Me and my ex had a court ordered contact book to paas between us to facilitate contact for dd, as I refused to take anymore abuse from him so my mum was doing handovers. He whined to cafcas that he would need to tell me stuff occasionally and it wouldn't get passed on by mum because it was usually along the lines of I was fat slag etc. Anyway this contact book was a trial and he knew he would lose it if he was his sweet, true self.
He picked dd up from nursery. One of the slimming clubs was doing some promotions there and left flyers and free soup to try. He picked some up, tucked them in the book and said that I 'may find them more beneficial as he was of a slimmer nature'.
It actually made me and all my family howl with laughter. He was absolutely of a slimmer nature, about 9st wet through at 5ft 10in. I was a size 10 at the time so couldn't take it too personally.
He also called me a 'judge fucking whore' outside court when he didn't get his own way. And in mediation he seriously told the mediator this would be a lot simpler and easier for everyone if I just did what I was fucking told for once.
The mediator was fab though, cocked an eyebrow and asked "by you? Just so I am sure?" Yes he replied.
She took me out of the room and into a seperate office, asked me if I wanted to carry on but it was waste of time and a way to persecute me some more in her opinion, told me to go and she would keep him at least 10 minutes, longer if she could then terminated the mediation process so he could have his day in court, and be rold he was utterly unreasonable.
He was a cunt, but pretty articulate at insults.