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Original poster

Does anyone else find the comments made by this mans son odd?

46 replies

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 10/01/2019 09:17

So one of the sons in the recent news story regarding a man who found out his 3 children were not actually his, when he discovered he was actually infertile, has spoken out.

He is 19 years old and during his interview he made some comments which I found really peculiar.

"'I've not fallen out with Mum over this. We're all OK. She had just had an unhappy marriage and she wanted kids."

"It didn't hurt me. I felt nothing. It didn't really matter because we were grown up and he and my mum were divorced."

Is it just me who thinks these comments are strange and not what you would expect from an 19 year old talking about how his mother deceived another man and her children into believing they were related.

OP posts:

Bluntness100 · 10/01/2019 10:02

I don't find it odd no, he has no need to share his feelings with the media, and downplaying it and getting them off his back is the mature thing to do.

Birdsgottafly · 10/01/2019 10:04

"This man has sold his story to the press."

This multi millionaire. Would you do that to your three children? Regardless of Bio Dad, they were his children.

Says a lot about what sort of Man he is.

longwayoff · 10/01/2019 10:23

He didn't sell his story. Donation to Cystic Fibrosis Trust.

Melroses · 10/01/2019 10:25

I remember a high profile case where a rich man fought (behind the scenes and lawyers with the law on his side) to keep the child that was legally, not biologically his.

I realised that if you have the money, you have freedom. The cost to bring up a child, educate them is small in relation to the rest of your life, so you can let go of the financial implications. You benefit by maintaining your family structure and creating relationships that benefit you. It may not be Mills and Boone perfection, but what in life is, and you can buy it.

Not impressed with this guy.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 10/01/2019 10:26

I've only read one report on this, hadn't heard about it - but it looks like the (non) father's reaction to this would have contributed to the sons' feelings.

If you've loved and cared for boys for 20+ years, then you don't just suddenly start telling everyone that they're not your biological children - telling his family that they don't have grandchildren/nephews etc.
They're still boys he raised as his sons - to all intents and purposes, they ARE his sons. The DNA bit shouldn't make so much of a difference - what about in adoption cases? So I think the boys may be reacting to their "father's" reaction as well as anything else.

I think the media has jumped all over this because the "father" is suing his ex-wife for the return of paternity payments from the divorce settlement - seems that hasn't happened before?

Fabellini · 10/01/2019 10:29

He’s still sold his story though longwayoff... just because he didn’t keep the money doesn’t make it ok. He made sure that the whole world would be talking about, and judging, his ex wife and her sons.
He brought up those boys believing them to be his - it’s saying something about the type of person he is that he’s now able to be so vindictive towards them.

MadMum101 · 10/01/2019 10:37

Yep sounds like he is fully enmeshed of his mum. I totally believed all my mother told me about my real father too until I became older and wiser to her toxic behaviour.

I suspect the boys HAVE to side with their mother because to fully understand what she did is just too much for them, they lose all security, all trust etc. They still live with her in the FOG.

If she had any modicum of decency, she would have told them who their real father was soon after they discovered the truth. The fact the son says HE hasn't asked her speaks volumes. Her ex also wouldn't have had to drag her to court. She'd have agreed to reimburse him without it getting that far.

The oldest son had absolutely no right to blackmail him with NC if he took the court action.

He went public because he'd already lost his sons I suspect and now, because he just won the court case against the mother a few weeks ago. A guilty person painting themselves as the victim and the true victim being painted as the guilty party is absolutely horrific for MH, I don't blame him for shouting the truth from the rooftops.

BerylStreep · 10/01/2019 10:42

I was very unimpressed by the father going to the press about this. It smacked as revenge and trying to humiliate the mother, with no regard for the damage he may cause to the children.

I'm not trying to minimise the hurt and shock he must have felt when he discovered this, but he had been those children's father from birth, and they must have felt very rejected by his reaction. It wasn't just in the Daily Mail either - it was in both the Sunday Times and Monday's Times.

Having said that, I don't condone people having affairs. I've always thought that the existing relationship should be sorted out first before embarking on anything new.

PinkHeart5914 · 10/01/2019 10:42

I just don’t get how as the children’s mother you could lie to them about something like who the father really was. I can’t imagine lying to a child about something like that.

There are a lot of children raised in the world with Daddy not being the real Daddy. I'm not sure why the media has jumped all over this one. Perhaps because of Dad's millions
Ah well if daddy has millions probably explains why mummy shagged someone else and stayed with the millionaire claiming he was daddy

Hereharehere1 · 10/01/2019 10:45

Everybody reacts differently I guess. I know of a similar situation where it turned out that the youngest of 3 was conceived through an affair. What ensued was a divorce and now the boy now hasn’t spoke to his mother in 3 & half years. The other two children have a very dim view of their mother as well with limited contact.

The boys in this story obviously weren’t so keen on ‘dad’ anyway. Hence their reaction.

I think the mum should be made to return a certain amount of money. It’s essentially fraud.

juneau · 10/01/2019 10:51

The DM was the one who lied, we assume, but I doubt the kids are pissed off with her for having an affair - if she hadn't then none of them would exist!

HollowTalk · 10/01/2019 10:52

I think that what the mother has done is disgusting. I can't imagine the shock of discovering that my children weren't my own. And of course I'd still love them - it's not their fault - but I would never forgive the woman for her betrayal.

At the point when she was young and hadn't any children, if she was having an affair she should have left her husband. I think it's likely the man she had an affair with was married, too, which is why the threat is being made to reveal him now.

MadMum101 · 10/01/2019 10:53

How was he supposed to react Beryl? Pretend they were his, continue the lie their mother started and ignore his own pain at the situation? I think with the best will in the world, the most selfless person would have found that almost impossible.

It's a horrendous situation. It was always going to cause pain. Mother should have thought about that before she had unprotected sex with someone while married to someone else.

BerylStreep · 10/01/2019 10:57

Who's to say that the mother knew the children had been conceived by the other man anyway? Presumably her & her then DH had been having sex in and around the time that they were conceived, otherwise he would have queried it sooner?

The infertility was only discovered in recent years.

Hereharehere1 the mother has been ordered by the courts to pay back £250k of the divorce settlement. She was sued for paternity fraud.

Interestingly, my friend's brother is in an almost identical situation. They had a DD within a year of marriage. The marriage split up very early on, and he paid maintenance. The ExW told him after 6 months that the DD wasn't his, and refused him any access, yet the court have ordered he has a commitment to maintain the child until 18.

Perfectly1mperfect · 10/01/2019 10:58

I don't blame him for shouting the truth from the rooftops

I think he should have made sure everyone in 'their circle' knew the truth. His ex wife was absolutely wrong. But to go to the papers, I think is wrong an he ends up looking bad. How does it help anyone of them involved that everyone now knows. It just doesn't.

Original poster

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 10/01/2019 10:59

if she was having an affair she should have left her husband. I think it's likely the man she had an affair with was married, too

I did idly wonder why she wouldn't just leave him and have children with the other man. The cynic in me suspects the man she had an affair with wasn't as financially secure as the man she decided to deceive.

OP posts:

BerylStreep · 10/01/2019 11:01

MadMum101 I agree with you - I can't imagine how painful and betrayed he felt. But that doesn't mean it was ok for the father to give interviews to the press about it.

longwayoff · 10/01/2019 11:32

Fabellini, fair point and I agree if it's true. I believe this came to light via a tabloid rooting through court documents and saying to the father, we're printing this anyway, do you want to comment? In which case, if true, I give him some latitude.

IhateBoswell · 10/01/2019 12:21

I don’t think it’s weird, and I agree with pp, he sounds mature and levelheaded for his age.
I don’t think I’d be too impressed with my father airing the family’s dirty washing, no need for all the interviews.
He has made things more difficult imo.

notacooldad · 10/01/2019 12:28

There are a lot of children raised in the world with Daddy not being the real Daddy. I'm not sure why the media has jumped all over this one. Perhaps because of Dad's millions.
I would assume that the media are all over it because the non bio dad, although hasn't a famous name, most people will know his company and also that his ex wife has to pay him 250K.
That will, for the media, be enough to make it 'an interesting story'

winsinbin · 10/01/2019 17:28

What I find interesting about this story is the length of time the wife lied for and apparently he never suspected. My heart also goes out to,the dad and the boys who were fed this lie for so long. It was a terrible thing to do to all of them.

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