Sad my 'best/oldest friend' doesn't even know I'm pregnant

[Notthisoneagain]

To cut a very long story short, I've suffered with fertility issues for 20 years, tried ivf about 10 years ago but it never worked.

Started ivf again 3 years ago, 5 cycles later and I'm now 39 weeks pregnant.

My oldest friend has never had children and when I told her we had a few failed ivf cycles under our belts she was a little distant with me. I told her we weren't cycling again (we didn't think we were at this point). She seemed happy with that news!

I then fell ill with an infected blood clot and was admitted to hospital in intensive care. When I told my friend she as very off with me and basically just said 'only you'.

I nearly died so I found this quite hurtful that she clearly didn't care.

Since then I've not heard from her at all. A few months after recovery we had another ivf cycle and it finally worked!

I'm just feeling really sad that my oldest and closet friend doesn't even know I'm pregnant. To be honest I don't think she'd even be happy for me but I'm wondering if I should make contact.

What would you do?

I'd leave it. Enjoy your happiness. Some friendships are always there, so she will come back when she feels ok. Some are just for a bit. Babies are an uncomfortable thing that not everyone goes nuts over. If you nearly died and she didn't show concern then you may be clutching at straws here calling her your friend.

Write it in a card next Christmas if she hasn't got in touch first.

It's her birthday in a couple of months so I might send her a card with my news. Then I suppose the balks in her court if she still doesn't want anything to do with me.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I thought having children would bring ne closer to a very good friend (who already had kids). I think I've seen her 5 times since my boys were born. She blanked my boys birthdays this year, not even a text, so I took that as a goodbye.

Some people like you to be available to them, maybe your friend has struggled privately with not having kids, maybe they just aren't remotely interested.

Personally, I'd let it go. It hurts & feels strange, but clearly you've gone in different directions, and that's ok. She's hardly been a great mate recently anyway, has she?

Besides.... you're going to have a new bestie very soon

That's very true @GroggyLegs and I can't wait to meet my new bestie

Don't send it in a birthday card. It doesn't like this friendship is salvageable and it's not your fault, and she's behaving very badly, but you know that your news will upset her - doing it in a birthday card is cruel