Someone tell me there's hope for a hairy lairy grumpus like me and that I won't be single forever?

[MoreNougatThanCougar]

As above really.

Recently unceremoniously dumped by the man I thought was my forever after 12 years. I'm nowhere near ready to start looking for another partner (wouldn't be fair on them never mind me at the moment) but I need some reassurance that it won't be hopeless when I am because the thought of being single forever makes me very sad

I'm not what most men want, I fear. I have children with 2 different fathers, one with SN. I refuse point blank to shave or even trim my fanjo (armpits and legs might get done every few weeks if it's hot outside, maybe), I'm unapologetically forthright with opinions (mainly related to feminism and politics), I won't take any bullshit from any man ever again , I wear comfy pants and fart with abandon, I'm not even remotely pretty, and have a slight facial deformity that means I'm shit at blow jobs.

Quite a catch huh?

On the plus side I can cook a fucking excellent cake, I have a nice shapely arse, and I'm super independent (run my own successfully small business, no desire at all to be financially dependent on a man, don't even really want to live with one ever again). Oh and I like doing outdoorsy shit like climbing mountains and cooking over open fires and going away in my converted ambulance. Men like that, don't they?

Does someone like me even stand a chance? It's been a Very Long Time since this was even on my radar and the thought of never having someone else to snuggle makes the future seem very bleak!

Take it easy! Don't worry about that yet, let your heart heal first ❤️

You sound great fun, independent and outgoing. What’s not to love?

Oh you know, the crippling insecurity and self doubt?

Oh, of course you will!

But you may have to be a bit more flexible than your OP says. It’s fine to have your view on things but as you know, a relationship is team work yadda yadda. You may want to ease of the Take Me As You Find Me stuff and instead just accept that meeting someone is work. This can mean moderating ourselves a bit from the superficial (how we dress) to the deeply considered (political opinions and when/how we share them.

You sound fucking awesome.

I'm a woman, and happily married, but otherwise I would go camping with you in your converted ambulance, sounds amazing and you sound great fun and interesting to be around! And seriously, there's someone out there for everyone. I'm loud, tall, hairy and opinionated and, as above, adored by my DH. Don't give up on yourself.

I can't be arsed to change or compromise . Maybe that means I'll just be single forever but I'm so done with making sacrifices for men. It really will have to be take me as you find me from now on. I need to stay whole and sane for my children and that means not compromising or trying to keep up a front for anyone else.

You sound fabulous.

I'd totally go for you if I was a man, or more lesbian :-)

I wonder if the way to go might be to meet people through activities you're interested in? You might find outdoorsy stuff a really nice way to have a good time and make some new friends anyway. I can see it working for you.

On the plus side, Alaric, I do find that being unconventional puts off the wrong 'uns and means that the ones who are still interested are interested for the right reasons.

My stunningly (conventionally) gorgeous sister has had to fend off all kinds of horrible men her whole life and has been treated very badly in her relationships. I, on the other hand, am at least four dress sizes bigger than her, shorter, more mouthy, more hairy, don't wear make up and am generally not everyone's cup of tea -- yet the relationships I've had have been with really wonderful and kind men who have loved me and thought I was beautiful. Having spent my late teen / early 20s years feeling mildly like the ugly duckling in comparison to her, I now feel thankful not to have had the disadvantage of 'conventional attractiveness'.

Well, you sound like a fabulous catch to me!

Well obviously I don't fart all the time. I just do if I need to. I'd hold it in for, I dunno, a job interview or first date

I’m a bit like you. I’ve been alone for a while and I’ve lost any etiquette I ever had for meeting a new partner.

Thing is, I feel too old to compromise but, at the same time, I don’t want to meet my male counterpart!

You sound fun. You’ll probably meet your match hiking up a mountain.

Anyone put off by any of those things isn't someone worth worrying about, OP. I never dated as a teen, I was in the process of figuring out I was a lesbian and also more interested in school and my family than dating any of the idiots around at the time. I signed up for a dating site (POF) a few months before I graduated as a joke with a friend after watching a documentary on how bad it was, my now DW messaged me four days later and we've been together over five years, married almost two. My wife and I, both being female, understand the frustration of the hair removal pressure and neither have any issues if the other can't be bothered, whether that's legs, pits or anywhere else. I'll do downstairs sometimes as a surprise, and I normally keep my legs shaved as I prefer them like that, but it's entirely my choice and she doesn't mind if I dont. I love that my wife chooses not to, it's just as attractive if not more so because I know she's comfortable. Be comfortable with yourself, the right person will love you for being you.

My dsis was neat and petite, pretty, vivacious, and well dressed and OMG she managed to dig up some real pondlife! I'm 4 years older, several sizes bigger, and with two ds (and with no fanjo trimming!) but found a prince eventually! . There's someone out there for everyone OP!

I just dread having to deal with the pondlife or the whole dating scene, but at the same time the thought of not meeting anyone else makes me so sad. I want someone to share my life with (not yet but long term that's what I want) and I'm so scared I won't find anyone. People keep telling me to be happy on my own but I just don't like being on my own very much. It's boring and lonely!

You sound fucking awesome!

I’m sure there’s someone out there that will love you just as you are. And DONT settle for someone that doesn’t.