I'm suffering with health anxiety. It's not the first time. I experienced this before after the birth of my son. I now have a daughter and it's crept back up on me again. Ts progressively got worse over the past 3 months but started up again August last year. I have seen my gp who has been very supportive. He has prescribed citalopram as my usual methods of getting well just aren't working. The problem is I'm still breastfeeding my 15 month old. I'm also triggered massively by medication so it will be a huge decision to start. The past few weeks I've been hugely sleep deprived which I know doesn't help my anxiety and worry. I feel my physical symptoms increasing. I feel like it's a huge effort to leave the house because I'm co Stanley having to reassure myself that I'm fine, that there is nothing wrong with me.
My obsession used to be heart attacks, and I still worry about this. More recently with the raised profile of sepsis thus has become my main concern. A family member recently had a stroke and now this is a worry for me to. I've had a migraine the past 3 days and have convinced myself it means I'll have a stroke. Any pain or ache or anything I feel just confirms to me that something is wrong.
I feel like I'm existing under a cloud. I feel low most of the time. I'm tearful. I get panicky. My thoughts are consumed with worry, fear of ill health, fear of death.
I have a supportive husband. Who is very good at challenging my thoughts. I have had previous CBT and counselling. I know what helps. I guess I'm reaching out to feel understood and not so alone. I don't have a close network of friends. I take my daughter to her classes twice a week and spend the whole time trying to control my racing thoughts and rising panic.
I know that it could be better, I know I could be more in control but I don't have the capacity at the moment to feel like I can change anything. It's affecting my life, my marriage, my relationships with family. I just feel so hopeless. Like I'm waiting for something to happen....