Days out with ex?

[AllStar14]

I was wondering (after a disagreement with my ex) if many separated/divorced parents go on days out together with their DC for birthdays and that sort of thing?

We do. I know two other split families that don’t.

Sometimes DD’s step-mum comes along too.

It can work really well but everyone has to be on board.

That's really nice to hear, it is great when everyone gets along.

I'm the one not on board, I don't want to spend the day with him. Neither of us have new partners, if we did that might make a difference. I don't think it's in any way detrimental to the DC if we do things separately so not sure why he is so adamant.

It works
For some and doesn't for others- there is no blanket rule. I always invite to DC birthday party, and due to work he couldn't see her n her birthday so came for tea. I felt a bit awkward, but enough time has passed that we can do civil
And banal conversation so it was fine, amd she enjoyed it. Others don't, and is not judge them for that either

We have gone out for dinner with our children for their birthdays . He and his now fiancé also both came to eldest birthday party . I wouldn’t do a whole day out with him though .

We often have them here at Christmas and on birthdays, we also meet up on holidays if they're nearby (they love an area we also love).

It only works if everyone involved is a decent person and not a knob. Snide comments, jokes about the past and digs would prevent it from working but we get by ok.

XDH and I often go out with DD. But we are on very good terms,see each other every day, pick up groceries for each other, look after each other's pets etc.

I think it is confusing for the children. The sooner they get used to the fact that their parents have separate lives (and in future different partners) then the sooner the children will adjust to the new routine.