Panic attack looking after newborn

[tiredandworried123]

It happened late last night. We'd had a tough day, my husband and I are really feeling the effects of lack of sleep and my cat has been unwell (phoning first thing for a vet appt).

I've been quite up and down since the birth (which was tough but they all are I guess) and was quite tearful yesterday. We tried going to sleep together in the same room with baby in a Next To Me cot but he wouldn't settle. Cat was meowing unhappily and I was quite teary anyway and all of a sudden out of nowhere I went from 0-100 and had a full blown hyperventilating, feel like my head is going to explode panic attack.

My other half calmed me down, it didn't last long but it was scary. I just had a thought I didn't think I could look after my baby and then all of a sudden I couldn't breathe...

I'm struggling to come to terms with my new reality although I do definitely feel a lot of love for my baby, I suppose I'm grieving a little for my past life.

I've had mental health struggles in the past although haven't taken anti depressants for about 6 years. I had CBT earlier in my pregnancy as I was having catastrophising thoughts about losing my husband, losing my baby etc. It didn't help much to be honest but by my third trimester I was feeling okay about the impending arrival and had stopped obsessing so much about bad things happening.

I have my final midwife appt today but I need to cancel it so we can take my cat to the vet first thing. I was supposed to be going out to see her. Do you think she'll talk to me on the phone instead? Coincidentally I'm also scheduled a home visit from the health visitor this afternoon - should I tell her? I'm scared.

I'm so scared of what is happening. Im so angry with myself for not being stronger. I'm worried I've made a mistake having my baby even though I love him. I'm worried how I'll get through this stage without sleeping properly. I'm sick of crying.

Can anyone advise what I should do?
Has anyone felt similarly?

I'm so scared about my husband going back to work soon.

Can OH not take cat to the vet? Yes, tell your HV and midwife- they will help you.
You haven't made a mistake, you can do this! You just need a bit of help/ support. Lots of people get this, it's just not spoken about much. I felt totally alone but telling HV was the right thing to do.

Sorry this reply is so short. I don't have much time but had to reply as I have been there. Definitely get help from hv/ your go. It will make a huge difference to you and your wee one.

*GP

It’s pretty common especially among first time mums.

I think we’re evolved to watch out for dangers and worry about our babies and sometimes that goes into overdrive?

I had post-natal anxiety and was treated for it. Your GP, midwife and health visitor will all be aware of this issue and able to advise.

First of all, don't be angry with yourself. You are sleep deprived, full of hormones and still adjusting to a new life with a newborn. You will get through this.

Spak to your HV and MW too, if they are not helpful the make an appointment with your GP asap. You may have PND but it could jut be that yesterday was just one of those days when it got too much. You reacted with a Panic Attack, this doesn't mean that you will start having them frequently, it could just be a one off. If it did happen again, just place the new born somewhere safe whilst you 'ride it out'. Recognising that you are having a panic attack and knowing that it will pass means that you'll recover quicker. Baby will be fine as long as they are in a safe place and can't roll off a bed for example.

I had many bad days on the beginning and may have had PND. It does get easier. One thing we did to help me get the base necessity of sleep was to do shifts. DD would only sleep on us for the first few weeks so DH would sit with her from about dinnertime until around midnight whilst I slept for 4-5 hours. I would then 'take over' until early morning when he would sometimes do another shift.

Please do speak to someone and keep posting on here as it is horrible to feel alone and tired and things always seem out of proportion when sleep deprived.

Apologies for spellings and errors, I was in a rush to get this message on and didn't check before posting!

Do you have any family nearby? If you do then maybe you could set up some 'respite' time with them once your DH goes back to work. Maybe come over for a couple of hours a day a couple of times a week to get you an hours nap whilst they get to cuddle baby. I was lucky enough to have inlaws who wold come every Wednesday afternoon when DD was tiny and would look after her whilst I went upstairs for a little snooze.

I found the newborn stage incredibly hard and wonderful at the same time. Some people make it look all rosy and cozy but I think it is ok to say that it is sometimes a struggle to get through the day. My SIL who had a baby before me was very honest about it and I found this helpful and made me feel less of a 'failure'. At my antenatal group I met some wonderful mums who were very honest about life with a newborn and I found this a life saver on bad days. Mumsnet is great too of course!

Definitely tell health visitor. Post natal anxiety is really common and treatable. They see it all the time so no need to suffer in silence for fear of what might happen.

The early days of motherhood I found shocking, the reality of a screaming baby nd sleep deprivation on top of birth recovery and trying to do my best for my baby.

It does get easier. Although catastrophic thoughts remain really common for lots of women for a while.

Ask for and accept support and give yourself a break. You have got this even when you feel you haven’t x

Ok, please don't cancel your appointment, get OH to take the cat to the vet, or rearrange the vet appointment.
I had PND after my first baby, like you, I had the catastrophising thoughts but mine continued for several months after the birth - I kept please tell your midwife, Health Visitor and GP, help is available, you need to be honest with them and ask for the support you need.There is no need to be scared, their job is to help you to be healthy.

Please don't cancel your appointment. The cat can wait or let partner take it.
Almost everyone feels like this at some point especially in the early days. Have you got a nearby/supportive mum to help when partner goes back to work? Mine was the best, never judged, just was there.