Can child maintenance services refuse to collect from his salary?

[thefourgp]

I’ve had a total nightmare with my ex and CMS. We separated January 2018 and have two children. My ex husband was signed off work January to April 2018 but paid me £125 per month as instructed by CMS. I contacted them as soon as we separated because I knew he would try to get out of paying me anything.

He started a new full time job in May 2018 and started paying me £150 per month because he was taking them once a week instead of twice. He told me he had sent them new wage slips and asked them to reasses what he has to pay. They told him because he paid me £125 per month when he was signed off work earlier in the year, he had overpaid me last year and he didn’t have to pay me anything in December or this month so he’s not paid me a penny.

To cut a very long story short, I’ve told them I want all future payments collected directly from his wages and they’re refusing to do it. I’ve been told I cannot request this because he is paying me when they tell him to.

I am so angry and frustrated with him and CMS. CMS keep making mistakes (they’ve sent me letters saying he’s earning less than £100 a week which isn’t true), they keep apologising and saying they’ve got backlogs, I’ve had to appeal to a court and I’m awaiting that outcome but there’s no timescale given for when a decision will be made. Everyone I speak with seems so incompetent. Do I have the right to request they collect from his wages?

To add, there’s been months when he’s still tried to get out of paying and only did it because I threatened to ask CMS to take it directly out of his wages. I try to keep all contact with him to a minimum and I don’t want to have to chase him. He’s acts like he’s doing me a favour instead of taking responsibility for being a father.

Sorry, I know that was a long post but maybe someone knows the answer?

I wish I had the answer honestly because I'm in the same situation. Been in this loop with CMS since 2012 and he now has arrears totally £7000!! When I ring them they say all the right things but don't do anything. And they contradict themselves so much. The service isn't fit for purpose but no one cares that children are losing out because of it.
How's your court appeal going? Previously posters on Mumsnet have suggested going to my MP, but she's useless and too busy constantly promoting herself on the tv. Maybe you could try your MP?

That sounds awful Bonfireheart. I logged the court appeal at the beginning of December so it’s not been too long but I’ve only received a letter saying they have my documents. It’s so frustrating these awful men seem to get away with taking no financial responsibility for their children and the system set up to help you doesn’t. He makes out to everyone that he’s a great dad and I desperately want to tell the children the truth but they’re too young and it would only hurt them so I don’t. Does your ex see your children?

My advice would be to persue through the courts and while you’re at it, get a court order regarding all access arrangements too. It will save time and hassle in the future as your ex doesn’t sound like the sort of person who is reliable or would honour his word.

I've never considered going through the courts I didn't even realise that was possible. Did you have to go through a solicitor?
Ex sees DD every six weeks (school hols) and even then he messes around on the dates just to be awkward. Don't trust anything an exH says!

I will complain to my MP. I spent over £3k on solicitors last year and I can’t get a court ordered child care agreement in place. They told me it’s only possible to get one if the other parent is withholding the children. You can’t get one in Scotland if the other parent keeps refusing to take them, letting you down at the last minute etc because you cannot force someone to spend time with their children. I don’t trust anything my ex says either. We were together a long time and I never thought he’d treat the children so badly. I knew he wouldn’t make things easy but I was shocked at just how callous, selfish and uncaring he’s been.

Yes op, go through a solicitor to sort out both financial and child access arrangements.
If he won’t agree through a solicitor then it can go to a family court.
In my opinion it’s worth having it all set out and agreed clearly as it will save a lot of uncertainty for the years to come.
Of course, as a pp said, even if there is a court order in place you cannot force him to spend time with your DC, but what it does do is prevent him trying to change the goalposts to suit him at a later date. As long as you make your DC available for access on the arranged dates then the rest is up to him. He cannot start requesting changes/demanding to see them at the last minute or at inconvenient times causing disruption to their lives and yours.