What does your 13yo dd do at the weekend?

[LEMtheoriginal]

My dd is lovely. She has friends at school but due to distance doesn't socialize at weekends.

She spends too much time on tech but otherwise she wants ti do stuff with me and dp.

I like that but we run out of ideas.

How can we a) find stuff she will be interested in or b ) encourage local friends? Sometimes girls call but she tells them she wants to spend time with me

I was never home at that age and neither was dd1 (28!)

I know you said she doesn’t socalize at weekends due to distance but what about having a friend stay the whole weekend or her going for a sleepover at someone’s? Instead of going back and forth all weekend

I don't agree with the whole weekend sleepover idea, but that's because it's not something we would do in my culture. She sounds like she enjoys your company, so how about asking her what she wants to do and plan something each week? She sounds lovely OP. And you must have done something right if she wants to be with you, so make the most of the time together!

Mine just met up with friends in town. We didn't live near any of them either. They would go ice skating/swimming/cinema, have a wander round town and have some lunch.

My DD is a real homebody too OP. She loves catching up on her sleep, school work, hanging out with me and the cat and straightening her hair on a weekend (tbf that does take half a day). She's more active and sociable in the holidays when shes caught up with rest. Her friends are constantly snap chatting and what not. I don't worry about it.

Single i think she is tired from her school week too.she has to get the bus at 7.30 and not home til 5. Poor thing.

Yes LEM I think the school week really takes it out of them. Mines very aware of how much sleep she needs vs how much she gets! I think if they got enough during the week, they might be more inclined to go out and about at weekends but that's a hard enough thing to balance as an adult isn't it and we don't need as much sleep!

Another thing is my DD loathes cold weather lol so would be much rather inside during winter than hanging around the skate park or youth centre (which some of her friends enjoy to do). She's far more sensible than I was at that age!

I often think the same about my son although he's 14 so a bit older than your DD. He says he has plenty of friends at school but is often around the house in the evenings and at weekends. I was out every Saturday at that age but I definitely think things are different now as more kids (particularly boys in my experience) are happy to be at home on their phones, tablets, PS4, etc.

We still do lots together as a family and I've decided not to worry about him not hanging out in town every weekend but to embrace the fact that we'll suddenly be sooo embarrassing that he won't want to be with us anymore! He does have a younger brother so it does make it easier going out as a family.

We take them trampolining, swimming (slides, etc.) walking or meet up with our friends ho luckily have kids who ours do get on with. It's hard though as weekends are for us adults to chill out too and not plan activities for our teens!

Potter around, get up late, read, do homework, come on errands, watch tv, do a bit of hobby, go to gym class.

And then we might go to town or for a walk or a coffee.

Just normal stuff. I don’t arrange stuff to entertain just do stuff together like you would as an adult.

I don’t think kids are out like the used to be. Tbh I’m probably closer in age to your adult dd and thought I might have walked to a friends or the shops or the occasional trip to town I was in more than I was out at 13.

My ds is 13 and is really into a sport he does. This means he is out on Friday night for an hour, pretty much all day on Saturday and Sunday. That doesn't leave much time for anything else to be honest. He has the same school day as your daughter so his spare time is generally spent catching up on sleep, rest and homework.
He has some school friends but doesn't socialize outside of school although he does go on the Xbox and talk to them on Fortnite.
I don't think our kids have the same lives as we did at that age. In some respects I am glad about that. I started going out drinking age 15 and really can't see my ds doing that. There is nothing in our local town for teenagers to do so I am glad he has his focus but I do worry that he isn't developing much independence.

My DD13 went to the local primary, but like yours goes to a secondary a distance away. Luckily she's still very much in touch with her primary friends, and they often meet up at weekends. She also plays a sport on Saturday morning (as does one of her close local friends), and with homework, lie ins and trying to do stuff as a family, the weekends seem to fly by!

This weekend as an example - she stayed at a friend's (secondary school) Friday night, I picked her up Saturday lunchtime (she missed her sport session), slept half the afternoon 🙄, then we watched tv, played a board game after dinner. Today we've played tennis, she's done some homework, and is meeting a local friend after lunch.

I went to school a long way from home and didn't really have local friends (other than a few kids who were on the same bus as me) until I was old enough to go to the pub ☺️, but I don't remember being unhappy about it - I liked my own company, reading, pottering etc.

My 14 year old doesn’t go out. It’s not her scene. Very very occasionally she will meet a friend or go to town but she usually just joins in with us on a Saturday mooching round the charity shops and having lunch and will do homework and listen to music on a Sunday. Couldn’t imagine her deciding not to make plans to spend time with us tho 😂 that’s defo not why she doesn’t go out