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Original poster

Can anyone advise. Exp in psychiatric ward. Homeless. Discharging.

54 replies

FlorencePetal · 09/01/2019 11:18

My exp is in hospital as suicidal

She can't come back here.

I've told the ward and they still tried to discharge her

They've kept her in but I'm scared they're going to try and discharge her again

I called Manchester Social care and they said she should have a care co ordinator who helps with those things

Other wise she needs to present at the town hall as homeless.

She's locked up right now but if she's let out she wont do that

I'm going round in circles

She can't claim any benefits as she has no address

Can anyone please help

OP posts:
Wotev · 09/01/2019 19:43

I got emergency council accommodation as they couldn't discharge me onto the street. The emergency out service sat with me in the council for 3 whole days while the psychiatry team argued with the housing team. Tell her not to leave until they sort something with the council. My guys worked really really hard to get me housed in London (they offered me a place in Hertfordshire) and psychiatry argued that it would be impossible for me to not have the support of the services I was connected with. They can't discharge her. They'll try (the council) to come with options for her, but she has to be clear that she has nowhere to go.

Wotev · 09/01/2019 19:44

The hospital didn't discharge me until I had somewhere to go. I don't think they could.

Wotev · 09/01/2019 19:45

The reason I had nowhere to go is because flatmates in my boyfriends houseshare wouldn't have me back after an attempted suicide.

Wotev · 09/01/2019 19:47

It was actually a condition of bail that I couldn't go back to that address (housemate had me charged with affray because he was afraid for his life apparently).

They can't discharge her as far as I know.

Wotev · 09/01/2019 19:50

The psychiatry team usually has a budget for emergency b&b's (mine had). Don't worry, she's actually in the best place she could be, if she doesn't discharge herself. I know it's utterly shit for her, but some good might come of it.

Original poster
FlorencePetal · 09/01/2019 19:50

Wotev they sound like a great team

Unfortunately hers don't seem arse at all and after a week still haven't even got her a care co ordinator :(

OP posts:
Wotev · 09/01/2019 19:54

I didn't have a care co-ordinator (I have one now), but it was the Head of Psychiatry who fought with the Head of Housing behind the scenes, while we sat for 3 days, with all my (tiny amount of) worldly possessions with me. They CAN do this. You need to tell them unequivocally that she can't go back to yours and that she has nowhere to go.

Wotev · 09/01/2019 19:56

Is it suicide attempts that has her in there? They will find her something. And fast. Because a night in a psychiatric hospital costs about 3 times as much as a night in council accommodation

Wotev · 09/01/2019 20:01

One of the documents the psychiatry team had produced was a risk assessment for me (the most upsetting thing on that, was that I was a risk to children!!!!!). But they should have a document like that. My emergency nurses brought that with them, and filled out the forms for me (I hadn't the wherewithal to write my name at the time).

Wotev · 09/01/2019 20:02

There was one woman in particular, who fought like a lioness on my behalf. She'd ring the nurses periodically to check that I was holding up ok. She was bloody brilliant.

Wotev · 09/01/2019 20:04

Also, I had no family in the area, just a GP, and psychiatry. Not been in the borough long enough. Everything that makes the computer say no. They will get her sorted.

NotANotMan · 09/01/2019 20:06

I'm a children's social worker.
You need to disengage. The longer you remain enmeshed with her the more likely she will manipulate herself back into your lives which will put the DC at risk.
I'm not being unsympathetic when I use the word manipulate. She's very unwell and very unwell people often aren't capable of thinking of other's needs only their own and will do what they can to get them met.

BifsWif · 09/01/2019 20:07

Please call your local MASH team (google will bring up the number) and make a referral.

Then I think you have to walk away from this, for your own health and well-being.

Wotev · 09/01/2019 20:08

What a cruel thing to say! She can remain UNmeshed and still want the best for her ex. Nobody is so cruel to leave anyone on the streets (usually).

CottonTailRabbit · 09/01/2019 20:10

It is a kindness to cut contact completely.

How is she supposed to move on when you, her ex, keep inserting yourself into her life? I know you mean well and think she can't survive without you but please step away completely. Don't even find out what is happening.

This failure to separate plus tolerating the emotional abuse is very codependent.

Wotev · 09/01/2019 20:11

Can I just say, that within less than a year, I had a permanent council flat, and got a good permanent full time job! Accommodation was a massive stress component in my illness. Yes, she's an ex, and the OP certainly should not have her live there again, but she can still help from the sidelines.

AwdBovril · 09/01/2019 20:11

You are not being cruel in cutting contact. It's actually the best way to get the hospital to engage with the relevant social care people / departments. If the hospital think there's the slighest chance you are a viable option to take charge of her, they'll keep chasing you for a response. You have to keep telling them that you are no longer involved. I've seen this first hand; it's hard & horrible but you (& she) will get there. Flowers

Wotev · 09/01/2019 20:12

All these heebygeeby buzz words thrown around. Codependent blah my ass. The woman is in a psychiatric hospital facing living on the streets. Some of us have compassion.

Wotev · 09/01/2019 20:13

OP are you male or female?

NotANotMan · 09/01/2019 20:15

What a cruel thing to say! She can remain UNmeshed and still want the best for her ex. Nobody is so cruel to leave anyone on the streets (usually)

Her CHILDREN need to be her priority. She's already had social services involved because of the risk to them from this woman. You want them on child protection plans? Witnessing suicide attempts or self harm? Being taken into care?

Wotev · 09/01/2019 20:20

She can still support the ex without having the woman back!

Fairylea · 09/01/2019 20:24

I know how difficult it is but if she is really an ex and you don’t want her back then you need to cut contact completely. Nothing good can come of this, for you or for her, or for your children.

They will keep ringing you and expecting you to step up / house her as long as you keep responding.

My mum has schizophrenia and I have had times I’ve just had to walk away and cut contact with her, I just can’t cope myself otherwise and I have a family to protect and look after. And that’s my mum... not an ex!

Wotev · 09/01/2019 20:26

Psychiatry will NOT recommend she goes back to children.

EatCrisps · 09/01/2019 20:38

Try calling a homeless or mental health charity you Thanks

lemonface · 09/01/2019 20:46

Try shelter