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Teenage packed lunch - is this ok?

34 replies

AlexaShutUp · 10/01/2019 22:54

DD is 13. She is small for her age and quite slim but not underweight. She is quite active (half hour walk to school, around 6-8 hours of dance each week).

She has never been very interested in food, even as a toddler. I think she views eating as a necessity rather than something that she particularly enjoys (unless it's chocolateHmm).

Until recently, she really struggled to eat anything at all in the mornings, so I would give her a smoothie with fruit/veg/nuts/yoghurt etc to tide her over until lunch. However, she has started getting up earlier and now feels ready to eat about an hour or so after waking. She usually has a bowl of porridge (made with milk not water) with raisins and berries. I'm really pleased that she is eating a better breakfast.

However, she is now saying that she doesn't feel very hungry at lunchtime, and she just wants salad. So today, she had a mix of green leaves, cherry tomatoes, half an avocado and some goats cheese. This is fairly typical - usually some combination of veg with eggs or cheese. She will sometimes eat houmous and she will also let me put beans/lentils in the salad, but again, not too many as they make her feel full/bloated. I'd like to add some nuts but can't because of the school's no nuts policy.

I've tried offering pasta/rice/couscous/quinoa in a salad, as well as various types of bread, crackers etc, but she says she doesn't have an appetite at lunchtime and they make her feel too full/bloated. She doesn't eat meat and won't take fish to school.

I don't want to force her to eat (not that I could anyway!) but it doesn't seem like a very substantial lunch to me. However, I have lifelong problems with overeating and I really don't have a sense of what's "normal", so I guess I'm looking for perspective. Is this an ok lunch for a growing teen if it's all she wants? FWIW, she will eat a proper cooked meal in the evening, with protein/carbs etc., though I think her portion sizes still tend to be somewhat smaller than the average adult would eat.

She is conscious of trying to eat healthily but I don't think she worries about her weight and I've no reason to believe that there is any kind of medical problem/eating disorder. I think she is genuinely just not that interested in food and has a small appetite/doesn't like to feel too full. If what she is eating is ok, then that's all well and good, I certainly don't want to pass on my food issues to her! At the same time, I don't want to be neglectful or miss the signs of something if actually it's not enough.

Sorry if these are stupid questions. It's just quite difficult when you know your own perspective is a bit warped!

OP posts:
FrederickCreeding · 10/01/2019 23:00

I think that sounds fine and very healthy, but then I'm no expert. I know that I never ate lunch at all when I was at secondary. No idea why really, but I wasn't ever particularly hungry either.

Wish I was more like that now!

AlexaShutUp · 10/01/2019 23:01

Just to be clear, it's mainly the lack of carbs with her lunch that I'm worried about. I know loads of people avoid carbs anyway, but it's my understanding that they're important for teenagers. She does eat them in the mornings/evenings though, so is it ok to go without at lunchtime?

OP posts:
AlexaShutUp · 10/01/2019 23:03

Thanks Fred, that's helpful. It's interesting that you didn't want lunch at that age and yet you didn't feel hungry.

OP posts:

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LovingLola · 10/01/2019 23:04

I think it’s concerning that at 13 she is limiting food groups. Keep an eye on her.

User10fuckingmillion · 10/01/2019 23:06

It sounds healthy food wise, but I think her language around food and apparent complete lack of appetite sounds concerning.

AlexaShutUp · 10/01/2019 23:15

Hmm, so potentially cause for concern then? I will certainly keep a close eye.

The lack of appetite isn't really new. She has been distinctly uninterested in eating ever since she was weaned. I don't think I've ever heard her say that she is hungry.

Are there particular things that I've mentioned which you think are worrying?

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 10/01/2019 23:20

My slim butvless active than yours (doesn't dance) 14 year old would be chewing her own arm off with that op.

AlexaShutUp · 10/01/2019 23:23

Thanks RJ. I'd be chewing my arm off too tbh, but wasn't sure if that's because I habitually overeat.

OP posts:
AlexaShutUp · 10/01/2019 23:25

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can get her to eat a bit more?

OP posts:
AlanaMay · 10/01/2019 23:33

My 13yo has a roll (with hummus and salad most days, occasionally cheese or egg), a piece of fruit and some kind of treat (ie biscuit, granola bar, crisps). I make a very similar lunch for me and I don't ever feel hungry.

PipGoesPop · 10/01/2019 23:34

Maybe she feels sleepy after lunch if she eats too heavily? I know I do!

GemmeFatale · 10/01/2019 23:34

I’m a slim healthy adult and think that’s fine.

Her breakfast has carbs, the veg at lunchtime has carbs (plus the fat will make her feel fuller for longer) and she eats a balanced dinner.

I wouldn’t panic.

AlexaShutUp · 10/01/2019 23:39

Thank you all, good to get different views.

You may be right about the feeling sleepy thing, Pip.

OP posts:
SimplyPut · 10/01/2019 23:44

My DD14 would definitely still be hungry but I guess it depends what your DD eats other than those two meals?

From memory DD ate the following today. She's 5'4", petit size 10 or 8, moderately active...

Porridge with milk, warm berries and peanut butter and a glass of apple juice.
Apple.
Cajun chicken breast, lettuce, cucumber, peppers, cherry tomatoes and couscous followed by a liberte honey yogurt and water.
Banana and a glass of milk.
Salmon fillet, teriyaki sauce, broccoli and noodles.
Chocolate cashews and tea.
Plus water through the day.

My concern would be her aversion to so many foods. DD is conscious of her figure but seems to understand balance and enjoys treats too.

explodingkitten · 10/01/2019 23:56

Well if you want to up her carbs and aren't fussed with a very healthy option you could try a samdwich with chocolate sprinkles like they have in the Netherlands (but it's more a child thing). Butter a slice of brown bread, grate some chocolate over it if you can't find the sprinkles, top with another slice of bread and done.

BlueCornishPixie · 11/01/2019 00:05

I wouldn't be concerned about what she's eating perse but I would be concerned about the amount of restrictions.

That's a lot of reasons not to eat various things for lunch, a lot of things that she cant have. Crackers for example shouldnt really make you bloated, and I'm not sure at 13 I really knew or cared about bloating. It is quite a small lunch. I would be starving and I'm not sure it would give me enough energy for school and dance. For some it would be fine, it's not that it's a bad lunch it's more the number of things she doesnt want and the not being hungry that would worry me a little.

AlexaShutUp · 11/01/2019 00:06

Simply, thanks for sharing what your dd eats, that's interesting. DD definitely doesn't eat that much in an average day. She doesn't generally eat between meals either, unless she is offered a favourite treat of some sort. She doesn't usually feel hungry so it doesn't occur to her.

She doesn't really have an aversion to particular foods per se. It's more like she isn't really interested enough to have a strong opinion either way. She has never eaten meat because we don't have it at home - we've always said that she is free to eat it in school or outside if she wants but for the time being, she chooses not to. She'll quite happily eat fish/beans/carbs etc at home - I can't really think of anything else that she won't eat tbh, with the exception of brussel sprouts! It's just that she is fussy about what she takes to school (fish is apparently too smelly!) and about anything that she perceives as "heavy" at lunchtime.

She does enjoy treats, especially chocolate/cookies, and will eat stuff like that if it's there. I don't think she denies herself particularly.

I really enjoy my food, so it's hard to understand her disinterest!

OP posts:
AlexaShutUp · 11/01/2019 00:15

Thanks for all of the responses. I'm not really sure if I want to up her carbs or not exploding. It's more a question of whether I need to, and I'm still a bit uncertain.

I worried endlessly about her not being hungry when she was little, but was reassured by the GP that she was fine and wouldn't starve herself. It's just a bit more complicated now she is a teenager.

I do agree that crackers aren't that filling, Blue, unless I gave her too many? (4) I don't know whether part of the problem is that she is quite a slow eater and whether that makes her feel full more quickly or a bit overwhelmed if there is too much food?

She always seems to have bags of energy, and is generally a happy/confident child.

OP posts:
GretchenFranklin · 11/01/2019 00:26

She always seems to have bags of energy, and is generally a happy/confident child.

She sounds fine. I ate a similar lunch at this age, choosing lots of fresh items but not sandwiches and crisps type lunch. I would not worry.

Flower777 · 11/01/2019 00:29

It sounds ok to me...

You could look at it like she knows what she needs.

If she has carbs with breakfast and dinner then I don’t see why she needs them at lunchtime too.

I would back off a bit. My mum fussed a lot about what I ate as a teenager and it was just annoying to be honest.

sirmione16 · 11/01/2019 00:30

Gosh teenagers have it better than anyone I can remember at this age! We'd have sandwiches, crisps, fruit/veg. Sometimes money to go to the shop to buy our own crap lunch or at 16 we'd be found most often with pot noodles!! Of course this isn't what I'm encouraging but looking back, and looking at what your DD eats, OP, I wouldn't worry in the slightest! :)

AlexaShutUp · 11/01/2019 00:37

Thanks. I do get why it would be annoying, and I try incredibly hard not to fuss or show any concern to dd. I'm aware that I have difficulties with food which I don't want to pass on, so have always tried to make it a non-issue with her as much as I can. I accept that I may not always get this right.

OP posts:
AlexaShutUp · 11/01/2019 00:42

Thanks again for all of the comments. For the time being, I will try to keep a subtle (unfussyGrin) eye on what she is eating and how she is talking about food, but in the meantime, I'll try to trust that she knows what she needs....

Must get some sleep now!

OP posts:
Leeds2 · 11/01/2019 00:48

Would she take something like soup as an alternative?

I don't think you mention a "pudding", so maybe consider adding a banana/apple/yogurt which are probably not too filling.

BarbaraofSevillle · 11/01/2019 05:48

You say she is small for her age but not underweight. TBH, I wouldn't worry about the small dinner portions.

A lunch with avocado, cheese, hummus etc could have quite a lot of calories in it even if it looks small. Would she add something like a pitta bread?

She is much smaller than an average adult and while being a growing teen, she's not underweight, so maybe she is getting enough food for her. Maybe when she starts to grow into a young woman, she'll get the 'teen hunger' then?

Most people eat too much anyway, so those who eat the right amount will seem to be eating little to many.