Returning to work dilemma - full time vs term time job

[mebeforeyou]

I’ve been a SAHM since DS was born and who will now be starting Reception this September, so I’m thinking about what sort of job I’d like to do. I definitely don’t want the same type of job I was doing prior to DS as I grew to hate it.

DH works in education so he thinks it would be good if I got an office role in education so all three of us would have holidays together, however the non-teaching salaries are dreadful compared to my old job and I simply can’t justify this to myself.

The private sector, where I have always worked, therefore is more attractive and there are so many different jobs I could look at. But, and this is the big issue for me, DH works 14-16 hours daily during term-time and crashes during the holidays. As it is, he doesn’t get up until 10-12noon during the holidays (excluding when we actually go away somewhere) and so I feel DS which just be left to his own devices once I had gone to work. DH would just put him in front of the tv and go back to bed, and then when up make no effort to do anything with him or take him out anywhere.

So, really, for DS’ sake the best option is a school job isn’t it? At least until he’s towards the end of primary school?

I think it depends on what childcare you would use during school holidays if you’re working non term time- might be hard to find a childminder for that. Personally I think your DH will have to step it up in the school holidays. I left teaching just over a year ago and I didn’t have an option to crash or have lie ins as my partner works long shifts.

That is the poorest argument I've ever heard, for looking for a job in a school

If you think you will enjoy a job more, that pays you more and means you work in school holidays and have a normal amount of Annual Leave, then look for one like that.

It is just possible that your ds might want to chill out for a bit and have a lazy start in the morning once he starts school too you know. there is nothing wrong with that. You've said your dh will get up when he needs to - so when you are away together, and when they arrange to go out somewhere for a long, full day, but most days you don't need 16 hours to do things together with a small child in the holidays.

I don’t think most female teachers get to “crash” in the holidays when their DH’s also work. Don’t sacrifice your career for his if you don’t want to. I think he can manage spending a bit of time with his kids in his holidays even if it is just to take them to and from a holiday club.

Both myself and dh are teachers. I'm a part-time head of department and dh is a deputy head. We both work hard, but 14-16 hours every day seems excessive. I think your dh needs to see if he can work a more reasonable day so that he doesn't crash so badly in the holidays. We have young children (6 and 3). We take in in turns to have a lie in, but we're both up by 8ish. What your dh is doing is not sustainable in the long-term.

Tell your DH to get a fucking grip. I teach and am knackered; but in the holidays I am still a grown up with responsibilities and spend my time looking after my child. How fucking pathetic.

Same as above! Hand him a grip and tell him to man up! I’m a teacher with 3 kids...11 months, 2 and 7 and I just get on with it in the school holidays because that’s what you have to do!! He sounds pathetic! 16 hour days?! He’s not managing his time effectively if that’s the case!!

Thanks for the comments. Sorry I meant he works 12-14 hours, not 14-16.

DH is a Deputy CEO of an education trust, so no longer teaches. Unfortunately he can sometimes have a selfish streak in him

You would be sacrificing your career so that he can have long holidays and you can take care of DS while he rests.

If your DH is already working 10 till 12 hours a day, who is going to drop off and pick up your son from childcare? Will that also fall to you?
thus restricting you to a job where you have no flexibility to put a few extra hours in and have all of the pressure of rushing to childcare, rushing to work, rushing all day, rushing to pick up and then coming home with a tired child to pick up all of the house hold tasks...

Think all of this through and hopefully you will get your DH to see that a child is a shared responsibility and he needs to do his bit..

There is very high demand for school office jobs. I won’t assume that you would be able to find one.