anxiety with a kind of curiousity rather than trying to avoid it or block it out. What does this feel like in my body? Where is the emotion manifesting in my body? When did it start? What was I doing/saying/thinking right before?

Sometimes I will mentally assign a time to think about stress/worry/anxiety so that it doesn’t overwhelm every moment. This is quite useful at night time, I might decide to deal with it after I’ve dropped the dc to school in the morning.
Writing down my worries helps too because it can clarify what I can deal with and what I can’t.

Thanks for your kind comments. I excercise quite a lot outdoors- I agree that’s essential for wellbeing. I haven’t tried not looking at the news, so I will attempt that. I used to write things down too- forgot about that in the constant rush to fit everything in...