Can’t get over him

[HPLI]

It’s been 1.5 months and I can’t seem to get over him. I cry constantly. I don’t want him back, he broke me, he stole from me, he walked away as if we were nothing and hasn’t looked back but I can’t get over him. My doctor signed me off my work but as I was in my probationary period I ultimately lost my job. I don’t even care. I just miss him, feel lost without him, wish I could rewind the clock, wish he would come back to us and fix things. I know in my head he isn’t worth my tears and I’m better off but heart doesn’t seem to be catching up. I’m slipping into somewhere dark, I’m struggling to carry on, I’m not engaging with my son as much as I should be and I feel terrible for it. Doctor and health visitor have just told me that it will take time to get over. I wish I’d never met him but miss him so much. I just want the pain to end. He doesn’t deserve my tears. I feel pathetic. I want to be stronger. I can’t find the strength. I feel weak and vulnerable. I don’t know how I’ll get through this

It’s not him. He’s treated you badly and now your mental health is suffering as a result. Stop using him as the focus. Focus on getting yourself well. Go back to the GP and talk through your treatment options.

You say he walked away as if you were nothing, do you think he deserves this headspace of yours while he's presumably absolutely fine? From what you've said he's a complete dick, fair enough be upset it ended etc but he absolutely does NOT deserve your thoughts. In the kindest way possible, it's time to have a word with yourself, give your head a wobble and put your positive pants on. He's not worth it.

You arent missing him. He was horrible.

Your missing something else. Maybe the space he filled. Emotional contact with someone. Maybe someone to talk too.

Consider getting help or, if you can, join some groups to keep active and fill your spare time and find a new interest. Runnings (jogging, couch to 5k) is a great one with a local club but I appreciate thats not for everyone.