Marijuana smell on nieces bottle.

[Burnt0range]

I went to visit my Mum yesterday. My brother, his partner and their beautiful 5 month old DD (my DN) was there. My heart breaks for my DN because she is in a really unstable home. My brother and his girlfriend argue constantly. They often drink and get drunk around the baby and my brothers girlfriend smokes marijuana in the home.

Every time I have visited, it smells like marijuana in the home but my Mum always assured me it was something my brother's girlfriend had stopped doing when she was around 6 months pregnant with DN. I had pleaded with my brother's girlfriend to stop the moment she conceived. She went 6 months without stopping. It is evident that she has started this again. When I saw them yesterday, they went upstairs to help my Mum decorate and I looked after DN. When she needed feeding, I took the "clean" bottle from the bag they had brought with them. The moment I took the lid off, I could just smell marijuana. The smell was all over the teat. I asked a couple members of my family to smell it too, just for confirmation. They could smell it too.

My heart is broken. I was going to confront my brother, but none of us dare to because he is violent and aggressive. He has come close to killing people before. He still has that temper. He seems to have really calmed down since DN came along and it's the first time in 10+ years that I am able to sit and have a conversation with him. Unfortunately though, he is still unpredictable and very unapproachable for the most parts.

What on earth do I do about this?
Speak to him?
Speak to his girlfriend?
Mind my own business?
Contact the social services?

I just don't know.

Any wisdom is entirely welcome.
Thanks.

Speak to social services. There's no point talking to them yourself.

This is why I have held out to react just yet. If I spoke to the social services, I would want it to be anonymous. If I reacted, my brother would know that I had contacted them on the back of whatever conversation we had. He would then go crazy. He has made it clear to many of us before that if anyone ever contacted the social services on him, he would "smash their faces in and make their lives hell."

Social services directly, rather than your brother.

It could have come from anyone - a neighbour, a passer by, not just a family member. It's not like social workers are going to knock on his door and say "Excuse me, we've had a report your daughters bottles smell like weed." They don't give the reason for the referral.

If he does suspect and threaten you, you could potentially get a protected steps order from the police?

Bertiebotts, I am aware of that.

I still have to be careful though, because it's easy to link it if my brother and I have a discussion about this, then the social services contact them shortly after.

I am also known in the family as being a "grass" because I have reported my younger sister to the SS twice for similar reasons. Drugs, drinking and neglectful treatment. So again, it could be linked to me quite quickly.

If SS intervene then ur going to be automatically implicated whether u are the actual reporter or not, as you have form for previous Reports of family members.

May as well just get on a report him, but be super nice (and appropriately shocked) to his face!!!

Yeah fair enough :( Tough situation, but you can't just leave your neice to cope with it either. I have a 5 month old too and they are so tiny and dependent at this age.

I don't think talking to him is likely to help, even if he has calmed down, it he says he will smash people's faces in it sounds like he is still angry. His GF sounds just as bad so I doubt speaking to her is going to help. You can't ignore it. There is only one option.

SS definitely. Your poor DN can't speak for herself so you have to do it for her. Alternatively anonymous call to police not 999. You can just deny all knowledge to 'D'B. Terrible situation for you but thank God there's someone around (ie you) to try to sort out these situations