Splitting holidays with ex h

[Ifeelreallylow]

Court ordered that we split all holidays.
But for half terms they ordered that we split 7 days 3/4
Not including the first weekend.

I've worked this out and he will have 2 half terms where his EOW is the first weekend so he gets these long periods of time with them, where as when I get 3 days, it's actually just the weekend.

I get 1 this year where I get the first weekend.

But I've looked forward to next school year, and again, he's got 2, possibly all 3.
This doesn't seem fair.

Is this normal? Does the parent unlucky enough to have the second weekend just lose out constantly?

Anyone?

I'm so worked up about this I can't sleep

Go back to court with it worked out to show them the unfairness.

You can ask court to look at it again. I did this with our 6 week holiday arrangement and they altered it so it was fair.

Half terms - our says "for the half terms if dd is with dad for the first weekend of the holiday she shall stay with him until Wednesday noon. If his weekend is at the end of the half term she shall go there early from Wednesday noon"

Did they not word it like this for you so it becomes an even split?

So he only gets EOW during term time? In that case surly its perfectly fair that he gets a few more weekends at half term? Its only a few times a year, far more important for both parents to have a good relationship with their children and definitely not worth going back to court over.

They worded it:
Feb half term: 4 days with the mother, 3 days with the father rotating Yearly.

I queried which of the 9 days from Friday to Sunday they meant as 7 and they said the first weekend doesn't count.

It does matter, because over the course of a year or 2 or 3, he could end up with all the first weekends. Meaning I hardly ever get that time with them.
I only get EOW too in free time. Sure I have after school but that's hardly 'quality time' in the same way.

Why should he get all the extra? Why shouldn't they have some holiday time with me too? Equal time? To build our relationships?

My legal aid certificate has expired. So I can't go back to court just like that.
I would be seeking an amendment.
The solicitor I had before is rather unwilling to present this as I've already had several amendments made (these were errors like misquoted dates or stuff like that)

@Ifeelreallylow
You would not need legal aid for this. You could apply to vary / amend the order by filing the paperwork - depending on your financial circumstances you may not have to pay the court fee. You could then self represent.

So out of 7 days you get 4 one year then 3 the next and so forth.
So effectively you're only getting one of the school holiday days (every other year) as the weekend would be your normal time.

They would probably only vary it to Wednesday 12pm swap over - so you both get exactly half the week - which in the long run means you have only gained 1 day every other year per half term.

It's up to you, but some years it will favour him and some years it will favour you. It depends on how your relationship is with him - because he may be approachable and willing to compromise.
It does seem quite trivial in the grand scheme of things to be arguing over realistically 1 day per half term.

If the 7 days is half term then surely the weekend in that 7 days shouldn't count as your EOW. It simply isn't your EOW if he gets them sometimes. Is there any chance it's designed to be excluded from your EOW? So he gets weekend 1, you split the weekdays and 2nd weekend 4/3, then the children return to school. Then the next weekend after that is yours, not his.

This would also neatly mean that instead of him always having the first weekend of the half term, it would exactly alternate. Given the court must be making these decisions all the time I do wonder if this is how it's meant to be implemented. It would be easy enough for them to say 2/3 for the weekdays.

Actually scrub that bit about them exactly alternating - I misread that bit of your OP. I think whose turn it is to have the first weekend should even out over time , but with only 3 a year it might take a while before it flips to being in your favour.

Sure I have after school but that's hardly 'quality time' in the same way
Obviously other people have different perspectives. But for 36 weeks of the year you have your DC waking up and having breakfast with you every morning 5 days a week. They come home from school to you, tell you all about their day, you get to do homework with them, eat dinner with them. You get to form their personalities and determine what type of adults they will be. You get to bath them, tuck them into bed and read them stories ever weekday for 36 weeks of the year!

I call that quality time. If you dont think so then consider if you would be happy to be the parent who gets to see their children EOW.

I just can't see justification why your upset to split three half terms a year 3/4 days each (rotating). Try and look at the bigger picture.