Advice on reading at a funeral

[Malibucyprus]

My lovely Nan passed away recently, she is due to be buried this week.

I've been asked to read a short poem on behalf of all the Grandkids, I am honoured, and really want to, but I don't want to stand up in front of everyone in church and be an incomprehensible blubbering wreck.

Does anyone have any tips on how to get through it? It's only a short poem, should take less than a minute to read.

Try and stand where you can't see the coffin during your reading.
Have someone ready to take over if you need it, that should give you confidence and so you provably won't need the help.
Learn it really well so that the words come out automatically rather than thinking about the words.
Finally, your Nan will be very proud of you

I read a story I had written as part of a creative module at university. It was based on my GPs first date.
I had changed a few details including names when I first wrote it so I had to edit it for the reading. I didn’t want to but I’m glad I did as it made me more familiar with the story.
My cousin who was reading after me came up with me so we could support eachother. My voice did crack and I cried at the end but I am so so glad I done it and you will be too OP.
Take some tissues up with you and remember how proud your lovely Nan is of you

I have someone willing to take over, if I can’t do it, but I really want to.

As it stands, I can’t even read it out to my DP when I practice. It sets me off every time.

Thank you for saying she’d be proud, means a lot.

I was a blubbering wreck reading at my mum's funeral. If the worst comes to the worst and you do lose it, no one is going to judge you for it. Sometimes the knowledge that it's okay if you lose it, is enough to make sure you won't.

Know the reading inside out; I only realised last minute that we needed a reading and was totally unprepared, which didn't help.

Practise breathing slowly and deeply. Enunciate your words clearly. At my gran's funeral I read the eulogy; I ended up sounding really glaswegian, but I didn't cry.

Have someone there to take over if it's too much.

You'll be fine. Whatever happens your love for your gran will shine through.

Try to memorize the poem if you can. No-one is going to expect an unemotional narration. Focus on the paper in front of you, remember to breathe, pause when you need to and maybe even take a small water bottle with you and of course tissues.

You will be okay. [Flowers]

Sorry about your grandma. Can you practice in the church to get your voice?

Focus on someone in the congregation that you know (who isn’t crying) maybe the vicar. Don’t rush it and think about your voice being clear and loud. Don’t worry if you cry. Most people do and some can’t speak at all. We volunteered my BIL to do mums eulogy and for the life of me I can’t remember who delivered dads (possibly my brother).

I did one at my grandads funeral this year. We weren’t very close so I probably wasn’t as emotional as you may be. I know when public speaking eye contact is key but I decided against it and just looked down at the poem in case catching anyone’s eye started me off. I tried to say it as slowly as possible. You’ll be fine and do her proud.

I always take my glasses off in such instances. I can’t see a bloody thing so it makes the world more bearable.

I’ve done this I stood with my cousin who was reading next and we supported each other through it. I read it out loud over and over and over in the days leading up, so it was familiar if not pretty much memorised. It was emotional but I could do it and was so glad I did, it really helped me in dealing with losing her.

Hope it is a peaceful day for you all

Practice practice practice and then on the day don’t think about the meaning of the words. Try to see them as just black patterns on white.

I read a poem at my dads funeral. I practiced and practiced so that I knew it very well. On the day I took lots of deep breaths before hand. Take it slowly and don’t be afraid to take a pause or deep breath If you feel yourself faltering. I lost it on the second to last line, but after a moment I pulled myself back together and finished, albeit very shakily. No one judged me badly for being emotional, it’s expected. This is a wonderful thing you are doing so be gentle on yourself. I’m sorry for your loss OP .

Oh this is hard. I couldn't do this for my father's funeral. We weren't even very close and I couldn't remember the last words we exchanged but I was grief stricken when he dies.

The thing to remember is even if you make mistakes, cry, break down: well what you are doing is showing her a final act of love.

I and my fellow eldest cousin read a poem at our beloved Grandmother's funeral. I was OK until I looked at my mother and then I started to cry. But I finished my part.

I hope you get through the service and remember nobody will be anything other than touched by what you do
And I am sorry for your loss 💐

Thank you all for your lovely replies.

My sister is reading a poem too, before me, so at least we’ll have each other up there. I’m relying on her holding it together tbh, it could work out well, if she manages it, I’m sure I will, but if she breaks down, that’ll set me off.

Good idea about not wearing your glasses, I’d thought about doing the same, if I can’t see people, they’re not there.

I’m nervous that all eyes are going to be on us, but it’s mostly family and as above I’m sure they won’t judge me for being sad.

This week has been really difficult, I suffer with anxiety as it is, so having this to worry about has really spiked it for me.

But I am determined to do it. In fact, I asked if I could do it.

Thank you all again x

Don’t look at anyone.

Pick a spot at the back and concentrate on it.

You can do it, she would be very proud of you.

People won't be looking to judge - they will be looking to support you. Definitely practice as much as possible actually speaking the poem out loud so it will come easily on the day. Best wishes.

I did a reading at my Grandmother’s funeral a month ago and I practiced it over and over and over again to my DH. I also couldn’t make eye contact with anyone so was eyes down, concentrating on the reading. Sorry for your loss and if you do cry don’t worry, it doesn’t matter and everyone else will be sad too.

I'm sorry for your loss.

My dad died recently and I had to do the eulogy (shared with my brother). My lovely best friend said something along the lines of - while you're very sad, remember that everything they (the person who's died) taught you all comes together to get you through this and do a good job. They've actually been preparing you for this moment.

My dad did a lot of debating in his days at school and taught us how to project and how many words you need in a speech of X minutes etc.

What has your nan taught you in life that you can use to make the best possible go of doing this for her?

I took my DH up and held his hand throughout the funeral reading I did (for my cousin, who was 29 when she died unexpectedly, so everyone was distraught). And he was there to take over if I needed him too (I didn’t). I also didn’t look at the audience much. Good luck.

I've done a speech at a funeral. My advice would be to pretend you're an actress. Worked for me. Good luck