WWYD I think SIL has found me on a messageboard

[Reallyready]

I post on a message board (other than this one) about the trouble I have with the ILs. Over the years I suppose it’s built up quite a picture.

Recently I’ve had some private messages through the boards from a relatively new poster, first of all just chatting about nothing in particular (odd in itself) and then asking all sorts of questions. It occurred to me that the style of writing of this person was very similar to how my SIL speaks. I kept an eye on their profile for a while (shows forum activity) and they check my posts a lot.

There is no reason for this. They arrived out of the blue, posted a few quick posts around the forum and then messaged me.

For context, we are cut off from MIL and FIL and we wrote to SIL in the hope she would keep in touch with us but she never never replied and we’ve heard nothing since.

Can you subtly post a couple of things that are innocuous but completely incorrect? Like saying you have an aunt in Liverpool who you stay with every month or something... Or that you can't stand something that you actually really like! To throw her off the scent... Needs to be subtle though!

Is what you are saying something you don’t want her to know or an exaggeration of real events?

I would probably write something completely untrue about myself to tbrow them off the scent (like I have 3 boys instead 2) or i own a pet turtle.

Then at least she can question whether it is you or not.

popehilarious done that!

Move2WY I only post the truth and if it is her she must have recognised her parents even though I haven’t spoken to her about any of it.

I don’t mind her knowing, she must know what they are like, but find it odd if it is her that she has even bothered to look.

Just change a few details. Throw in a husband or extra child in the mix. And always ignore PM's.

nothing to add but i found my dil on a message board saying terrible things about me and my dh....totally exagerated.

Maybe add that you are due to have a baby any minute now and PIL's are being total pills about it at the moment, etc..... obv if you are eight months pregnant, this is not going to be helpful at all, but if you're not, this might work....

If this were me I'd probably tell her something outrageous (lie) that she couldn't possibly ignore then when your family find out you've proved it's her.

It's one thing to recognise someone but it's quite another to make you think your confiding in a stranger on the internet.

start talking about how your husband has been offered a promotion at work but if he takes it you will need to relocate to xyz city/country and how excited you are for him, and how hard it will be if he accepts as moving will be hard as you have just found out you are preggers

We have no contact with the ILs, so we’d never find out they read it if I planted something. I have said a few things that were wrong when she asked, such as where I lived etc.

My issue with saying I’m pregnant etc is that the others on the board would believe it, too many to contact individually, and so anything I post in the future wouldn’t make sense.

Maybe I ought to post my OP on that forum and remark the ILs are stalkers? SIL had her chance to be in contact and decided not to.

Do people not answer PMs then? 😲

Anyone else has this?